MovieChat Forums > Doctor Zhivago (1965) Discussion > two loves

two loves

posted 13 years ago by intofilm
13 replies | jump to latest

What do you think about Zhivago loving two women, apparantly equally, at the same time? One the true-blue childhood sweetheart and mother of his children, the other the sexually attractive soul-mate.
At the time the movie came out, that created a big national stir. Lots of people were talking about whether such a thing is possible in real life. Personally, I think it happens a lot with men, maybe not so much with women but it still occurs.
I felt empathy for all three of them, caught in the triangle.

[–] heyuactor 13 years ago

It happened to me once but then one woman took precedence over the other after a while. It's unusual, I think, for the two loves to be sustained a long time.
Makes for a good movie, though.

"Did you make coffee...? Make it!"--Cheyenne.

[–] buckshot69 13 years ago

I can understand how it can be possible but it's very hard to keep up a relationship of that sort. To me it seems someone will be unhappy with the sharing principle.It's hard to find three people who like the exact same movie, much less three people who happen to fall in love accepting of that style of relationship.

To him mercy is passion With me it is good manners.You may judge which motive is more reliable

[–] coex23 13 years ago

polyamory is certainly a real phenomena. I think that this was more complicated than that, however. Yuri was in incredible situations, dragged all over the continent at such bizarre times in history, and that certainly has an emotional effect on someone.

[–] angelosdaughter 12 years ago

In my opinion the two women were incredibly generous toward each other. Yuri had known Tonya from the time both were children. In a way they had grown up as brother and sister, then had fallen in love, perhaps Tonya with Yuri more than the other way around, and fulfilled Tonya's mother's hopes by marrying.
Yuri was away from his family (not to excuse him for cheating, but it must be remembered that husbands having mistresses was pretty much accepted especially among the upper classes in the time and place in which the story is set), and was working in close proximity to Lara, with whom he was already slightly aquainted and to whom he was attracted. Both of them, but especially Lara was able to avoid consummating the affair because of guilt over possibly injuring Tonya and the child.
Indeed at the party which Kamarovsky attended with Lara, even Tonya who was also there with Yuri noted that she was an'extraordinary girl'.
When Tonya come to Lara looking for Yuri, aware that she was Yuri's mistress, she entrusted her with her letter to him as well as Yuri's mother's balalaika, admitting in the letter that Lara seemed to her a 'good person'.
Lara, who far from Yuri gives birth to the daughter of whom Yuri is unaware, gives that daughter Tonya's name.
It would have been interesting to have been a fly on the wall to have heard the two womens' conversation.
I think that Tonya, who knew Yuri better than anyone sensed his restlessness and wanted him to be happy at any cost. She seems to have sacrificed herself for his comfort in other ways, such as not lighting a fire until he came home, saving food for him, etc. after they were forced to share their home.
Lara felt guilt for being the 'other woman'.
Each woman behaved as well as she could given the circumstances.
Yuri loved Tonya, but had known her forever; Lara was new and fascinating for her novelty. Some men cannot resist novelty.

"..sure you won't change your mind? Why, is there something wrong with the one I have?"

[–] cathyguy 13 years ago

I don't care how 'Big Love' ish or new age you are, it's a train wreck. Plain and simple.
Even if it's sex only it's still a disaster waiting to happen.

"I believe in coincidences, I just don't trust them." Source debatable.

[–] Twilight33 12 years ago

DEFINITELY happens with women, too. Anyone who deludes themself into thinking only men can have "two loves" has no clue what actually goes in many women's lives. I know plenty of women who settled down with the nice boy-next-door and had, umm, continuing liaisons with their more exciting or passionate soul mate...

No, my username does not refer to "that" series. I just enjoy early evening!

[–] Lexiii67 12 years ago

I had zero sympathy for Dr. Z once he started screwing around with Lara while his wife was pregnant. I don't see this as a heartbreaking love story, except for the wife.

[–] seekermatt 12 years ago

"I don't see this as a heartbreaking love story, except for the wife."

i agree with you.
it's a question of personal morality, or immorality.
he's also cheating on his kids by having a second family.

[–] duderunner 12 years ago

Not equally. Lara was his only true love/sole mate. If he could have remained with her in that ice palace forever he would have been completely happy, even never seeing his wife and kids again.

