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So many alternatives for "drunk". Are there any alternatives for "sober"?

All of mine sound silly in English (the ones that can even be translated), but I'll give it a go.

Someone's Mata Hari, Mortal Combat, Up the cherry tree, Entered the Matrix, or just drunk themselves into a swine (not sexualy, but into a general swine-like state).

Tipsy
Polluted
Sloshed
Sauced to the gills

Tight.

I think it's pretty archaic, but I remember reading it in some old literature.

Eouforic

Dazed and confuzed

Straight from Google translate;

* Ape-straight
* Good in the gas
* Farmhand drunk
* Drunk as a pan
* Cannon
* Full karate
* Insufferable (most likely)
* On the ear
* Round underfoot
* Swine drunk

in your cups

Drunker than Cootie Brown.