If Jim Varney was still alive...

Ernest Goes to The Mechanics
Ernest Goes Scuba Diving
Ernest Goes Back in Time
Ernest Goes to A Rennassiance Fair
Ernest Goes to The Post Office
Ernest Goes Direct To Video
Ernest Meets Chucky
Ernest Meets Pee-Wee (who would have won in a fight?)

God bless you, Jim Varney, and may you rest in peace.

_ _ _

"Why spend your life making someone else's dreams come true?"

-- Ed Wood, the movie

Ernest on Drugs
Ernest meets his parents
Ernest goes on a date
Ernest gets laid
Ernest rest in peace (we'll always miss u Bud!)

Ernest needs a kidney.

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Personally, I think he would have been perfect as Sheriff Andy Taylor in a remake of The Andy Griffith Show. I would have loved to see him as Andy and Harry Connick Jr. as Barney.

I know. Weird casting, but I thought it would be cool.

Ernest vs the Pope(from the Simpsons)
Ernest Goes Somewhere Cheap(Also the Simpsons, the Cape Feare episode: "Wow, Pooblic Liberrys. Let's stay here for a while, Vurn." "Hey, Vurn, help me get my head outta this toilet!")

Also,we could have Ernest becomes a Carny. (Jim Varney played a carny in a Simpsons episode as well.)

More of an afterthought: Ernest goes to Burger King(Kind of like and Ernest version of H&K go to White Castle)

We miss ya, Jim. KnowwhatImean?

"There's a time and a place for everything, and it called College!"

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1. ERNEST Joins the Circus(Ernest is mistaken as a hotdog vendor in a circus and winds up becoming a part of the traveling group when the ringleader takes a shine to him. He then gives Ernest a list of jobs to do, and Ernest amusingley fails everyone of them. Ernest insists his dream of being a trapezist needs to happen. He goes about trying to succeed, while at the same time being teased by the pros, and befriended by the freaks.)

2. ERNEST Goes to Sea(Ernest lands a job as a crewhand on a cruise ship, woos a female co-worker, uncovers a heist plot, and does his crazy antics to save the day.)

3. ERNEST Goes to Hell(A little extreme, but imagine the Devil accidentally mistaking Ernest's life profile with an evil man after Ernest gets hit by a car and has an out-of-body experience and goes to Hell. Upon his arrival, Ernest, scared out of hi wits, does his usual stuff to make Hades seem like a neverending laugh riot. All the doors of eternal suffering the Devil makes him endure winds up being afraid of Ernest's stupidity and spits him out. Ernest befriends a friendly tortured soul throughout his journey, while at the same time a number-crunching demon tries to convince the Devil he's made a mistake, and Ernest's girlfriend on Earth tries to keep the hospital from declaring Ernest legally dead. The Devil would be played by Jim Varney as well.)

4. ERNEST Down Under(Ernest gets an opportunity to go on an Australian Outback tour in the Northern Territory. With a group of travelers, Ernest woos a female tourist, but their guide is kidnapped by diamond thieves who believe the guide knows where some are buried. Ernest is then forced to take action by convincing the group that he has supernatural survival skills to lead them to civilization(even though he really doesn't). The group are thrusted into a wild, crazy adventure as they watch Ernest take on crocodiles, snakes, aborigines, poisonous insects, mountain cliffs, and other hazards. Pretty soon, Ernest gets wing to the guide's abduction and persuades his new lady friend and the tour to save him from these crooked bad guys.)



"Danger's my middle name. Mine's Cornelius. You tell anyone, I'll kill you"