Yes, they were portrayed as equals. The fact that you didn't detect might be because you were carrying your own prejudices into the film, either against Siam itself, or against the filmmakers by stereotyping and generalisation.
Yes, she was proud, she doesn't follow protocol. She stupidly asks why is she being called Sir in front of the Prime Minister. But then, neither did the audience know that. (That rule may or may not be true historically, but it's really beside the point. Really.) In many ways we do act like Anna Leonowens does when we enter a foreign country. Take the Chinese - for the most part, where-ever they immigrate into, they lived on as if they are still in China. (I would know.)
But Anna slowly begins to see, how her own country may not always be morally superior, how there are things to love even in Siam. First impressions are proven wrong - the king is different from who she thought he was when she first met him, before she met him. And what many don't see, perhaps, is how the kind and his ministers have a parallel behavioural arc, in that they first find her as annoying as a mosquito, then later came to respect her point of view. This is not a simple silly-white-woman-barging-into-territory-and-changing-things story. At least, I hope that wasn't how the director saw it ...
What I respect most in the film is that they chose not to force the two leads into a romance. That Anna and the King fall in love with each other is only ever suggested, never truly acted upon except for that one last dance they did. And then it vanished forever - it's only ever inside the head of Chulalongkorn. Now that is an emotionally poignant moment. Meant to be anyway.
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