Just want to let folks know that there are alternatives to AA, although maybe not in every community.
One such is SOS (Secular Organizations for Sobriety / Save Our Selves).
http://www.sossobriety.org
You can find others online of course.
AA gets all the press, but in my family it only made things worse.
[deleted]
OP obviously doesn't like the fact that religion is a big part of AA.
shareIs it that obvious?
I'm lucky not to have the alcohal addiction, but if I did, I'd seek help without mythology.
Yes, you are very lucky.
In a world where a carpenter can be resurrected,anything is possible
AA is technically free, but they do a lot of urging for you to buy the books from them, make donations, etc.
I know when my girlfriend was in she was in she was almost ostracized when she couldn't afford the books. She ended up buying a couple but that was crap. Not to mention some of the awful people that we met from there. It really was kind of sickening.
Worst part is that it never really helped. She's done just as well on her own, if not better, than when she was there. Which, from everything I've ever read, is about average.
I wish this town had a secular sobriety group. People making you feel strong instead of weak.
I'm glad your girlfriend is doing well.
The group I've been in, for 2 years, only asked me (wouldn't call it pressure) to buy 2 of the books, The Big Book (8$), and the 12 & 12 (7$)
This was so I could get a better understanding of the program (The Big Book of AA)and and explanation of the 12 steps and traditions of AA.
I'm sorry you thought the people you meet were awful, or beneath you.
AAs 3rd tradition states "The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking"
In the group I belong to we have several doctors, nurses, lawyers, 2 judges, many self employed (2club owners)some folks who are retired, some who can't work, and some who won't work. BUT they are all staying sober working the program.
Donations are made in the form of passing the hat, most members give a dollar or two, some none at all because they don't have it. This money is used to buy the coffee, cookies, cups,pay the rent, and purchase books we resell at cost
All that said AA is not for everyone
In a world where a carpenter can be resurrected,anything is possible
They pass a basket for donations but I've NEVER heard anyone pressuring people to give. But they have to pay rent and pay for coffee and related supplies, and none of that is free. Most members are glad to kick in a buck or two.
And AA doesn't claim to be the only way (some overzealous members may make that claim, but none of us can speak for AA as a whole.) There are alternatives but I have no experience with them. AA's attitude seems to be (in my lonely opinion) pretty much whatever works for you is what you should do.
"Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?"
Same recovery rate for other programs, I don't know when that report was published , but the numbers I've read are between 5 and 7
Hard to track a program that's anonymous
In a world where a carpenter can be resurrected,anything is possible
In the 1980's, when I lived in the overpopulated Washington, D.C. suburbs, I found AA to be of some help, but in the end, not for me. Now, "overpopulated" was a good thing, as the DC area has (or did have at the time) more AA meetings than anywhere else in the country, per capita. This allowed enormous flexibility
and variery when it came to the type of meeting - and people - I wanted. I found friends, sponsors, support. Not quickly and not without some truly horrible experiences with certain meetings which were cultish or simply misguided in purpose, but I eventually did all right. I still phone some of my friends and occasionally drive back to visit. I attended about one thousand meetings during this time and my opinion can be called informed.
The point being that if you are fortunate enough to have such a vast number of meetings, and therefore a large number of people, some of whom will be like you and become friends with you, do give it a try if you're struggling with alcohol. I'm a shy person with social anxiety and although I knew everyone in the room I dreaded speaking and found more support by simply being there than "working the program." Of course I only speak for myself.
I moved to rural Maryland in the early 1990's, tried out a few (the few that were around) meetings here and couldn't stand them. Smoke-filled rooms of people who seem angry, at least for the most part. Half of the discussion is politics and religion and I finally walked away, expecting to "fail" since that is what had been jackhammered into my head countless times. "You'll never make it without the program," "leave and you'll die," etc. Since my move here I last attended a meeting in 1994 and have never been happier, never been more secure in my sobriety, am married and have a job I like. It's not supposed to work that way, or so I was told repeatedly, but I'm good.
With that said, I still would encourage anyone out there who suffers to get to AA as soon as you can, and stick with it for a while. The real key, eventually, is finding the right meetings and the right people . Non-alcoholics, well-meaning as they may be, don't understand. And if you live in an urban or densely suburban area, so much the better, as there are many more meetings to help you possibly find your way.
[deleted]
As a recovering alcoholic/addict myself, I would urge people to seek whatever it is that works for them, not for me or your neighbor. Not being very religious myself, AA didn't do it for me, but I know lots of people who have stayed sober going to meetings and following the steps.
That being said, the dirty little secret of AA is that its success rate is just about the rate of success of not going to AA, but sobering up alone (15% - %18).
Personally, I needed them to show me that there was hope and another way, even though I chose a different path. Ten years this summer, and I can sit at a bar and sip Mt. Dew and not feel at all awkward, but it took a lot to get here.
Just repeat to yourself "It's just a show I should really just relax." - MST3Kshare
AA is for the foolish and mean spirited. Every meeting I've ever been to was full of bible-thumpers, Thirteen steppers, and just flat-out judgemental pricks who do NOTHING BUT SELF-PROJECT. No thank you.
shareThat being said, the dirty little secret of AA is that its success rate is just about the rate of success of not going to AA, but sobering up alone (15% - %18).
The problem is when one still wants to drink and it is destroying him and hurting the ones he loves..
shareRational Recovery is a self study program that is the polar opposite of AA. I know of several people who have had great success using the Rational Recovery model. Anyone with an addiction of any kind should at least do some research on it.
share