"Trying is the first step toward failure."

I love anyone that can quote Simpsons.

"I'm gonna lose my job, just because I'm dangerously unqualified."

Sorry, Homer is just soooooooooooo quoteable:

Homer to Marge: "Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals.....except the weasels.."

Homer to Bart: "Bacon-up that sausage boy!!!"

Homer to no one in particular: "Just once, I'd like someone to call me 'sir', without adding 'you're making a scene'"..

OK, one from Superintendent Chalmers to Skinner: "you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham"

There's no need to murmur, ma'am. Here at Itchy and Scratchy Land, we're just as concerned with violence as you are. That's why we're always careful to show the consequences of deadly mayhem, so that we may educate as well as horrify.

When do you show the consequences? On TV, that mouse pulled out that cat's lungs and played them like a bagpipe, but in the next scene, the cat was breathing comfortably.

Just like in real life.

"Have the Rolling Stones killed."

Get back to work Stuart...

Quack!

Who dares interrupt my lime ricky!

Morris "Moe" Szyslak: "Don't eat nothin' for the next three days, 'cause I'm taking you out for a steak the size of a toilet seat!"

Mr Burns: "Men, there's a little crippled boy laying in that hospital that wants you to win this game. I know...because I crippled him myself to inspire you."

Milhouse: "Ehhh I hope they win, or else Mr Burns said he's coming back."