MovieChat Forums > Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015) Discussion > Anyone else think that the cut anal sex ...

Anyone else think that the cut anal sex joke was HILARIOUS?

posted 9 years ago by DietSoda78
98 replies | jump to latest

The joke got a huge laugh, and, in it's sophomorific, riffing on the end of every James Bond film way, was somewhat sophisticated (sadly, I'm not sure about the exact dialogue, since I can't watch the original version anymore on my HD download)...I'm going to describe the joke in a way that hopefully explains why I think it's so bleepin' funny...

Dapper British gentleman-spy in the middle of saving the world comes across an imprisoned Princess.

Princess: "Get me out of here."
Spy: "Oh, you're that Swedish princess who went missing."
Princess: "Yes"
Spy, all suave and gentlemanly: "I've always wanted to meet a Princess. If I save the world, can I have a kiss?"
Princess, totally casual, almost off-hand: "If you save the world, we can do it in the *beep*
Spy, suddenly looking a little like the young, probably sexually inexperienced man that he is, but still (barely) maintaining his gentlemanly composure: "I'll be right back."

And then the true punchline is right after killing the bad guy and saving the world, as if it's been on his mind constantly throughout the final fight, with a sense of urgency equal to stopping the death of millions, Eggsy is grabbing two champagne glasses and a bottle and running, not walking, back to that cell.

Sorry, all ye offended. That's a great joke. Eggsy's youth, combined with the simple misdirection of the old fashioned, "Can I have a kiss, Princess?" and the modern ultra-worldly European woman's response, "We can do it in the *beep* and Eggsy remembering his training from Harry, asking her permission at the door, "Can I come in?" maintaining his composure but also acting like a horny teenager...it's perfect. And in an R rated movie with plenty of gore and hundreds of F bombs, I find it rather sad that it was cut. I think it was one of the funniest jokes in the movie. Perhaps I'm the only one who got it...

[–] joodense 9 years ago

it was not cut in the blu ray rental copy i watched last night? i didn't think it was all that funny, butt sex is a normal thing here in the states.

edit: it seems like 2 possibilities: 1. it is edited in other countries 2. the pirated versions circulating the internet right now are of the edited versions.

[–] dickmarvel 9 years ago

Common and normal are not the same thing

[–] Samus Aran 9 years ago

That sounds like you're thumping a bible?

"Normal" is whatever has been "common" for one generation.

Good and evil, normal and abnormal have to be based on something to have any meaning. The universe has no built-in "right" or "wrong", whatever is "common" for a generation becomes the new "normal". Each new generation has its own set of "normal" beliefs. The older people from the previous generation will usually cling to the former generation's view of "normal", while the new generation will believe the previous generation to be "abnormal" ("old-fashioned").

Whatever the current majority are comfortable with is considered normal.

That said, it will take some more time before anal sex is considered normal in the USA, as most of the older population still considers it to be abnormal, while most of the younger population considers it common and normal.

The only way past this is if you apply some sort of arbitrary moral judgement upon other people, such as various religions that claim anal sex or homosexuality are "unnatural" and therefore "immoral" and "abnormal" (incidentally, homosexuality can't be unnatural when thousands of social species in nature practise it). The problem with using an arbitrary religion to dictate "normal" is that people will do whatever people will do, religions don't get to prevent people from making up their own mind about what is "normal" to them. Normal is whatever has been familiar during your life. Abnormal is something different from that.

If you weren't coming from a religious morality perspective about homosexuality, and were only referring to the physical act of anal sex (such as with a married couple), then most of the above still applies. At which point you would need to question how vaginal sex is not dirty and anal sex is, when both are having sex with the opening where human waste products are expelled, and both body parts can easily be washed with warm soapy water...

[–] wjb7221975 9 years ago

At which point you would need to question how vaginal sex is not dirty and anal sex is, when both are having sex with the opening where human waste products are expelled,

Are you talking about urine or blood? Because urine is expelled from the urethra, a separate opening from the vagina, which is where the penis goes. Blood does come from the vagina, once a month only.

[–] joodense 9 years ago

Straight people enjoy butt sex too. Open your mind bro

[–] wintermonk 9 years ago

"That sounds like you're thumping a bible?

"Normal" is whatever has been "common" for one generation.

Good and evil, normal and abnormal have to be based on something to have any meaning. The universe has no built-in "right" or "wrong", whatever is "common" for a generation becomes the new "normal". Each new generation has its own set of "normal" beliefs. The older people from the previous generation will usually cling to the former generation's view of "normal", while the new generation will believe the previous generation to be "abnormal" ("old-fashioned").

Whatever the current majority are comfortable with is considered normal.

That said, it will take some more time before anal sex is considered normal in the USA, as most of the older population still considers it to be abnormal, while most of the younger population considers it common and normal.

The only way past this is if you apply some sort of arbitrary moral judgement upon other people, such as various religions that claim anal sex or homosexuality are "unnatural" and therefore "immoral" and "abnormal" (incidentally, homosexuality can't be unnatural when thousands of social species in nature practise it). The problem with using an arbitrary religion to dictate "normal" is that people will do whatever people will do, religions don't get to prevent people from making up their own mind about what is "normal" to them. Normal is whatever has been familiar during your life. Abnormal is something different from that.

If you weren't coming from a religious morality perspective about homosexuality, and were only referring to the physical act of anal sex (such as with a married couple), then most of the above still applies. At which point you would need to question how vaginal sex is not dirty and anal sex is, when both are having sex with the opening where human waste products are expelled, and both body parts can easily be washed with warm soapy water..."

