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I used to have so much saved, but that hard drive collapsed. I know our good friend Tacho had so much saved too.

arazi25 Holiday Compilation!
by ILNi 1 hour ago (Tue Dec 15 2009 14:41:49)
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UPDATED Tue Dec 15 2009 15:47:25
The following will be a eight part thread of arazi25's legendary threads:


THE SWAGGER..THE GLOW..how it shoulda been! (Fri Oct 3 2008 01:55:43)

SLIK-SHOOZ...The PARTY PART 1 (Posted: Mon Oct 6 2008 10:37:21)

SLIK-SHOOZ THE PARTY PART 2 (Posted: Wed Oct 8 2008 02:00:49)

SLIK-SHOOZ THE PARTY PART 3 (Posted: Thu Oct 9 2008 04:16:34)

PART 4...THE CONCLUSION??? Questions? (Posted: Fri Oct 10 2008 05:27:17)

THE ILLNESS OF SOCIETY..A SMALL VALLEY CHRISTMAS (Posted: Fri Dec 5 2008 09:44:08)

Small Valley Christmas part 2 (Posted: Sun Dec 7 2008 07:57:55)

SMALL VALLEY 3 (Posted: Tue Dec 9 2008 09:59:58)

THE SWAGGER..THE GLOW..how it shoulda been!
by ILNi 1 hour ago (Tue Dec 15 2009 14:42:56)
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UPDATED Tue Dec 15 2009 15:47:00
THE SWAGGER..THE GLOW..how it shoulda been!


by arazi25 (Fri Oct 3 2008 01:55:43)

Quite simply, Daniel couldn't score with Jessica cause he didn't have the SWAGGER the GLOW. Miyagi taught it..someone didn't follow up on it...Someone was dumb.

Until Bruce Leroy kicked Sho'nuf ASS, he was unsure, no coward but kind of trying to find himself...all the Karate Skills and good looks couldn't score him any pussy until he felt the GLOW..And that light-skinned dude shouldn't have had no problem...but he did. I couldn't believe that crap, but for the moment it was so.

When he found himself-- BAM! VANITY!!!!! No need for a sequel...cause he took what he knew and utilized it toward a better life....and numerous oppourtunities for more pussy!! and DISCO DANCING!

Jessica never came out of her panties for obvious reasons...But heres how a real man scores Jessica...a smart one at least. One that knows his talent!
This is how life for Daniel should have been.....

THE FOLLOWING IS A DEPICTION OF HOW A REAL MAN SHOULD HAVE TREATED JESSICA!



*Ok, Tomei village was poor, but if I'm fighting a fight to the Death with ANYONE I'm getting that sucker VIDEO TAPED...Damn, I know that you can get video equipment cheap in Asia right? So I video tape that "fight to the death" I then make numerous copies...Lots of CD DISKS..VHS tapes...mix-tapes whatever..Anything goes....just have it to remember

Also tape that Ice chopping stuff, and how I saved that girl hanging from that pole too..basically a highlight reel. Most importantly though the Death Fight!

I keep plenty of copies for myself of course, 'cause when I first meet Jessica that's the first thing I show her...

"Yeah, me and my dawg Miyagi just came back from Okinawa..I had a fight to the death with some chump named Chozen Taguchi...It was cool..I beat the brakes off that wanna-be oriental looking PUNK. "Larry Merchant and Jim Lampley was there too.....If I didn't honk Chozen nose I win by split decision anyway." "Tommy Hearns and Hagler was there too"

"Come sit on the couch...get comfortable baby....make sure you take your shoes off in the house.... Sit on my lap...Damn, Your booty soft!"

"OH, you think this is funny?, Don't believe me?...Ok I got the tape"

"Mr. Miyagi, please plug up the VCR and put the Okinawa tape in...While you up fix us some of that herbal tea, and warm up some of them pizza rolls in the microwave."

--What girl wouldn't be impressed?? You got priceless footage of a fight to the death that you were a part of. Instant street cred. Also pop in the All-Valley Tournament for bonus points.

"See how I kick Johnny ass on one damn leg...I tore my ACL and Lateral Meniscus and I still won!!!! They couldn't stop me..."

"Oh who that black dude is??? Yeah thats Lamar Latrell...he lost in the first round!"

"Lemme, get you some more of them pizza rolls then after I could show you some Kama Sutra massage therapy that Miaygi taught me...Oh its wild."

After you show her the tapes and give her that massage. You're in!

The next day, make it be all about Jessica...take her out to the Early Brunch at the Orient Express...Spare no expense, this ain't no cereal breakfast.

Then go out for a romantic walk on the beach! Not just any beach either! The same beach where you first met ALI...Only this time it none of that MLS soccer nonsense.

