The missed opportunity that is the opening

My Bloody Valentine is a quintessential, all-time great slasher.

The folksy, Gordon Lightfoot-sounding song that plays over the credits, "The Ballad of Harry Warden", was an absolutely BRILLIANT touch (sung by John McDermott, a renowned Canadian tenor.)

But let's talk about the other bookend. They were on the right track with the prologue. Granted, they probably could have mustered up something a bit more creative, but what they went with suffices. Now ponder my changes:

Remove the introductions; let it play unmolested. The girl starts to realize that something isn't right, when she flees panic-stricken into the mines. We're with her this whole time, scrabbling for a glimmer of light in the dank, dark corridors. All we hear is her breathing. We begin to hear other noises to, at first dim and then progressively more audible. Her breathing stops and suddenly she's basked in light, where the gleaming slash of a pick-axe cuts to the introductions.

The lettering is crimson red. It's set against a black background. The whole thing is given a scratchy, old-time movie look, with the names flickering like they would on a primitive projector. And the kicker: "Roses Are Red [My Love]", by Bobby Vinton, playing over it.

Am I a genius or what? You mean to tell me these people couldn't have put their minds together and come up with something like that? My Bloody Valentine is the seminal slasher (or even movie, for that matter) of its holiday, and to not have Vinton accompany it is a crime. If you've seen An American Werewolf in London (from the same year), you know how inspired those opening credits are. The nostalgic, wistful notes of Vinton's "Blue Moon" sway over the hazy, idyllic shots of the moors. It's one of the best openings ever. A few years later, David Lynch would use "Blue Velvet" in his movie of the same name, to almost equally ironic effect. This was the big opportunity to put his mega-hit to ideal use. Scorsese could have found something else for Goodfellas.

Here's the song, for anybody whose music knowledge is limited to what's played on the radio nowadays: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhRO7KiWyG4

My proposed revisions would have resulted in something for the ages. Who's with me?

"...if that was off, I'd be whoopin' your ass up and down this street." ~ an irate Tarantino