MovieChat Forums > Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) Discussion > Anakin's father, boy powers, child negle...

Anakin's father, boy powers, child neglect, worst Jedi.

posted 8 years ago by standrkm
3 replies | jump to latest

To make it short:

Is Darth a test tube baby or the product of immaculate conception?

Did Anakin use his powers to persuade his mother in letting him compete in a race where almost every participant will most likely crash or die?

Also, if Padme's decoy was so knowledgeable then why not send her on all those dangerous missions instead?

And is Qui-Gon Jinn the worst Jedi Knight there is? He was killed by a Maul who even his apprentice could beat, and he essentially created Darth Vader. Or did training Anakin bring about Luke and Leia and that's what's more important?

Oh, and if you replaced Jar Jar with a human character that wasn't a complete jester the entire time, how many times better could this movie have been? This would eliminate that entire 20 or so minutes of the underwater nonsense, brought about a much more realistic looking Naboo battle, and possibly forced those tin can battle droids to toughen up as as they would come in contact with real human actors. Those battle droids all felt like carboard cutouts. If you read this far, sorry if I wasted your time.

"how's a fella go about gettin' a holt of the police?" -Karl

[–] Volley2020 8 years ago

Darth's conception is likely by the manipulation of midichlorians inside Shmi Skywalker to create life, this was done by one or both of two people: Palpatine or Plagueis.

OR, for all we know Shmi was sedated, then one of the above had his way with her without her knowing, and then she woke up not having any idea something happened to her. A few weeks/months later a belly starting to show, and major surprise when all her friends, those around her, and probably Watto himself, wondering how did she get pregnant.

A sedation and incident like that would NOT be difficult to do on Tatooine, in the slave housing situation, but since Star Wars is mostly PG I suspect it may be just midichlorian manipulation as revealed by Palpatine in III.

Anakin likely indirectly used his force abilities to persuade those around him, including his mother at various times. I think it's obvious Qwi-Gon Jinn convinced Shmi to allow Anakin to pod race.

Padme is a strange one. She uses her real name as a handmaiden, which is so absolutely stupid--because everyone on Naboo knows her real name is Padme Amidala Naberrie, so if she goes by Handmaiden Padme, then what is the point of using the decoy ruse? It's so stupid and there's no answers to any of this other than what was George thinking? (again)

Maul was the first Sith Lord that Qwi-Gon had probably ever faced, so it startled him how powerful Maul was with the usage of the lightsaber. Not to mention, Maul used a dual-lightsaber. The dark side provides a lot of burst power to its followers, and it was that burst capability that killed Qwi-Gon.

Jar Jar as a human citizen of Naboo would have been awesome, and a name change of course (Perhaps Jarja). In fact the entire Gungan species and their entire culture could disappear and Episode I would have been fantastic. No more "weesa" or "yousa" or "brrrrrbblblblblbllblbllblllblblllll" from the Gungan leader.

We actually didn't see a single Naboo human in the entire movie, other than Amidala's administration, and the very end celebration, but even then the majority of those there were Gungans... So stupid.

[–] standrkm 8 years ago

Thanks for the reply, makes sense.

I think George should have had Qwi-Gon split Maul's dual saber before he died, it made Kenobi look a little too impressive.

I'm guessing Padme must have just been a very common name...or she was just being cocky.

Yeah, I didn't like any of that under water stuff, (which took up a good 20 minutes I think) let alone the Gungans. The entire battle had to be cgi and that's just very difficult to pull off, especially in 1999 and in the daylight with creatures that are beyond belief. If they were human warriors, and Jar Jar was something like a Lando who was evolving into a warrior, and the battle droids weren't such lifeless pushovers then that battle could have really interesting. Plenty of extras would have volunteered! But George wants to keep everything a secret I guess and use cgi everything haha

"how's a fella go about gettin' a holt of the police?" -Karl

[–] barodabulldog 8 years ago

On a vacation a long time ago, on a planet pretty far away, before Quigi Jon took on his apprentice Scooby Wan Kedoobie, there was a vacation. Sort of a Jedi Wilding, approved by Mighty Mini Yoda.

Quigi Jon and some brother Jedis took a spring break trip to the beach planet titooine. While doing to many Jedi shots and drinking blue liquor from tentacle headed girls belly buttons, Quigi Jon and his Jedi Bros got quite uptight.

One of his Jedi Bros, Darth Smaul, drunk and slurring, kept saying "shleep with Shme". Taking this literally, Quigi found the girl named Shme passed out in the back room. Quigi Jon did not realize this was Darth Smaul's date, and he slept with her.

Upon waking up, Shme asked questions. Thinking quickly, Quigi Jon explained about chlidi-morons and how they gathered around her before he puked on the floor and passed out. Not sure this story would work, the Jedi boys all still drunk, blasted their way out of Titooine, leaving the bar tab for Shme, and hoping never to return.

Darth Smaul though, having not gotten any, never forgot and while training for a dirt track event, sent Shme a letter telling her the truth.

Soon after, Quigi Jon got a summons from a Titooine lawyer telling him he owed 10 years child support and a bar tab with interest.

Not believing she wised up, Quigi Jon makes up an excuse to stop on Titooine and find Shme. There he learns of an incredibly ignorant child and that Shme had been working off the bar tab as a slave for the last ten years. Thinking quickly, Quigi Jon, realizing this kid is dumb as dirt, tells the boy of the chlidi-morons and performs a paternity test.

Quigi Jon realizes he's in a boatload of sh!t. Mr. Yoda always told him to wear a Bantha Skin. He also hadn't paid Quigi Jon his allowance in 17 years. The dude was broke.

Quickly, making a deal with the bar owner, Quigi tried to get the kid killed in a Pod Race. But, JabberJaw the Hutt sees an opportunity for a big payoff and rigs the race so the kid wins.

In total disbelief Quigi Jon realizes he's lost and has to take the punk with him. Promising to come back for Shme, he hightailed it out of there. On the way out, he sees his old friend Darth Smaul rolling in the sand laughing. Smaul points and chides Quigi Jon for being stuck with the universes most annoying 10 year old. Quigi punches Smaul and steals his wallet.

The true story is that Quigi Jon is little Annapukins dad. Oh, and don't steal Darth Smaul's wallet, cause he'll cut ya.