[–] rosarypliers 12 years ago

To me, the movie's major flaw is that it is never explained what he finds in Lara. Sure, she's beautiful, but apart from that she doesn't seem to have anything that makes her special.

[–] angelosdaughter 12 years ago

I think Lara has the persona of a kind of earth mother, welcoming and comforting. She is also an independent woman who knows how to survive.When Zhivago's world is changed, he seems to become more a victim of circumstances than master of himself and protector of his family. When he returns at the end of the movie, his brother has had to use his influence to find him a position.
Zhivago goes to Lara for her compassion and strength. He is not a particularly strong person. Lara is stronger than he is. In the beginning it is she who resists the affair. She is concerned about the damage to his family and her own. She has also a certain je ne sais qua (perhaps her earthiness) that men find attractive.Her husband, Strelnikov, is shot trying to get back to her, and Kamerovsky risks his own position and his pride to rescue her.
But once the affair begins (from his boredom at Varykino - I probably spelled that wrong), Zhivago becomes dependent on her. Lara takes care of him.
Tonya is ethereal, and a bit of a child in need of protection, and, as noted above, Zhivago is not a particularly strong person. In addition, he had known Tonya from childhood. He may have felt a bit like an elder brother toward his wife.I always felt that he married Tonya to please his adoptive family (in particular the mother), and because Tonya was so in love with him.
In the end, Lara, again perhaps because she is conscience stricken for Yuri's wife and children, thinking perhaps that but for her he might have left Russia to be reunited with them, who names the daughter he will never know for Yuri's wife.
Of course Lara has no way of knowing that it is neither she nor Tonya that binds Yuri, but his attachment to Russia itself.

"..sure you won't change your mind? Why, is there something wrong with the one I have?"

[–] moewadle 11 years ago

I do not want to seem to be excusing lack-of-faithfulness to a spouse. However, part of this epic story I think the author was trying to show is that world events, out of the control of many individuals do things to their lives that change their lives dramatically. WW1 and the Revolution did all kinds of things that dramatically influenced Zhivago and Lara. Remember, when she was the librarian in the village and he told her he was not going to see her again, that he would return and be faithful to Tonya. It was just after that visit that he was kidnapped by the army during the civil war and was not able to return to Tonya. This all contributed to the poignancy of the story. More could be said but I think I have conveyed the idea.

[–] Noirdame79 9 years ago

*** Book Spoilers***

Remember that Lara was also technically still married to Pavel "Pasha" Antipov, although he abandoned her and their child and was living as Strelnikov. It is made much more clear in the book (the movie only hints at it) that Lara still loves Pasha, the man she married, her first love, and of course she would like to have him back. There is a passage after Strelinkov has released Zhivago where he reflects on the life he left behind. He was hoping, despite his new life, that could find his way back to Lara and Katya. And while Komorovsky has told Yuri that Strelnikov was captured and killed, after Zhivago sends Lara and Katya away with Komorovsky and is alone in Varykino, Pasha/Strelnikiov appears, looking for his wife and daughter. (This part was included in the 2002 miniseries). The two men have a long talk and reflect on their experiences and their mutual love for Lara. Zhivago asks him, "Do you have any idea how much she loved you?" It's a very touching and heartbreaking sequence. After Yuri goes to bed, Pasha kills himself. Although Lara does not see Yuri again (and is completely unaware that he was trying to catch up with her when he died), she does not believe that Pasha is dead, until Yevgraf confirms it.

And Yuri's friend Misha (who is not in the movie) is in love with Tonya but out of respect for Yuri and Tonya he does not act on his feelings and remains a confidante and friend to both.

So you could say that many lives are entangled, and both Yuri and Lara despite the deep bond and love they share, also have other loves.

Yuri did not leave Tonya of his own free will; he was forced to. Pasha left Lara, allowed her to believe that he may have been killed in action, and after his dreadful and horrible reign as Strelinkov, he wanted to get back to her but came to that realization too late. Yuri saw Lara and tried to reach her but died before that could happen; Lara searches for her daughter with Yuri, and then vanishes. So it's also about fate and circumstance. Yes, Yuri Zhivago loved both Lara and Tonya, just as Lara loved both Yuri and Pasha.