An open letter to Ubisoft and everyone involved in this movie

Dear Ubisoft,
I've been playing the AC games since the beginning, and even though I must admit (and you should too) that not all the games are good (some are really great and a few are just average), I have always LOVED the concept of AC games, and unlike most people, I don't complain about the present timelines in the games. The present time IS what makes the game special, a sci-fi-religious-mystical-conspiracy-thriller, rather than just another medieval action game.
That said, I feel confident to shout it ou loud: WHAT THE *beep* HAVE YOU DONE? Everyone else noticed by now, but oh gosh, your movie S-U-C-K-E-D H-A-R-D. So, as someone who has a profound fondness for the AC mythology built in the games, I have seven major complains:

1 - Jesus christ, what was that opening 15 minutes? One of the worst, most stumbling and uneven openings I've ever seen in a film. Just when we should feel compelled by the characters and the universe, you come up with THAT? we got completely lost with all the non-sense *beep*

2 - Why all the fog??? WHY??? This movie should be called "Assassin's Creed - Lost in the Fog".

3 - Who had the choice of this ugly, cheessy and 90's-music-video- yellowish aesthetics?? Was it the director? The art department? Tell me his name and I promise I'll dedicate my life to call for his head. I'll hunt him down, I'll ruin his social networks, I'll bully his children in school, I'll hack his computer and leak his embarrassing videos, I'll make him relive that episode of Black Mirror, I'll conspire to make sure he never get another job in the film industry.

4 - What have you done with the Animus?? I understand that the original ideia would look too similar to The Matrix (as if there's not enough similarities. Just deal with it. I wouldn't mind) and you wanted a more frantic approach....I get it. But goddamnit….that seemed to have come straight out of the mind of a 10 year old child. So much so you only show us Callum mimicking the cool movements of climbing and fighting….. but what about when he's riding a horse??? Oh right, I know, IT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS. Of course, because this new Animus concept SUCKS. And you know that.

5 - Anyone who played the AC games realized at some point that the true strength of the games, what makes them truly special, is the meta-narrative. Apart from the creative mythology about religious conspiracy, there's a subtext: the AC series are about the act of playing games. In AC IV there's even a clever meta-joke, when you see in one of the computers at the Abstergo facility some plans for making big hollywood films about the material they take out the Animus. Why not use this kind of meta-commentary in the film? And there's more about that: The best moment of all AC games (and one of my favorite moments in any game ever) is in AC II, when Ezio finds another piece of eden and has a vision of the alien-goddess Minerva (yeah, I know), she explains who she is and then says "my words are not meant for you". confused, Ezio replies "what? who are you talking to? there's no one else here", and she insists "Enough! I do not wish to speak with you, but THROUGH you", and then she looks at the camera, breaking the forth wall. That was one hell of a OMFG! moment. She was speaking with Desmond (the one who was "reliving" Ezio in the Animus, but the moment she breaks the forth wall, she was also speaking to US. That was a shivering and mesmerizing moment that made Assassin's Creed gain the status of an art-classic game. So why not try to make this in the film? I don't mean to do the same scene, but adapt the bigger concept, the same meta-fiction. That is, for me, the SOUL of the AC series. If the games are about the immersion of playing games, why can't the film be about the immersion of being in a movie theater? How cool would that be?? We, seated in a theater and "living" the film, could easily be compared to being immersed in the Animus. Now THAT would be awesome.

6 - What about this terrible-laughable-disgraceful script?? The plot revelations are totally out of place: the twist about the true plan of the Templars for the Animus came too early. When Sofia is aware of them, there's no impact. And what was that suggestion that Sofia was an Assassin? Even that you totally ignore in the climax?? And where's the actual CREED? All I saw was a couple with certain sexual tension between them running and fighting (and terrible at being stealthy). Oh hell...you couldn't even explain or write a proper plot about the Apple of Eden! KNOW YOUR *beep* MATERIAL for god's sake!

7 - And you had three writers to do this? Really?? You had SIX HANDS to write an adaptation and this is the best you could come up with?? This incoherent, lazy, non-sense mess???

So, my dear Ubisoft, I hope you choke on your failure, for having disappointed every fan of the game, for having broken our dreams, with this disastrous pieces of images and sound you call a film.

I finish this letter by claiming that, amidst all the horrible dialogs of this film, there's one that you should always remember and should haunt the dreams of everyone in your company, that's when Sofia tells Callum: "that's not the way I do things", and he replies "Then don't do it".

Sincerily yours,
a former fan of your franchise,
André