Things I learned watching The Meg

You have to turn off your brain for this one. It's enjoyable as long as you don't ask it to follow reality too closely.

(For instance, how in the world could a meg survive in the freezing temperatures under that layer they break through--whales migrating to colder waters is what killed off the megs in the first place; and why oh why would scientists send human beings through that layer before sending robots and all sorts of other stuff through first?)

5) It's best to put 2 fats guys in your research sub because they'll move much more quickly in an emergency.
6) I never, ever want to go to a beach in China.
7) The space-time continuum has been screwed royally, not allowing Gracie the whale to grow up and meet the Star Trek crew.
8) If you're not close to the end of the movie, and you kill the giant shark, don't be laughing and swimming in the water, thinking you're safe.
9) Every time there's a helicopter in a giant sea creature movie, don't expect the standard scene of the giant sea creature leaping out of the water to snare the copter in mid-air.

10. Even though your father just died, its still ok to have the hots for Jason and flirt with him.
11. Apparently everyone at a Chinese beach owns a brightly colored floatie.
12. Its fun to swim (or not) with a thousand other people at a beach.
13. The hero of the movie can stay ripped and in great shape for 5 years while drinking beer everyday.

A scientist concludes that a single person can swim up to the meg unharmed because “one person isn’t a threat” despite it eating 4 or 5 people alone in the water

17. If a giant shark gets bitten by werewolf, you're not safe in the sea or on land!


Ok, maybe that didn't happen, but if they want to use that idea for the sequel, I will allow it.

18. No matter how much a giant sea monster eats, it will always be hungry..even if it just ate another giant sea monster very nearly its own size

19. There's no end credits scene.