Ride her around THE HILLS in that yellow Miyagi-Mobile Chevy! Maybe in ALI's old neighborhood...maybe not! Who needs grudges...besides Ali was good to you and you got Jessica now!

Pop in the Smokey Robinson cassete and light a blunt!!! LIE about the Halloween Dance where you and Miyagi and Spider Man got in a big gang fight...Only this time you won!

Tell her that you know construction and could build her a beautiful Oriental style mansion of her dreams....Somewhere in Oakland. Tell her you'll be her personal Al Davis..only a bigger Dick!

Kiss her on the lips and whisper in her ear...Tell her you want her to have 2 kids with Miyagi being the godfather!

By now she's putty in your hands...

Tell her how you gonna break your foot off in Barnes ass in that tournament just for her..and afterwards how you gonna go sack-deep in that pussy..all goddamn night. Be firm about your intentions...cause she really feelin' you!

Mike Barnes ain't nowhere in sight..and Who's Mike Barnes??? Oh yeah, the guy you met who challenged you to defend your trophy! It was no trouble! He was pleasant. He expected you to resist. but to his surprise you didn't. He just walked away dumbfounded.

WHY??????

Because you signed the papers and didn't make him wait! You accepted the challenge. Neutralized all the rage.

Didn't need Miyagi's approval 'cause you a grown man and he taught you well! You didn't run from a challenge! Its on! You have the SWAGGER..THE GLOW!

Miyagi say ok Daniel handle you business....I taught you well. I'll send you a case of that Miracle powder too...Cause we share it...not hide it from each other! Yukie send you a new Silk Karate jersey also! Kumiko might come too!

Only gonna fight one match anyway! No sweat! And you don't need KATA to do it!
You are a machine! Gonna be a greasy fast Italian Tank like Mickey say!

The tournament goes as planned, and you kick ass. Mama showed up with Uncle Louie who made a miraculous recovery...Kumiko indeed shows up...she got a little "dance" Club Long Beach she want you to check out...Miyagi got the number for you so Jessica don't get jealous... Its all good now! Life is perfect!

After the tournament, maybe you get a real job! Move out on your own.
Even go to COLLEGE maybe?

You and Miyagi are still friends but you can stand on your own. The relationship will grow because you aren't in his face 24-7....


This is how it all should have been...but you have the travesty that is life in the Bonzai Tree shop..and a travesty it is.

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by mamabearppl (Fri Oct 3 2008 03:55:38)

arazi, you write some of the funniest *beep* I ever read. I love it when I sit here with my morning coffee and find you've written something new. Thank you for a good morning and your usual spot-on observations.

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by maixiu (Fri Oct 3 2008 13:31:44)

Good god. I'm not worthy of reading your work, arazi. That was seriously the funniest s**t posted here in a long, long time. And in the words of Homer Simpson, "It's funny 'cause it's true!"

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by mamabearppl (Fri Oct 3 2008 14:22:23)

My favorite part was when he orders Miyagi to get the herbal tea and pizza rolls. Can you just see ole Miyagi fetching and carrying?
Honored!

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by arazi25 (Fri Oct 3 2008 14:58:20)

Once again I am honored to contribute to the best board on IMBD.

I have a home here. I feel welcome to be around superstars. No one here seems to get offended, people laugh and take this stuff at face value. On other sites folks get truly offended when you take the shine off their heroes.

Scary thing is, I do all this without the benefit of any drugs! Isn't that amazing? I wanna know what I could do on acid!

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by bkoursarys-1 (Fri Oct 3 2008 17:08:00)

message for arazi25

Im with the others dude. A hilarious but truly honest and INSIGHTFUL assessment of how Larusso (not lapusso) life should have been. the stuff u wrote about how he should have shown Jessica the fight to the death, the mesaage, building the ORIENTAL STYLE mansion, his adventures with his 'homie' Miyagi and the way he shouldve dealt with barnes almost killed me with laughter. How much of a better film it would have made if it ended up something like you wrote. he really would be a hero...a mans man! someone your inspired by. However the reality is different. LaPusso isnt a mans man. He a virgin, *beep* wuss. but im glad it didnt work out like that...otherwise we wouldnt be having all this fun writing about LaPusso and disecting every pathetic move he makes and making fun out of it.

also i echo what some of the other guys have said. this board is great because everyone has common ground - we have fun ripping the piss out of that embarressment of the so called 'main character' and no one gets offended by it. a far cry from the Cocktail board where people have heart attacks because i wrote derogatory but highly deserved and justifiable comments on Tom Cruise and Elizabeth Shue. also because we have identified that just because LaPusso was the main character doesnt mean that he is exempt from critacism.

