MovieChat Forums > Muriel's Wedding (1995) Discussion > So, so pathetic.

So, so pathetic.

posted 10 years ago by Dollhouse_89
10 replies | jump to latest

Muriel!

The way she behaves during the wedding. Ugh. All of that ferocious smiling and gloating because she was "getting married". She had been living in a world of delusion for years, though. What, with the "friends" she had, the tremendous inferiority complex, and idealizing marriage as some escape as though it was the one and only thing to change her life and make her happy. It's like she was so obsessed with the status that comes from being married and so consumed by self-doubt that she genuinely didn't grasp the fact that it was an arranged marriage SHE sought out with a man that doesn't even LIKE her. What did she think was going to happen later with this guy who can't even stomach her? The brain works miraculously. I mean any logic that contradicts her fantasy is completely annihilated.

/start rant
I know women kind of like this, though. They want a boyfriend or husband just because of what kind of image it would project to others. "Someone wants to be with me. I'm worth something". Meanwhile no one actually cares and the guy treats them awfully. Cheating, using all of their money, disrespectful, etc. But they're in a relationship! which is all that matters at the end of the day, right? My older sister is friends with a woman who told an acquaintance that she was engaged to a guy when they had never even dated. Slept together a few times but he hadn't spoken to her in several months. She lied, why? Because she thought it made her look a certain way and she was sure she wouldn't be found out because she told this to someone she barely sees. Well it got back to my sister since the world is so small. They haven't talked about it and my sister hasn't told anyone (besides me) but she told that psychotic lie to someone she's not even close to in order to seem successful and someone actually close to her now sees her as pathetic. She begged the guy to help her get pregnant to which he stupidly agreed and now there's a kid out there who didn't ask to be here with an absentee father and a *beep* mother all due to her quest for self-worth and a connection with this guy who literally hates her.
/rant over

Muriel never tried to change anything for herself. She expects the world but does nothing to make it happen. I understand with her upbringing. I mean with a father like that and a weak mother I can imagine it's hard to have any motivation or develop any sense of "I can".

It was cringe-worthy, though. So horrible to watch her cheesing throughout that wedding ceremony and him looking like he was well overdue for a diaper change.

With all of that being said, this is one of my absolute favorite movies.

Ever.

[–] rmoriarty97 10 years ago

How can you say Muriel never did anything to change things for herself? That was the whole premise of the movie! It may have started out haphazardly with thieving for the holiday and her goal to get married was a bit dodgy, but she achieved a lot by the end of the film- she found out who she was and what she wanted, broke free of her family and found a life for herself, turning into a much better person but a person who could still put up the boundaries to look after herself.

[–] Dollhouse_89 9 years ago

rmoriarty97 you replied a while ago but...

I wasn't clear. I realize that she began to see that she had to change things by the end of the film. She decided she had to grow a backbone and accept love from people who will give it to her and yadda yadda. Up until that point was when her behavior was just annoying. I would go from feeling bad for her to not all throughout the film. In the end I do like and care about the character.

[–] rmoriarty97 10 years ago

[–] carolina_1992 9 years ago

Wow wow wait: I agree with most of what you way, but the weak mother? Sorry but a woman who can stomach such behavior from EVERYONE around her for so long is anything else but weak! Her mother gives her entire life to care for a husband who doesn't care about his family, and kids who are too lazy to get off their as*es or even give her a hand. She's not happy, but she stays and she tries to fight for her marriage. She knows her husband is having an affair, but she turns a blind eye for the sake of her family. Now, I'm not saying a woman should stay with a husband who's cheating on her (on the contrary, there is no excuse in the world for cheating and it's their own fault if their partner gets out of a marriage, the cheater should have stuck to the vow of being faithful to their partner, married or not), but nowadays people divorce eachother for stupid reasons. Or don't take their vows seriously at all. But the mom in this film still acts like the good, sweet wife and mother despite all the horrible things she has to put up with. Are women only "strong" if they have tough management jobs requiring them to have their kids basically raised by daycare teachers and their husbands cleaning and cooking? Or if they are on welfare raising 7 different kids from 7 different men? If they are promiscuous chicks who live to go clubbing and sleep with 10 different men in an hour? Or perhaps if they nag their husband's head 24/7 a day, divorce him for some bogus reason and sleep with a guy 20 years younger than themselves only to function as his living wallet in exchange for some monkey business? Is that what defines a "strong" woman? If that's true then please let me be weak.

