MovieChat Forums > Midsomer Murders (1998) Discussion > How Tom Barnaby Treated His Wife, Joyce

How Tom Barnaby Treated His Wife, Joyce

posted 8 years ago by vtorina
15 replies | jump to latest

Early on I noticed or felt that Joyce was portrayed as a nincompoop: she was this flighty, dingy housewife who tried to fill her time taking different classes, volunteering in different capacities, and trying out different meals, and Tom treated her as such--he would roll his eyes and act soever put out by her efforts to engage him in anything.

I noticed also that Tom didn't seem to mind taking a gander at women he found sexy or attractive or smart and sexy, etc.

But it was in Season 12, Episode 3 (?) that I breached my annoyance/anger point when he grabbed the two teddy bears Joyce had won at the fair and gave them to a pair of toddlers they encountered.

[–] caviar1234 8 years ago

The portral of the relationship between Tom and Joyce has been rather weird since the middle of the show, especially in Season 9, I was wondering if they were going to have a divorce at that point.

[–] lollipop15 8 years ago

I noticed also that Tom didn't seem to mind taking a gander at women he found sexy or attractive or smart and sexy, etc.

Yes, there was an episode where Barnaby seemed to have a crush on another woman. I don't think he would be the kind of man to cheat, though.

[–] Jakuja 8 years ago

Yeah, she really came across as anxious and neurotic, which is a pity because I liked the actress but I didn't really like the character.

[–] louiseculmer 8 years ago

I never thought she was dingy. She had a lot of different interests, but Tom never seemed to mind that. She was a bad cook, which accounted for his lack of enthusiasm for her cooking experiments. She sometimes got exasperated when he was called away on work, which I thought a little unreasonable, but people aren't always reasonable. On the whole I thought they seemed fond of each other.

Tom didn't mind looking at attractive women, what man does? But he was never unfaithful to Joyce, nor showed any inclination to be.

why would a grown woman want two teddy bears anyway? It's a very unrealistic scenario that they use in a lot of TV series - people win enormous prizes very easily at fairgrounds - doesn't happen in real life like that. Inreality She'd have to had about ten more goes and won all of them to get a prize like that.

[–] vtorina 8 years ago

To each her or his own, I suppose.

I see that you and I have very different worldviews and never the twain shall meet so I shall refrain from responding in kind to your comment.

[–] louiseculmer 8 years ago

How dull, personally, il ike engaging in discussions with people with different world views, what's the point of only talking to people who share your views?

[–] pc-daisy 8 years ago

I really like your response. I have always thought that the dynamic between the two characters was one of the few realistic components of the show. I know a lot of detective spouses (some in my family), and while they come in all shapes, sizes and intellects, Joyce always struck me as very 'normal' and I liked that.

Some people do watch a little too much Hollywood romance and real life isn't like that at al.. With all the over the top madness of MM, their relationship, a happy one, is a counter balance for me.

[–] WhiteTigerRedPhoenix 8 years ago

Exactly, I completely agree with you.

He probably gave the bears to the children without first asking Joyce because he didn't have to ask her. They had been married for a few decades and knew each other fairly well.

[–] meerschweinchen_freunde 8 years ago

why would a grown woman want two teddy bears anyway? It's a very unrealistic scenario that they use in a lot of TV series - people win enormous prizes very easily at fairgrounds - doesn't happen in real life like that. Inreality She'd have to had about ten more goes and won all of them to get a prize like that.

Even though she is a grown woman she still won those bears herself and that's what people didn't like about Barnaby just grabbing the bears from her and giving them to those children without asking her.

[–] GladysOver 8 years ago

.....a normal, average, plausible married couple in other words!

One of the strengths of MM was arguably the normality of Tom/Joyce's relationship though for the sake of, dare I say it, 'diversity' it's also good that John's wife has a career. As a viewer I prefer the former coupling though tbh.

[–] vtorina 8 years ago

Perhaps one of the "normal, average, plausible" marriages that end up in divorce.

[–] GladysOver 8 years ago

Perhaps one of the "normal, average, plausible" marriages that end up in divorce.

....I fear you might be overthinking/overreacting to the sort of relationship that millions of married couples have, and indeed thrive on. Probably for specious ideological/political reasons too I'll wager.

Quite what otherwise attracted you to a show infused with tradition (on multiple levels) as it's core, intrinsic component/selling point is anyone's guess.



[–] poordogabone-1 7 years ago

a normal, average, plausible married couple in other words!

I've also always felt the normality and stability of the Barnaby marriage/family was meant to contrast all the dysfunction going on in the seemingly quiet rural villages around them. I always read it as tongue-in-cheek satire.

I'd like to be a pessimist, but this is a luxury I cannot afford.—Joseph of Cordoba

[–] luming-duan 7 years ago

I agree. I really enjoyed the wonderful dynamic between Barnaby and Joyce. They seem to have a banter going on constantly. He would tease her for her cooking and she would just ignore him. Like a normal couple - choose your battle. She would also make him exercise and he would look for excuses to get out of it, but after making an effort to attempt exercise. They are such a cute old married couple! Real couples don't have to coddle each other like fragile sensitive beings.

[–] sambson 7 years ago

Yes, indeed. I thoroughly enjoy Joyce & Tom's relationship for many of the reasons stated by others in this thread. Summed up as - it has an average, time-worn quality that was a nice juxtaposition to the people he encountered (and sometimes she encountered as well) at his work. They fussed mildly over the expense of decorating, she wanted a boat (that he didn't), he wanted a beach house (that she didn't) and they both indulged the other until the person figured out that it actually wasn't what they wanted. Privately bemoaning your in-laws, but graciously entertaining them when they visit. Husband, wife and daughter all conspiring to play a joke on the father-in-law at Christmas was delightful. Then there was the episode (S9E6) where she says she has enough of that 'perfect housewife' crap at home, and she wouldn't want to play the silly 'damsel in distress' act - but dishing out a bit of discipline would suit her fine. I laughed so hard! And if I may say so - it has been my observation that couples who never admit they're attracted to anyone else or never allow innocent flirting, are precisely the ones who have a breakdown one day and do something stupid they regret. I like the fact that I don't know every single detail of how those two relate to each other. It's a bit of an ongoing mystery that keeps the show afloat for me - as I watch the body count grow.