Leaked CW memo

Has anyone else seen the leaked memo?

CW INTERNAL MEMO

+++EXECUTIVE LEVEL ONLY+++

+++NOT FOR PUBLIC DISTRIBUTION+++

From the desk of Buddy Ackerman, Chief Development Executive

Subject: Beauty and the Beast (2012)

OK people, the pilot tested THROUGH THE ROOF and we are now going to series. I want ALL of you to get 200% behind this show as this could be bigger than "Supernatural" and "Smallville" put together. I have heard some rumblings that the show isn't "true to the original" - well who cares what a bunch of old fossils think? This is 2012, not 1812! We don't want to see a lion-faced freak who lives with bunch of ugly homeless people who wouldn't know what a Jimmy Choo was if one was planted in their faces! They may well have bought enough DVDs (Geez, haven't these guys heard of Blu?) to have brought the property to our attention, but - let's face it - they just haven't got the buying power of our core demographic. We've tried to keep them onside; we've given Ron Koslow a producer credit (don't worry - he's got no say in the way we're running the show) and have reached out to a few of the key personnel from the old show: Hamilton's a "maybe" for a cameo, Perlman's too expensive and we even tried one of the old producers/writers but apparently he's some big-shot author with an adaptation over with those bastards at HBO. Anyway, enough is enough - they don't like the way we're doing things, they can cry into their DVD collections.

Let's look at what we've got:

HOT female lead.
HOT male lead (so my secretary tells me, Buddy Ackerman don't swing that way).
The "Twilight" crowd will love the "cute but dangerous" factor, and we've added in a character from the original (Elliot Burch) to get that whole "love triangle" vibe the girls go wild for.
The comic book geeks will love Vincent's "Incredible Hulk" vibe.
Low start up costs - we're recycling a bunch of scripts from a cop show that we developed last year.

More marketing opportunities than any other show. These are just a few of those that are planned:
Vincent, the male lead, loves beer and WII - that's whatever beer company offers the most cash, and whichever games offer the most cash (and if Nintendo don't keep up the payments, we'll just go to Sony or Microsoft).
Elliot Burch will wear whatever designer clothes offer us the best terms, and we get a cut of the "Elliot Burch" ranges.
All the main characters will have Facebook and Twitter accounts. (Think captive audience and major data capture opps!)
In the original show, the two leads bonded over a bunch of books (I'm not making this up!). In our show, Vincent will be in an Emo band (chicks dig all that "sensitive" junk). We'll auction off slots to the record companies, and then release a soundtrack a couple of times a season. Plus, it saves us having to film anything expensive. Kerching!

1) May be entirely fabricated.
2) I'll be wanting a cut if they use any of my ideas.

No tears please, it's a waste of good suffering.