The mother in this film reminded me of my own (perhaps I am less objective because of that)- My mother was treated the same way by my father and worse. My father kicked us out of our home the moment he found a new *beep* to cook his dinner and do his laundry (Ironically she's the same type in looks and personality as Deidre in the film). Luckily, my mother is doing great now (no new man yet after 5 years but she's enjoying her single life), and I will not walk past her on my wedding, in august this year. She will be standing near me as my husband's best woman! And dance with me. Daddy dear ain't invited.

[–] Dollhouse_89 9 years ago

Are women only "strong" if they have tough management jobs requiring them to have their kids basically raised by daycare teachers and their husbands cleaning and cooking? Or if they are on welfare raising 7 different kids from 7 different men? If they are promiscuous chicks who live to go clubbing and sleep with 10 different men in an hour? Or perhaps if they nag their husband's head 24/7 a day, divorce him for some bogus reason and sleep with a guy 20 years younger than themselves only to function as his living wallet in exchange for some monkey business? Is that what defines a "strong" woman?

I definitely didn't say or imply any of that.

[–] Sugarminx 9 years ago

Carolina I loved your response.

We now seem to live in a world where different sorts of things are valued and prized. Tough-talking, loud-mouthed, pushy, arrogant, "it's all about MEEEE" sorts of people are seen as strong and deserving of respect.

Nu-uh. Not in my book. I LOATHE that type. Give me a quiet achiever any day of the week.

Sorry but a woman who can stomach such behavior from EVERYONE around her for so long is anything else but weak! Her mother gives her entire life to care for a husband who doesn't care about his family, and kids who are too lazy to get off their as*es or even give her a hand. She's not happy, but she stays and she tries to fight for her marriage

Yes there is an incredible strength required to do this. To know you're being brow-beaten and still hang in there. To see yourself being passed over time and again and not whine about it endlessly, but try to put a smile on your face and get on with things. I'd rather spend an hour with an unassuming, gentle person than an over-bearing, 'the world owes me' type.

I don't necesarily advocate extreme selflessness, but I understand and can admire it.

So put some spice in my sauce, honey in my tea, an ace up my sleeve and a slinkyplanb

[–] riverwalk 9 years ago

''My father kicked us out of our home the moment he found a new *beep* to cook his dinner and do his laundry (Ironically she's the same type in looks and personality as Deidre in the film).''

not really an example of irony

[–] velcronewsletter 9 years ago

er no, dollhouse didn't say that. nor is being a doormat, admirable

[–] Valerie_Vance 9 years ago

I think that's why the film works, though. She's a flawed character and does questionable things on numerous accounts throughout the film, but she's a human being and makes mistakes.

It's an ordinary high school day. Except that it's not.

[–] Isau 8 years ago

You're really not supposed to sympathize with Muriel during that portion of the movie.

Basically, in fiction, the possibility of death is always overhanging the plot (or at least it should be, in a plot with any tension). The "death" doesn't have to be literal. It can be the death of a dream, or of a friendship, or of standards. That's what it means here--Muriel is losing herself, she's close to "death" in the eyes of Rhonda and the audience. The plot crisis question at this point is, "Will she survive?"

I really love this portion of the movie. Toni Collette really makes Muriel unlikable and selfish during these scenes (as the script calls for), and Rachel Griffiths takes over as the heroine for a period of time. But one of the best gems of this segment, to me, is a surprise bit of humanity from Tania when she talks to Rhonda in the church and "thanks" her for telling her about Chook's affair. It's a vieled threat but also shows how vulnerable and hurt she is. It's a tiny detail, but IMO shows a completely other side of the character with just a few lines. It also wouldn't have worked at all if Muriel hadn't morphed into such a villain temporarily.