.......they had known for TEN DAYS, I'd be mighty angry no matter what either party's skin color was.
shareAnd the fact he is so much older than her ... as well as not really knowing each other. Even my sis knew her future husband for a month then they waited a year to get married. I know it's not like that for everyone but there is a bunch of things to stand back and say "hmmm" about.
shareAs parent you would be right to be concerned, I'm not sure I'd be angry but definately concerned and upset.
To each his own though. I know couples that dated for years and got married and it didn't last even 2 years. Others met and had a whirlwind romance and have been together for 20+ years. That's how attraction and love work.
I wouldn't.
I would if the chosen guy turned out to be a complete twit !
My class had this discussion in school (in the 70s). Several said they would be disowned. Personally, I think if I was REALLY in love, she'd be okay (sort of), but Dad would hit the roof.
As for the ten days? It happens. Some people DO fall in love that quickly. My cousin knew who she was going to marry the minute she saw him at the age of eight. They had a very long and successful marriage.
There are always exceptions. My sister met and was engaged to my brother-in-law in 7 days. They now have four kids and have been together almost 20 years.
shareTo me, the biggest issue is the 14-year-age difference and their difference in maturity level and life experience. She's right out of college. He's a doctor, almost 40, and a widower.
That alone would be the biggest reason I would encourage them to date a while. Joey said, "Why wait? We aren't going to change our minds." But on the contrary, what's the rush? If they are planning to spend their lives together why not slowly plan a wedding, spend some serious time together?
I think this would be one of those rare cases where she should trust her parents' wisdom and life experience and just wait.
And when was the last time he was ever with a 23-year-old white girl? You'd think that even if Dr. Prentice's instinct was without doubt about knowing she is the right woman, he would still want to put her parents' minds at ease and agree to only date her for a while. Because at 37, he understands their differences maturity and life experience-wise too, even if she doesn't.
Those issues in themselves would be enough. And then there is the race difference in a very racist time.
As somebody else said in a post about this flick, somebody like Audrey Hepburn should have been cast as the love interest of Poitier, as Hepburn was 40 herself and in the same age range as Poitier.
shareI don't understand why the filmmakers wanted the couple to have known each other for only ten days. Were they trying to make some point by that, or was it just something to give the parents an excuse to raise objections? But keep in mind the era when this film was made. "Well, it is just a Hollywood movie, and that's how they are, y'know..." I've seen so many from the '30s, '40s, '50s and '60s in which the decision to get married seems to happen at the drop of a hat, and you want to say to the couple in question, "Are you kidding? You two are from different worlds and are practically strangers!"
The same could be said about the age gap-- the differences in maturity and experience, as well the dissimilarities in cultural background that accumulate over the course of almost a generation (although, admittedly, those touchstones are changing a lot faster than they did 50 years ago). Movies tended to gloss over such things: "Love conquers all... and if it doesn't with these two, you'll never know, unless we put out a sequel!" Watch enough old movies and you'll see plenty of 40- or 50-year-old men romancing 25- or even 20-year-old women, to the point where it starts to seem comical. (Middle-aged male movie executive's fantasy? Middle-aged male movie star trying to pretend he's still a young leading man? I mean, I'm a middle-aged guy, and, sure, I'd love to be paired off with a beautiful 25-year-old, but, seriously, come on...)
Great post. I thought it was strange that the only issue the parents (of both Joey and John) had was the race issue. The movie was just on, and I saw nobody raising the point about them only knowing each other 10 days, the age difference, the fact that Joey has apparently only dated one other man, plus the points you brought up.
I think the wisest move that the parents could have made was to ask Joey and John to take their time before rushing into marriage. Get to know each other, spend more quality time together. Then see how it is after say 6 months, how they feel.
I think that part of the plot was set up to make the Big Surprise more believable.
My daughter never asked our opinion of her husband to be, but I was glad she had the sense to wait a few years to commit to marriage to him.