How do people with disabilities feel about this movie?

Foremost, I'd like to say that it's cool you brought up this topic. (Plus, it's finally something other than religion.)

Anyway, I didn't mind the aspect of the movie at all. In fact, I even related to it during at least one scene.

Diverting for a moment... I do have a physical disability, but it's nowhere near as obvious as a missing arm.

Getting back to the main topic... The scene was the supermarket parking lot, and it was so clear for me and stuck out like an over-sized head. It was the point where the young girl asks her mother "what happened to [Bethany's] arm?" Then, her mother apologizes and they walk away.

It hit me because I've heard those whispers far too often, even though my disability isn't blatant. From the one perspective, I don't blame children for asking such questions. They really don't know better. HOWEVER, when adults do, it pisses me off.

That... And when someone says "I understand." I won't go into details because it infuriates me something fierce, but suffice it to say, it's horrendously ignorant and tactless behavior.

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W-a-a-a!..W-a-a-a!..How do you like it?!?..W-a-a-a!

I was really bothered by several of the scenes in the movie where everyone around her is trying to comfort her, give her advice, tell her it'll be better, etc. Fundamentally all of this puts her severed arm at the pinnacle of importance. In the scene where she's going out on the waves for the first time and her parents keep telling her ways she can adjust her technique to compensate, I was yelling at the TV "leave her alone and let her surf!"

My take on disabilities being visible, how to treat people, etc. is that EVERYONE deserves consideration for whatever they're going through, regardless of whether they have something recognized as a disability by them or others, deserves to be taken seriously when they say something is difficult, for others to do their best to treat them how they want to be treated, to believe when they say something isn't a big deal.

On the flipside, people have reactions to things like seeing a person with only one arm, and need to be able to talk about what's coming up for them without it being cast as hurtful or wrong (this is different than someone having those things come up and then treating the person like they're weird, sub-human, helpless, etc.) So for example the scene in the grocery store parking lot where the child in the cart asks the mom what happened to her arm, the mother could have said, "well, let's ask her" or at least answered that she probably lost it in an accident, rather than acting like it's a taboo subject.

Personally I notice various reactions to people's appearances and behaviors and would love to be able to talk about what's coming up, but usually keep quiet because I think it'll be taken negatively as if I'm attacking the people. I've had a few instances where I've been able to talk to the person about what's come up and it's been respectful of them and they have been appreciative of me being open and attempting to work through these barriers. I see these things that come up as indicators of unresolved things in my own life, for example fear of losing a limb, etc.

When I'm talking about my own life and struggles I face, I find it generally unhelpful when people tell me that they understand, that I'm not alone, etc. These are barriers that prevent them from continuing to listen and hear further details about what I'm experiencing. These are someone else bringing in their own ideas of what I want, rather than just listening for what I express that I want from them. It's especially frustrating when I say that I don't want these from them and they act like I am denying that I really do, or don't want to admit it. It's like, what's your real goal here, because it's definitely not my well-being! It's refreshing when someone listens until I'm done, then asks probing questions and is never overly confident that they fully understand. This always leaves the door open for me to say more in the future.

I think it's great when people ask questions about someone from a place of simply wanting to know. When they want to ask but shy away, this sends the message that the person couldn't deal with being asked, that there's something wrong with the subject that it can't be talked about, etc. When people are candid with me about questions they have, I might experience it as threatening since I don't know their motive at first, but when I see it as genuinely inquisitive, I enjoy the clarity I get from coming up with a good answer.

Thanks for this topic; it goes great within the context of the movie! Love the blog link as well. That kind of "wow, that person did that evey though they can't walk!" is like the common "you play well for a girl". Uck. I'm a human being, just like you, and the only way you can know what is an achievement for me and what is just daily routine is to ask me, since only I know the struggles I face. And I don't need (or want) your commendation for how well I'm doing, about how brave I seem to you based on your assumptions.

As a parent of a 2.5 year old wheelchair bound boy born with Spina Bifida, I don't think living a "normal life" is out of reach. The most crippling body part is the mind, and if it is crippled, an able-bodied person won't have a "normal life".

"Ignorance" isn't the driving force of a can-do life. Faith, desire and determination are.

No offense, you sound a little bitter. This movie isn't about you. It's about Bethany and her determination to live the kind of life she wants to live.

You can do what you want with your life, two arms and all. If your disability is hampering your progress, then you do the best you can. That's all anyone can ask for.

I don't know who you thing you are, but before the night is thru...I wanna do bad things with you!

This is an excellent, though deceptively complex topic.

I found the movie inspiring. I can't imagine being a 13 year old who loses an arm, so from that standpoint alone I tried to put myself in her place. Given her age, fitness level, lack of other illness/disability, her strong family and friends' support, her passion for surfing (that existed before the shark attack) - she was determined to give it her best shot despite her particular disability. I enjoyed seeing that, very much.

To take her inspiring example and apply it across the board (pun intended) to every person with a disability is oversimplifying the usually complex nature of others' disabilities (including the social &/or familial support factor) as well as dishonoring Bethany. This is *her* disability. It is uniquely hers, as much as her identity.

I was diagnosed with MS over 5 years ago. I would no more take an inspiring story of someone with MS climbing Mt. Everest and using it to try to "inspire" others with MS disabilities to do the same. MS as an illness is all over the map in terms of what is affected and its severity, and can cause both visible and invisible, variable levels of disability. So yeah - when someone takes the story of Ms. X who "has MS" but is incredibly active and "not letting her disease win" by running marathons or climbing Mt. Everest, I can only think this "You are simply lucky - your disease course is relatively benign; you are going through a welcome period of prolonged remission/wait till your next relapse; and perhaps you've been misdiagnosed and don't have MS in the first place." The endless variable factors all of us cope with in just getting on with life will naturally extend to our particular challenges and disabilities.

