4. Snorting copious amounts of cocaine will transform you into a psychotic, nearly unstoppable powerhouse zombie-of-a-man.
5. After telling your heartfelt sob story, you can show how you're really a good person inside by going out onto the roof and spraying minigun fire at hundreds of innocent police, FBI, and SWAT officers.
6. We will always feel more sorry for the brother who fell victim to the system if he kills SWAT officers and shoots at his brother before he dies teary-eyed in said brother's arms.
7. Never trust gay evil masterminds, they're really just froo-froos without a plan.
8. When you gain control of a prison bus and several other vehicles while already in Texas, don't make a mad-dash to the Mexican border, it's far wiser to hole up in a shopping mall in Fort Worth with above froo-froo.
9. If a chair costs $17,000 it'd better be comfortable.
10. Never wear a ski-mask, it'll just ensure that you get headshot by the first bullet. Every. Single. Time.
http://www.youtube.com/anotherschmoe
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