Damn the LaPusso slagging never gets old!

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by Shield24 (Sat Oct 4 2008 05:10:22)

"On other sites folks get truly offended when you take the shine off their heroes."

As do we, sir. NOBODY disrespects Mr. Terry Silver and gets away with it...


"I love it when he pounds him"- Terry Silver, President, DynaTox Industries
IN SEARCH OF SIBERIAN

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by maixiu (Sat Oct 4 2008 07:06:34)

NOBODY disrespects Mr. Terry Silver and gets away with it...

Revenge? Of course you want revenge! Who wouldn't? And I'm gonna get it for you.

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by mamabearppl (Sat Oct 4 2008 16:12:50)

When people disrespect Mr. Terry Silver, I'm afraid it reflects more on the disrespecter than the astounding Mr. Terry Silver. They disrespect out of intimidation, insecurity, jealousy and general all-around unworthiness. Mr. Terry Silver is an exceptional example of our species, and intimidates on many levels:

1. Incredible, luscious good looks. Lesser mortals of the male persuasion may notice that Mr. Terry Silver can reduce most any member of the female sex to helpless quivering desire with just a quick flash of his brilliant smile.. That's all it takes! And, of course, the hot tub scenes (have I ever mentioned the hot tub scenes?)are damn near coma inducing. An insecure guy who is not comfortable with himself or his assets or lack thereof will surely be tempted to uncharitable comments about Mr. Terry Silver. You can tell these guys right away because they will resort to petty observations about his ascot (which I think looks MARVelous) or they will refer to his gorgeous smile as sneaky or slick. (BU11$HIT!!!)

2. His fabulous wealth. Those of them who know deep down inside that they could have done better in this world, but were afraid to take chances, work hard and most importantly, give back to the community will make belittling remarks to the effect that he is "crooked." They are so intimidated by his financial prowess they will even jeer at his inspiring speech about honesty, compassion and fair play. They will claim, of all the nutty things, that his speech was "insincere." That he fixed the tournament, yada yada. These are the guys who show up late to their jobs at McDonald's and then wonder why their bosses can't stand them.

3. His selective, exquisite taste for the finer things in life. These guys who cannot be satisfied with what they have will tend to criticise his "drinking habits," or jump on the fact that Mr. Terry Silver knows how to enjoy the occasional expensive cigar. And the ascot again, always carping on the ascot, these guys. They will claim that Mr. Terry Silver was flawed. MR. TERRY SILVER WAS NOT FLAWED!

4. There are even guys who envy Mr. Terry Silver his karate abilities. You can tell these guys by the fact that they crow over Miya-Gay's "victory" at the dojo. They make a big to-do over the fact that the can of paint fell on Mr. Terry Silver's lovely hair. They consistently fail to distinguish between defeat, and the massive effort at self-control exercised by Mr. Terry Silver as he realized it was more honorable to save it up for the tournament. Guys like this couldn't be expected to know that the study of karate improves one's self control, having never gotten off the couch in their lives.

In short, you can always tell the inferior kind of guy who is going to lash out at Mr. Terry Silver. In fact, now that I think of it, guys like this were probably the reason Karate Kid III was made, to give these kind of guys a "hero" they can root for. Someone even more pathetic than them, so they can feel morally superior while they root for Whineielle. These are the guys whose tiny little hearts swell with vicarious joy as our flaccid boy hero cries, "We did it Mr. Miyagi, we did it!" at the end of his pathetic lucky win. This may be the exact reason why this movie has the ridiculous slant that it does. Mr. Terry Silver haters almost always wind up being LaWusso lovers.

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by Canhoto (Sun Oct 5 2008 08:46:15)

“mamabear”, a long response can be found on the “Terry Silver was Flawed” thread, where your above rambling belongs but cowardly self couldn’t bear to post so instead decided to slip in some cheapshots here. More importantly, I don’t want to steal Arazi’s thunder on a brilliant original post and go derailing once again on the Kai’s theme of choice, missing the opportunity to build on the pizza rolls.

You missed the entire point of what Shield and Maixiu were trying to get across – insinuating that the hero of the story was Silver and not LaPuto. That’s why it was so funny.. And Arazi, the difference on this board is that nobody in their right mind can root for Danielle (the movie’s grossly off-mark intended hero) because the guy is a complete goof and has no hero traits whatsoever.

That was some hilarious $hit up there btw. After the pizza rolls, Danielle could also have had Miyagi break the tops off the bottles to show what a badass oddjob sidekick he had, and then after the DVD, pop in the “desire” song from the original soundtrack, slide the pagoda doors closed, and rub her back down with the foot remedy, mixing in a little scented oil.

