MovieChat Forums > Manifest (2018) Discussion > What would you do regarding your marriag...

What would you do regarding your marriage?

posted 3 years ago by Hans-Wilhelm (1330)
12 replies | jump to latest

In the situation where the spouse has moved on and has another lover?
So in Grace and Ben's situation...Ben gets on a plane flies for 6-7 hours and gets off only to find out his wife....his exclusive monogamous mate just a day ago now has been sleeping with another man for 3 years and has given her heart to him. You daughter now has mom dad/daughter bond with another man.

Based on her side of things....she didn't do anything wrong....you were dead to the world but still for you it has just been a day. She's your wife and in an instant that changes to her being another man's for 3 years.

Would you try and stay married to her and keep the marriage going and just get rid of the other guy or would it be too much and you'd have to divorce.

From the wife's angle. If your mate disappeared and was dead like this and you had moved on to a new relationship....3 years worth and suddenly your dead husband and child come back.
Would you dump this new relationship and cut them out and rejoin your lost family or would you want to keep the new relationship?

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[–] PaladinNJ (20792) 3 years ago

You also have to take into account that Ben did nothing wrong either.

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[–] Hans-Wilhelm (1330) 3 years ago

You didn't answer the question.

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[–] PaladinNJ (20792) 3 years ago

Not sure how I would answer it. Just adding another piece of information which should be taken into account.

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[–] Hans-Wilhelm (1330) 3 years ago

I never said anyone was to blame for anything. I'm not sue why you even bothered posting on this thread at all.

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[–] Who (5146) 3 years ago

I think they did the right thing. Work on the marriage for the sake of the kids. It was hinted that their marriage was strained by the stress of Cal’s cancer but not irreconcilable. They still loved each other. Not sure Grace was totally in love with Danny either. They weren’t married. If kids weren’t in the picture, then the Danny relationship might be the better choice.

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[–] Trev (887) 3 years ago

If I was Ben I would pressure her into making the decision. Because Ben only loves her and nobody else. She's the one in love with 2 different men. She has to choose.

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[–] Hans-Wilhelm (1330) 3 years ago

I would have filed for divorce (after being reinstated as living) and gotten my share of the assets.

It is true that to her I was dead and 5 years had passed and she wasn't cheating....she was just moving on with her life...but for me, it has been a day and suddenly my wife has had sex with another man for a year or more. There is no undoing that so the marriage would be over. Even if she wanted to ditch the other guy and wanted me back and our life together back in the worst way....her having had sex....hundreds of times....since I'd seen her 24 before, that is a deal breaker.

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[–] Trev (887) 3 years ago

You say that now but I think it's more complicated than that. You get on an airplane, land, and 5 years has passed but I don't think you can just end a relationship that easily, you still love your wife. It's situational really

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[–] Hans-Wilhelm (1330) 3 years ago

I won't tell you your boundaries do not act like you know mine.
I would never get past someome else screwing my wife.
That kills everything for me.
Not for you? Ok, that is you.

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[–] Trev (887) 3 years ago

That'd kill everything for me, too. I'd leave that bitch in a second if she was fuckin another dude behind my back. Thing is, I was DEAD for 5 years. She wasn't doing anything behind my back.

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[–] Hans-Wilhelm (1330) 3 years ago

To you that matters. To me it does not. The end result is the same. I get on a plane....get off 6 hours later....expecting to see my wife.....then learn she's been dating some guy for 2 years and screwed him 500 to a 1,000 times.

Did she do anything technically wrong? No, she did not. It still wouldn't make a difference. The sex with another man would just be too much. The marriage would be a casualty of the bizarre, super natural event. The marriage would be a casualty though. I'd no longer want her as a wife. The marriage would be over.

Like I said. To you the "not behind my back" makes it acceptable for you. For me it would not. Once we became man and wife....another man having sex with her is forever off the table while I'm alive. Ok, she thought I was dead.....I wasn't so I now have the mental image of some other man doing whatever to my wife. That ends it for me. Someone else had her after "I do"...."until death do us part".....the marriage is dead. Sex with my wife....under any circumstance is a deal breaker. Non negotiable.

Let's get on the same page here. Maybe I am misunderstanding you. I'm reading you as if you are trying to explain to me why I SHOULD BE WILLING TO STAY MARRIED and why I SHOULDN'T FEEL HOW I FEEL. If that is the case. Do not do that. I'm not telling you how you should feel. If you would just stay in the marriage like the guy in the show has done and the "intent" makes a difference to you.... more power to you. If you are NOT explaining why I shouldn't feel the way I feel about it, but rather, you are only telling me your feelings but not trying to imply I should feel the same as you then I misunderstood you. We are each just stating how we'd feel/react.

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[–] Trev (887) 3 years ago

When I said "You" I meant in a more general, broad sense example, as in, me, or anyone. Not specifically you (Hans-Wilhelm)

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