Ringing the bell for coffee!!! - Father of the Bride (1950) Discussion

[–] smrhyne-1 16 years ago

Yeah! It must have been nice. Mrs Banks didn't have a job, but she still had a maid to cook, clean and wait on her. Sounds to me like she was lazy!

reply

[–] gosh717 16 years ago

Oh, for God's sake--get over yourselves! You need to have the intelligence to understand time/place/situation when you watch older movies. This was an upper-middle class family of the time period. If you had a maid, as they did, a bell on the dinner table was commonplace as the way to summon that maid (who would not take offense--it was the way things were done in that strata of society). It has nothing to do with laziness, racism, superiority, etc.

It's fine if you want to watch and enjoy classic films, but please don't hold them to the standards of contemporary times. To appreciate them, you must be able to put the acting and actions in context.

reply

[–] Jessica-656 16 years ago

No argument that that's the way "things were done" in those days, but there's nothing wrong with noticing, from a 21st-century POV, that the whole procedure was somewhat insulting to the servant and slightly riduculous. Heaven forbid an upper-class lady should raise her voice even a little!

reply

[–] mdami75602 15 years ago

It is called class, charm, style, panache, and its all too sad that it has gone out of style.

reply

[–] dakotasdad 15 years ago

Exactly mdami. Most people don't have a clue how well-off people live. To put it in terms they may understand; Tom Cruise, Oprah, Beyonce, J Lo etc. etc. don't get their own coffee-they has servants get it. That is one reason you have servants plus they make your life so much more enjoyable;) What else would the servants be doing besides watching TV or gossiping on the phone in the kitchen while their employers dined?

reply

[–] smrhyne-1 15 years ago

So you're saying that Mrs Banks' life would have been less enjoyable had she gotten up and gotten her own coffee? Having a servant doesn't necessarily mean you are well-off. I grew up in the 50's and 60's and my mom worked as a domestic in several homes. Some of these families weren't much better off than we were. There was one family that we worked for who didn't even have a vacuum cleaner. I had to sweep the floor with a broom. Even my family had a vacuum cleaner. Some of them would give my mom their kids' old clothes which were nowhere near as nice as our own clothes. I think back then, have a maid was a status symbol. It still is, I guess.

reply

[–] dakotasdad 15 years ago

Most houses in nice parts of L.A. in the 1930s-1950s were built w/a maid's room-even average sized houses. It was fairly common even for middle-class people to have a housekeeper in those days. Upper middle class people often had a live-in housekeeper.

I don't think it was a status symbol for everyone but it could have been for some people. It's similar to today w/so many nannies raising the children of even stay-at-home mothers.

reply

[–] 15 years ago

[deleted]

[–] blairbear3 15 years ago

I agree with gosh717 and dakotasdas, that's just how the times were and it's fine to give your point of view with today's perspective in mind, but there's no reason to find it "annoying" or anything like that. It's just a movie anyway. Don't get wrong, I'm sure some of real people of the time did that, but to be annoyed at what characters in a movie are doing for ENTERTAINMENT purposes is pointless.

reply

[–] jenjen1960 15 years ago

To Skinny
In your lame attempt to be funny, you just look very stupid...

reply

[–] 15 years ago

[deleted]

[–] nbroyles 15 years ago

Funny. When I watch this movie, I also groan at that part. It's not so much that she rings for the servant, it's that line "let me get you some coffee" THEN rings for some coffee. Although it is irksome, it also makes me glad I wasn't alive back then.

reply

[–] jenjen1960 15 years ago

THANK YOU!!!!! Gee...someone on this board gets it!!! THATS WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT! I am fully aware of the times..but I was annoyed when she RANG the bell and said "let ME get your coffee like she was getting it her self...that was all...some people get so touchy don't they? LOL!!!

reply

[–] DesmondRules 14 years ago

The bell represented freedom to the servant/maid.

I worked in a bookstore and we had bell for customers to ring whenever we worked in the backroom. People didn't like ringing the bell, however, once I explained that it actually gave me freedom, as in, I didn't have to sit in the front beside the till all day waiting for people to show up and I could move about until the bell notified me that someone needed assistance, they understood why we had a bell and why it was okay for them to ring it.

Likewise, a household with a servant would want a way to call the servant without requiring them to stand beside them 24 hours a day, i.e. ring a bell at the table, or push a call button or pull a curtain. This allowed the maid/servant freedom to move about the house.

Let's face it, it isn't like they were slaves. A servant/maid is an employee and they are being paid which allows them to feed their own family. There is nothing undignified about being a maid/servant. The employer didn't hire someone so they themselves could get the coffee - that's why they hired a servant in the first place!

And Delilah and the Banks family had a wonderful relationship when you consider it was an employer and employee relationship.

Finally, I like how it's forgotten that Mrs Banks wanted to clean up the house at the end and not leave everything for Delilah. That shows respect for their employee, servant/maid and friend.

reply

[–] Blondfashionisto 14 years ago

This is a very interesting thread and discussion...

