Gad!

I see that the warped sense of history these Irish johnnies possess is alive and well, dammit! They think leaving the United Kingdom was actually a good idea! Are they all bloody mad?! In 1800 the British graciously allowed Ireland into the Act of Union with the rest of Great Britain thus giving the Irish something to be proud of for once- to be British, doncha know, even if in their case it was at the very bally bottom, and they were only fit to be servants, gardeners and of course, cannon fodder. Rather smelly cannon fodder at that. Indeed it was my duty and a great pleasure incidentally to order so many off them over the top to their deaths at the Somme and in the various battles in WW2. Gallant lads all! Bloody stupid but gallant. About a hundred of them died on Armistice day after ceasefire because my Batman forgot to to wind my bally watch. Whoops! War was over for six hours when I was served tea and biscuits I thought "oh, bugger" before dipping my chocolate digestives in my steaming mug of PG! Waste not, want not, eh! Realised then that sending them on that suicide mission to get a bottle of vintage port from the Jerry officers mess was probably a bad idea really. Should have sent 'em the day before...

It is said that the civilised man seeks out good and intelligent company so that by learned discourse he may rise above the savage and closer to God…Personally, however, I like to start the day with a blithering idiot to remind me I’m best.