This is your philosophical belief, that there is no absolute morality. Ironic that people who don't believe in absolute morality are quick to preach about being "tolerant" or "open-minded" as if these are virtues. If there is no absolute morality, then people should be free to be as intolerant and judgmental as they want to be. After all, there is no absolute morality, so people can accept or condemn whatever they wish. Very few moral relativists, I find, truly accept the full implications of their own beliefs, because they preach morality as much as anyone else.

That said, a man reaps what he sows. This is a principle built into the universe than anyone can see. For every action there are consequences. Immoral actions produce destructive consequences. A society can say, "Well, the majority wants this to be accepted." And it can work hard to mitigate the consequences of an immoral behavior so that the consequences become tolerable. When we succeed at this we can claim to be achieving "social progress." The fact that we have to mitigate the consequences of our behaviors proves that we are engaged in self-destructive behaviors.

So if you don't like words like "wrong" or "immoral" or "sin" or whatever. Fine. Call it "destructiveness." After all, a rose by any other name smells just as sweet. It doesn't matter what you call immorality. Choose your term. It doesn't change what it is. Humans continue to engage in behaviors that are destructive--physically, emotionally, and psychologically--and the fact that we accept these behaviors and say they are okay does nothing to alter the consequences. This is why the human condition will not improve. Because, when it comes down to it, we don't want to. We want to do what we want to do. Screw the consequences (or we'll just take a pill to feel better).

[–] Strazdamonas 9 years ago

It is exactly the same thing. the definition of normal is something that is accepted by majority and thus common to be considered a default.

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Applied Science? All science is applied. Eventually.

[–] edwchase 8 years ago

, butt sex is a normal thing here in the states.

Can you please come and explain that to my wife.

[–] justanicknamed 8 years ago

Sure. I just need a bottle of wine or margarita mix (depending upon her preference), some lube, a "toy" for her to use on her front side and I'll make sure she enjoys it. 😎

[–] lestatsluver0666 9 years ago

It wasn't editied out of the theatrical release in Australia

[–] GrematikalHeiror 9 years ago

I wouldn't say it was all caps funniest thing ever. But I also wouldn't say it was cut because it was on the version I rented from redbox last night.

But it was funny.

What am I gonna do... with a gun rack?

[–] btrevoryoung 9 years ago

In the version I rented from Red Box, not only was the joke not cut, but at the end there was a couple of seconds of the princess's naked rear end, with a somewhat shadowed view between her legs of her vagina. Actually, I'm not sure how they got by without an NC17 rating.

At any rate, I can't remember the words exactly either, but the following is somewhat closer than the OP:

Eggsy: If I get you out, can I have a kiss? I've never kissed a princess before.
Princesss: If you get me out, I'll give you more than a kiss.
Eggsy: Right after I save the world
Princess (in an excited voice): If you save the world, we can do it in the a$$hole. (And really, with her Swedish accent, and the excitement in her voice, the way she said "a$$hole" was the funniest part of the joke.)

I do think it was funny, but for a different reason than the OP. The princess seemed like she really wanted it in the a$$. She seemed more the "horny teenager" than Eggsy to me. Typical beautiful princess, locked up in her ivory tower, protected from the outside world to the point that she is denied the experiences most young women get to have in every-day, non-royal life. When she gets this opportunity, she intends to take full advantage of it.

That or she's always been a slut. Either way, funny as hell.

[–] Strazdamonas 9 years ago

I had the same interpretation as you. well written.

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Applied Science? All science is applied. Eventually.

[–] transmentalist 9 years ago

And then the true punchline is right after killing the bad guy and saving the world, as if it's been on his mind constantly throughout the final fight, with a sense of urgency equal to stopping the death of millions, Eggsy is grabbing two champagne glasses and a bottle and running, not walking, back to that cell.

Of all the anti-James-Bond jokes in the movie, that was the funniest to me. Running to get his "reward" is about as un-Bond as you can get.

Guess I'm just as immature as I am jaded.

[–] danih-1 9 years ago

Also, if you check the trivia section:

At the end of the film Eggsy asks for the code to enter the cell holding Princess Tilde. Merlin gives him the code '2625' which if typed into a phone keypad would spell 'anal'.

George Miller: Witness my movie!
Audience: Mediocre!

[–] koffeenkreame41-1 9 years ago

Also, if you check the trivia section:

At the end of the film Eggsy asks for the code to enter the cell holding Princess Tilde. Merlin gives him the code '2625' which if typed into a phone keypad would spell 'anal'.

Awesome haha, I didn't notice that 

"I'm the ultimate badass,you do NOT wanna f-ck wit me!"Hudson,Aliens😬

[–] janus3 9 years ago

it was stupid.

[–] outsider-2 9 years ago

it was stupid indeed.

[–] ctulhu_eternal 9 years ago

You mean stupid like you both?

[–] reaseltbim 8 years ago

did you think the oral sex with a decapitated head scene in High Tension was stupid too?
Because High Tension was WAY More sexist than this movie... So you are just one huge hypocrite then?

[–] michaelexarkun 9 years ago

It seemed to come "out of left field", I found it completely unexpected.
The accent of the princess added to the "joke" because it accentuated the key word in her offer.
Also, a nice rear view.

[–] SloppyJ30 9 years ago

Same here. I don't object to that kind of line on general principle, but it had the effect of a needle pulling across a record in this case. "Yeah, he's gonna save the world . . wait; what did she say?" And the "rear view" was, as you say, "nice," but in a movie with none of that stuff, to throw it in just before the credits roll is more like a frat-boy practical joke than a smart choice to send everyone home.

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I have meddled with the primal forces of nature and I will atone.