In other movies I've seen, the lady of the house usually does refer to the domestic personally with requests - i.e. 'Would you like Jane to get you some coffee?'. But, yes, it really was a different time.

As to answering to a bell, I think I'd prefer to staying in the kitchen to having to stand there watching the family eat and/or having to serve them individually.

‘Six inches is perfectly adequate; more is vulgar!' (Prime of Miss Jean Brodie Re: An open window).

reply

[–] dakotasdad 14 years ago

The bell was an alternative to having a buzzer to call the servant(s). I've seen many older homes w/a buzzer button located on the dining room floor. The person seated at the head of the table could push the button w/their foot to call the maid.

reply

[–] nscom-1 12 years ago

Thank you, Desmond, for providing a sensible reply to a silly comment by the original poster. Delilah was in the kitchen doing what she was paid to do, cooking or cleaning, maybe. When the bell rang, she knew it was time to serve her employers's guests their coffee.

She was an employee, and yet she was treated like a family member and sat in the wedding congregation with the family.

Why do some people have to be so silly about things?

reply

[–] bebop63-1 13 years ago

I don't see what's wrong with ringing the bell to summon a servant, but then you're entitled to your POV. IMHO, it would have been better to do that than for Mrs Banks to holler at the top of her voice for Delilah. Though the latter was just a domestic, you could see throughout the movie that the relationship between her and Mrs Banks ( and the rest of the family for that matter)was more than just employer and servant, judging from the scenes where: 1) the Banks couple were about to depart for the church in a hired car and you can see Delilah dressed up in finery going with them, instead of being made to stay home and look after the house, and 2) the final scene, after the reception and all the guests have left, when Ellie tells Stanley that they better start cleaning up the mess and not leave it all for Delilah to do. It shows that she does show consideration and respect for the latter.

reply

[–] jenjen1960 13 years ago

WOW!! 3 years ago I made that comment and re-clarified it and some STILL don't get it!!
Sigh...for the last time: 1) I fully get the era...I get the whole housekeeper thing at that time! 2) Yes!! I am fully aware that Delilah was close to the family and she was treated rather well. 3) YES they did mention that they didn't want to leave the mess for Delilah which is great...

What I said was sooooo simple..I dont' care who is ringing the damn bell I didnt' get saying "Let ME get you coffee and then proceed to call the maid because YOU meaning the "bell ringer" are not the one actually getting the coffee. One has nothing to do with the other! If she had said Let me ask Delilah to bring the coffee (and yes feel free to ring the bell I have NO PROBLEM with that!) then that is fine...If I need to feed my cat and I announce "Let ME feed the cat" and proceed to tell my daughter to feed the cat..I AM NOT FEEDING THE CAT...
GET IT????? It's really not difficult! LOL!!!!!!! You guys are sooo funny!!!!

reply

[–] hodie 12 years ago

It's not that they don't 'get it.' It's that they don't think as you do.

"Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?"

reply

[–] TimeForLime 12 years ago

Please don't go aboard a military ship where the Captain says "make a course for 135 degrees East" and then three other people repeat it before it gets done.

As one of the other posters said, it's class, not just the period. If you can't accept that, I know of some communes on the outskirts of town where "everyone is equal" -- but ofours there is still a pecking order. In fact a much worse one than a polite upper-middle class house in the 1950s.

reply

[–] TimeForLime 12 years ago

If you watched the UK manor house films such as
GOSFORD PARK;

or TV series such as
DOWNTON ABBY
UPSTAIRS DOWNSTAIRS,

you've seen that the mansions were equipped with bells all over.

To summon servants to assigned positions or to give service (no smart remarks, please) in various rooms.

I've seen corporate dining rooms with bells under the dining table to summon servants to change courses. This gives privacy on the one hand and a quick change of course, OR COFFEE, on the other hand.

If this freaks you out, you might look within, rather than getting angry at Mrs. Banks for 'ringing for coffee'.

Sorry, JMHO.

reply

[–] SueSt-Marie 12 years ago

This is one of my favorite movies of all time! My take on the getting coffee scene is this: we, as viewers, are the fourth wall. While the viewer is seeing this scene unfold for the first time, the family is interacting as they have for years. Delilah is in the kitchen, preparing dessert, making coffee, doing evening tasks. They employ Delilah as their maid and part of the maid's job is serving meals, probably at set times. Until the bell rings, Delilah doesn't know that Kay is leaving early and coffee is to be served to the family a little ahead of the normal schedule. When Ellie says to Kay "Let me get your coffee" that is no doubt family shorthand for "I'll ring the bell, Delilah will come into the dining room from the kitchen, attend to my request for coffee and bring the freshly made coffee in from the kitchen." Ellie is in fact "getting" the coffee by means of ringing the bell to summon Delilah. Possibly on evenings when no one is leaving the table early, Delilah brings the coffee out in due course without a request from Ellie. Ringing the bell for coffee in this scene probably hasn't been an unusual request over the years, unlike the major clean up from after the wedding reception. At that point of the movie as has been mentioned, the Banks' start cleaning up so that it won't all be left for Delilah the next day.

reply