What we learned in TLSJW


- Brave, strong men are reckless and should be demoted and demeaned
- The First Order is made up of bumbling Nazi white guys and easily angered Emos
- All heroes are non-white
- Women should run the Resistance (even though they managed to get it virtually wiped out with no other parties wanting to come to their aid)
- The appropriate response to being given your long lost Lightsaber is to toss it over your shoulder
- MEAT is evil
- The Jedi Texts mean NOTHING
- Jedi training is OPTIONAL for Mary Sues
- One creates an intricate, hard to assemble map in order to be "Left alone to die"
- The guy who refused to kill his Dad in an effort to turn him back to the light decided to kill his nephew because he was "afraid" of him
- One can take a spacecraft piloting course while unconscious in a medical pod
- Gambling is BAD
- Dog/Camel/Horse racing is BAD
- Arms dealers are BAD
- All affluent people are BAD
- One must kill the past (story arcs from TFA, Luke Skywalker, The Jedi tree, Admiral Ackbar, supposed worst bad guy in the galaxy Snoke)
- Leia is a floating Space Angel
- Sustainable Green Milk expression
- Releasing Dog/Camel/Horse animals is more important that doing the same for child slaves
- Female leaders should keep the escape plan to themselves to ensure that others take desperate measures in an effort to save the fleet

any more ??

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1. Who needs space ships when you can project yourself across the galaxy?

2. Kill your father not you mother.

3. Bitchy women with odd colored hair think nothing of sacrificing themselves.

4. Don't bother destroying the Empire their just going to come back again.

5. And lets not forget; an emo kid can still have sex appeal even after killing his own father and being complicit in the destruction of multiple planets.

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nits picked...

- Rey is white and is a hero, so your blanket statement about heros being exclusively non-white doesn't hold...
- Luke is also white and is a hero, sacrificing himself via holographic force projection in order to give the rebels time to escape...
- Lightsabers are de-mystefied, as the force is spiritual and non-materialistic.. sabers are just weapons...
- When you disobey orders at war you get courtmarshalled (or worse), a slap on the face is a slap on the wrist 😉 ...
- The resistence being led badly is a non-issue... no one said they'd have to be good at it 😁


Good points on the child slaves, emo nazis, and a few others...

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If you believe that KK and her stooge RJ are making Luke a hero in this - you are blind.





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how is sacrificing yourself in defense of the rebels not the ultimate in heroism (in Star Wars world)?

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Spot-on! Thx for the thorough post.

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More things I learned from TLSJW:

- Women never need any help from anyone. Even when they come seeking help, such as to a remote Jedi island, they shouldn't actually directly ask for help, and really don't actually need any help and can figure everything out themselves.

- When a woman comes to an ancient, sacred island that has existed for thousands of years, it's completely acceptable to slice off ancient rocks and blast things for her own amusement. Meanwhile Luke lives there for 50 years and co-exists respectfully.

- In the far future, space ships won't have reactors but will instead need some kind of "space gas" or they will stop moving in a matter of days. (This will fact will be ignored in every previous and subsequent movie).

- When pursuing a ship running on "space gas" it's inconceivable to use hyperspace to send half your fleet ahead of them. Instead you should just chase at low speed and give them time to cook up an escape plan.

- When a female leader is confronted about having no plan, they should never admit they don't have one and never ask for any input. It's best to just pretend you have a plan until things fall apart. That's good leadership.

- Bad guys are just bad guys. They don't need reasons for anything they do. They are just bad. We don't need to understand why they are dong anything or where they come from, that's just a waste of time.

- Thousands of soldiers dying in an exploding spaceship = "meh." One woman dying from her own incompetence = "a hero to be praised."

- We value diversity above all else... unless you are some kind of weird brown calamari-thing - then you get 2 seconds of screen time and killed off without anyone caring. Who cares if you were important in a previous movie: kill the past.

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Luke projected himself across the galaxy once and died.
Snoke projected two people across the galaxy several times and had no problems.

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