The Adventures of The Golden Horatio: Part 1 - The Old Man and the Traveler

There was a traveler, lost in the mist of a fog, stumbled through a dark path in a forest. He was cold, lost, feeble, and hungry in a territory known as Conway. When eventually the forest opened to a magical court where the sun shined through onto a house made of marble and stone, with crystal windows in the shape of rain drops and a large wooden door. He knocked on the door, praying for a host, to welcome him in from the cold. A man opened up, old and feeble himself, a hermit if you permit. He saw the man in distress and welcomed him in to sit by the fire as he warmed the stew and made some coffee. The man dried himself off while the old man brought him his meal.

“Let me tell you a tale, a tale as grandiose and large as the castle on the high hills. There once was a man, a wicked man named Horatio. He wanted to travel the world and find more riches and gold to pack into his large estate.” The old man pulled out a set of bongo’s and began to beat on one with a steady pulse as he told the tale of the wicked Horatio.

“When Horatio was a young lad, eager to see the world, his poor wife, Belle begged him to stay with her. But alas, he was too cold to be with that wench in his ghastly Earthship of a home. The moss roof was falling in, and his 17 children were a pest to him. We wanted riches, adventure, poontang that wasn’t stretched out wide from birthing 19 of his children. If there were all his. He was only 18 himself and wondered how so many children were falling out of that gaped vagina.”

The traveler, amused by the story, and too warm to head back into the cold misty forest, continued to sip his tea and listen to the old Bongoman go on. So the old man continued……

***Stay Tuned Next Week for Part 2: The Curse of the Mariner***