I went through a harrowing flare (for *me*) a few months ago. My disability was obvious. It resolved itself after a number of weeks and now I look "normal", though hidden disability such as fatigue and pain are not so obvious.

I will readily admit that the repeated questions from well meaning acquaintances who didn't know about my diagnosis became tiresome, but I knew they were well-intentioned. I know many people in my support group who - from my perspective - have far more disability and difficulty from MS than I do. I admire them, but I don't wish to patronize them because I'm beginning to understand how that feels. "No, I'm not *so brave*, I'm just a person like you, trying to live a meaningful life..." while at the same time understanding that most people don't mean to be patronizing or weird about it.

Still learning - but it's a lifelong process, ain't it?

Whatever our disabilities, my deepest hope is that we can show each other empathy, kindness, compassion, admiration and encouragement - just as we would in any other facet of life.

I have a very severe "invisible" illness, that being ME/CFS and I found this movie very inspirational and really enjoyed it.

You sounded very bitter and probably in need of a good counsellor to deal with your emotions over it. Believe me Ive been treated terribly at times with this illness due to it eg Before receiving it, I was rejected for disability pension three times even thou I wasnt even able to stay seated during assessments as they didnt believe me and was on the floor. I even choose to go to jail for a while for something I was innocent of instead of accepting bail till the case was heard as I couldnt get disability home support at that time and couldnt even cook for myself so was very often going without meals. Ive been terribly disriminated against for having an invisible illness that most people dont understand can be extremely severe.

My illness not being seen (unless Im nearly having a near seizure from it, tremoring or gone unconscious or left unable to talk properly as Ive got that exhausted from doing something which is hardly doing anything at all), that doesnt stop me seeing good things in life even if they are very small things. I was marvelling at a rose outside of my window the other day, took a photo of it and shared it with all my disabled, homebound/bedbound invisible illness friends online. It was so beautiful.

Sure I cant do what she can (in fact I cant even leave my house without a support worker at my side as I have unconsciousness collapses due to this illness when Im on my feet so cant even do a basic food shop alone!). In fact last time I went out surfing I nearly drowned, I paddled outback and was so exhausted at that point that I got into big trouble. So in my case I did have to quit surfing as it is completely now unsafe for me. I felt soo happy for her, to still be able to live her dream even with a severe disability even if so many people due to so much false info out there, dont understand my own.

best wishes to you
I hope you feel happier in the future and come more to terms with whatever disability you have (I got ME/CFS 17years ago when I was in my prime, in my 20s.. it destroyed all my plans in life, had to drop out of collage where I was studying what I'd always wanted to do, couldnt take care of my own children, couldnt work at all anymore and lost the jobs I loved etc etc).

I have a disability in all the muscles of both hands and arms, and I found this movie very positive and inspiring. I, too, have had people make comments, such as "Are you drunk?, are you having a nervous breakdown, are you on drugs?". It's very embarrassing and makes me feel very self-conscious. Because my disability affects every single thing I do using my hands and arms, Bethany's positive attitude really spoke to me. Also when she asked her Dad "why did I have to lose everything?" and when she asked her youth group leader "How can this be God's plan for me?" , it made me cry- I have asked both of those questions. I also like the part about it being hard to see things when you are too close to them, and how it helps to "get a new perspective". Since I saw the movie, I have really been working on trying to get a new perspective. I was inspired to do that by seeing Bethany do that, so I think that using her disability to give other people hope is a great idea- she definitely helped me!

In all honesty, I was irritated with this flick. Even though it was cool That she still doe well despite her handicap, I kept feeling like people were patronizing her because of said handicap.

I read a story about a quadriplegic who learned how to paint with her teeth. Even though that is awesome I kept thinking. Would her paintings be as appreciated if she weren't paralyzed from the neck down?

I have Asperger's Syndrome and I can tell you, it was because of films like these that I had trouble believing anyone who praised me, especially people who knew I had the condition. Fairly recently my dad gave me a compliment on how independent I've become because I make my own appointments. Good intentions aside, getting praised for things that normal people my age do every day made me feel they thought I was stupid.

Another fun story I have, I joined this group for people with physical and mental disabilities who get together and make films. I had to play this homeless punk. The Director, who founded this group told me I was great in the role, but after seeing some of the other people in the group, some who had it worse than me, I wondered what that meant. Good or good for someone with my condition. We managed to get Ted Levine AKA Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs to play a part. After shooting was done, I asked Ted for an autograph, and he said I did a great job. Maybe this was more sincere because he is a professional actor, but who knows.



"We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children"

We are human, and may stare or even laugh, not understanding the problem. We've all done it at some point, and hopefully, we learn something about ourselves.
I just watched a video on some singing show. A 20yo was depressed and had agoraphobia(?). But she got up on that big stage and belted out 'Hallelujah'.
And it wasn't just that she was shy. She had a serious mental issue. And it's not like getting on stage was the cure. It was just a step. A big one!
At 25, I badly broke my hip. I was in a body cast, and on crutches for half a year. When I was in public, you could sense people looking. We're all curious. They wanted to stare, but didn't want to get caught. And they really didn't want to see me, because it could have been a permanent injury. They also preferred I was invisible. (like I am now, at 60, with women...)
Good luck on your problem. And to all out there. Even we 'normal' people have issues! Maybe lots.