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by Shield24 (Sun Oct 5 2008 08:51:35)

No insinuation here, sir. Mr. Silver is, was, and always will be the hero of this movie.

NOW SING HAPPY SONG HAHAHAHAHA!!!

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by maixiu (Sun Oct 5 2008 09:08:40)

Canhoto, if you wish to revive this subject, that of your hero -- the negligent and predatory Miyagi -- then do indulge us with your thoughts on that man's refusal to train, inform, and otherwise support Daniel-san, his pupil and confidant, when that young lad was confronted by the Cobra Kai. How can you account for Miyagi's steadfast refusal to assist his young charge in his time of need? He was not merely content to withhold his backing but inclined to mock his young friend in the presence of his one female acquaintance. This is the man you hold up as virtuous, as a representative of all that is good?

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by SuperOtaku (Mon Oct 6 2008 21:35:25)

No kidding, Max...Miyagi holds his knowledge above Daniel's head so much throughout the entire series. Like not teaching him how to punch until 20 minutes before the ending of the first KK. AND the stuff with the sweep in KK3. The more I think of it, the more contemptously I begin to see Miyagi "the hero". He dupes Daniel into supporting his "dream" in the bonsai store, AND he almost gets him killed by a vendetta that Daniel had nothing to do with at all in Okinawa. THESE are not the actions of a hero. Would Miyagi have even run away if he were so heroic? Do not bring in to play his "military service" which probably consisted of slinging hash to the REAL soldiers in the mess hall.

SLIK-SHOOZ...The PARTY PART 1
by ILNi 1 hour ago (Tue Dec 15 2009 14:48:53)
Edit Reply
UPDATED Tue Dec 15 2009 15:48:19
SLIK-SHOOZ...The PARTY PART 1


by arazi25 (Mon Oct 6 2008 10:37:21)

slikshooz,

You wanted the follow up, here it is. I made this on a new thread cause I didn't want this to get buried..

That Terry Silver website was genius and provided the inspiration.

THE PARTY!

Ok, now clearly this was one party that was definently pre-planned ahead of time..they even started it that friday night with the notion of going all the way till monday morning.. However, the real good stuff was definently reserved for post tournament. Why let it all go to waste? The food, the entertainers, the alcohol. Why cancel? Barnes didn't seal it but so what? He uninvited himself...enough said.

Theres gonna be one hell of a party to be had anyway. 99% of the party goers didn't give a damn about the ending anyway. "Who's Daniel? oh that guy Elton John sang about"...I'm just as *beep*-ing blind as that bastard" said Steveland Wonder one of the entertainers ALREADY performing there.

Kreese and Silver pull up...composed and cool, their rage has tempered by customary post tournament blow-jobs... Who set this up? None other than Rick James who sent them over!

Here's Rick giving Silver a call on the cell..

"Hey Terry baby, I sent you some hoes to cheer you up...Now get your white ass over here and come party us! tell Barnes to suck my nutsak! and Hell with a tournament...i'm gettin high!"

See life is indeed getting better...hell it is better! Why? despite the t-shirt loss they had other ventures.. All those t-shirts those ungrateful folks threw back were donated to a homeless fund!

Mr.Silver, the brilliant business man had brokered a Pay Per View deal with HBO an TVKO productions for the broadcast. Also the exclusive DVD rights too.
So while Daniel gets a plastic trophy, Silver gets what truly matters...the green benjamins.

So again, here's Kreese and Silver heartened and enlightened at the raucous celebration taking place and by the warm welcome by AL DAVIS. He's been a loyal student of Quicksilver since its fertile beginning in the early 80's. He has a word of advice!

" NEVERMIND punishing that worm....JUST WIN BABY!" That's all you had to do!"

"Anyways, Mr.Silver, the Raiders organazation and the NFL has decided to match your donation to the toys for tots fund of greater Los Angeles... You are a wonderful man, Silver...now lets go enjoy those booties and breast-ta-sesses"

Prince and the Revolution performs "Purple Rain" specially dedicated to Sensai Kreese and all his accomplishments...OH Dammit Here comes KREESE! didn't know he knew air gutar! WOW...Kreese has temporarily ditched the conservative threads for something else!

ASS-LESS black leather Chaps!!!!! Who knew this?

Seems like somewhere along the way young Prince Rogers Nelson and Kreese had struck a friendship! This party can only get better! It does!


Who is that pulling up in that stretch limo? Its Miyagi he's rented a LIMO for the occasion! Miyagi is dressed in his best threads..complete with gator-shoes!

Ok now Silver is clearly pissed and rearing for battle...Kreese still

I remember coming to this board in 2008. First thread I saw was called, "Fat Daniel" and I was in tears and immediately hooked. Rumor was there was some thread called, "KK3 Theme Park".