MovieChat Forums > Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967) Discussion > The real issue should be.....

The real issue should be.....

posted 19 years ago by yztherumgone21
16 replies | jump to latest

that these two want to get married after only knowing each other for TEN DAYS!!! you can't do that. My mother was telling me that when she first watched it (when it was first released) she was all gung ho for the kids cnquering the race issue (we're super liberal) but now when she watches it, because times have changed, she see's the real issue as being the same that i thought (i'm 18) when i saw it two years ago, IT'S CRAAAAAAAAAZY TO MARRY SOMEONE AFTER TEN DAYS YOU DON'T KNOW SH*T ABOUT THEM!!!

[–] AvantGardener 19 years ago

It's amusing that while the film strongly tackles the interracial relations social injustice, it frequently contributes to gender roles and generalizations.

Michael

[–] luv0817 19 years ago

I think it added to the romance of the film. My grandparents only met once and then "dated" through letter until they were married and they've been married 60 years. Plus, in Pride and Prejudice doesn't Charlotte Lucas says "It's better to know as little about the person before marrying"?.. okay, bad example.. I can't believe she married the dult.. but that's another story.
Isabelle and Alex (Fools Rush In)- from first passion to responsibility to respect and loss and ultimately to love. As Isabelle says "The heart wants what the heart wants"

[–] Jared-Fogle-Sucks 15 years ago

Back then, it was not uncommon for people to marry the first person of the opposite sex that they see.

[–] 15 years ago

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[–] Jared-Fogle-Sucks 15 years ago

Hawaii in the 1960s is much closer to Victorian England than it is to America 2009. Progress does not proceed in a "linear" fashion, but in spurts.

Remember, back in 2003, most computers still had floppy disk drives, and few had were laptops, few desktops were flat screen monitors.

[–] Corner_House_guest 15 years ago

A great movie about people who marry in haste is "Under the Clock". Wartime marriages were like that. There was no sense in hanging around if you might be bombed by the Luftwaffe or drafted into the military.
Even post war, one guy I know slightly met his wife at university, proposed after a week, never mind ten days. They were together fifty-two years before she died.

What about the parents? Their only child is going to live 6000 miles away in Switzerland, how many times will they see her and any grandchildren before they kick the bucket?

[–] amazon423 15 years ago

I worked with a man who met and married his wife after a week and so far they have 45 years in. He told me about someone else who did the same thing and still together. If you connect you connect otherwise no amount of dating will help the relationship. Although some people have short circuits when it comes to connecting with the right person and having a sense of commitment to each other. As far as how far apart parents and children live this was in the '60's. Plane travel was in full swing and 747s were about to hit the airways to make travel even easier and more comfortable.

[–] Corner_House_guest 15 years ago

In the 1960's that would have been ten or eleven hours in the air, plus at least one change of plane.

[–] marielapenn 14 years ago

i always thought this was the real issue too. i mean, come on, it's crazy to marry ANYONE you just met ten days ago, i don't care if he really is the most upright citizen in the entire world

you can't possibly know anything real about this person's true nature after only 10 days. marriage is (ideally) forever, how are you supposed to know if you can even live together? people didn't really commonly do stuff like that in the 60s did they? even a number of months gives you SOME better amount of time

[–] 14 years ago

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[–] smith-684 13 years ago

Hell I lived with someone two years before I realized what an a_______ he was! I do know people who married in haste and did NOT live to regret it. What I keep seeing is people get married, after huge expensive weddings, and the marriage lasts a year or two.

[–] lroy77 14 years ago

But if even if John and Joanna didn't know each other....if they FAMILIES had known each other, through church or whatever, why not?

[–] akrisluvskev 13 years ago

The real issue should be the pure stupidity of Joey, she's annoying, immature, unrealistic and doesn't seem the type that a man of is distinction would really want.

[–] pol96-1 13 years ago

yztherumgone21, (the OP)

If one person is honest and open with another about themself, rather than trying to pull the wool over people's eyes or make out they’re something they’re not, then it really doesn't take more than a few hours/days to tell another person all the things you believe in, have done and would like to do.

If people can’t be honest and open about themselves then it’s usually because there’s something they’re embarrassed about or ashamed of which they don’t want anyone else to know. So even if a couple were together for let’s say 5 years before getting married there’d still be that secret that one person didn’t want to be revealed.

If we’re upfront from the start, with nothing to hide and no pretence then 10 days is ample to know your own mind about whether you’d like to get married or not.

The OP sounds indecisive, secretive and scared of commitment.

[–] urgeking 9 years ago

If one person is honest and open with another about themself, rather than trying to pull the wool over people's eyes or make out they're something they're not, then it really doesn't take more than a few hours/days to tell another person all the things you believe in, have done and would like to do...

That's assuming you already KNOW all those things about yourself and are able to articulate them clearly (to yourself, and to the other person), with no delusions or illusions. Need I add, there's no guarantee of THAT! To some extent we won't realize exactly who we are and where we would stand in certain situations until those situations occur, well into the relationship. Meanwhile, there are all of the everyday quirks and habits that we may not even realize we have, until we've lived with this other person for a while and they start having to deal with our complexities. We may be the 'smartest' species around, but that doesn't mean we're tremendously perceptive about a lot of things, especially about ourselves.

If we're upfront from the start, with nothing to hide and no pretence then 10 days is ample to know your own mind about whether you'd like to get married or not.

Ten days may be plenty of time to decide whether you'd LIKE to-- or it may not be nearly enough, depending on the particular person. But to be adequately prepared to actually begin the marriage after only ten days, is quite another matter.

[–] 9 years ago

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