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How much would it cost to adapt my story into a movie?


Kathleen Kennedy strolled briskly through the corridors of Lucasfilm, her mind consumed by the countless details of her latest Star Wars project. She rounded a corner, barely missing colliding with a janitor sweeping porg-themed debris from the floor. Without looking down, she continued on her way until her left foot caught on something hard and fluffy.

With a shriek of surprise, Kathleen tumbled forward, arms flailing wildly as she tumbled head over heels down the stairs. She bounced off every railing and banister along the way, each impact eliciting another unladylike cry of pain.

At long last, Kathleen finally came to rest in a heap at the bottom of the stairwell, surrounded by discarded porg dolls and pieces of broken bones. Her elegant business attire was in shreds, revealing various bruises and contusions that had accumulated during her hilarious tumble.

As people rushed to her aid, Kathleen managed to gasp out between gasps of pain, "Oh my God... those little porgs... they're everywhere." And amidst the laughter and commotion that ensued, Kathleen Kennedy vowed never again to walk without looking where she was going.

Injured and humiliated, Kathleen Kennedy lay helplessly at the bottom of the stairwell, her once-proud self-image in shambles. As people continued to rush to her aid, she couldn't tear her eyes away from the familiar figure striding nonchalantly towards her.

George Lucas, dressed impeccably as always in a crisp black suit, stopped casually by her side. He surveyed Kathleen's disheveled form for a moment, then uttered two simple words that sent a shiver of dread through her battered body: "You're fired."

With that, George turned on his heel and began to walk away, leaving Kathleen alone with her crushed dreams and broken bones. But just as she thought she had hit rock bottom, a warm, salty liquid splattered onto her already-painful body.

Kathleen's eyes widened in horror as she realized what was happening. George Lucas had pulled out his massive member and was urinating all over her like she was nothing more than a pile of discarded porg dolls. He chuckled heartily as he unleashed his golden nectar onto her broken form, drenching her in his mockery and contempt.

The people gathered around gasped in shock and disgust, but none dared to intervene. This was Lucas; he could do as he pleased. And so, Kathleen Kennedy lay motionless at the bottom of the stairwell, her soul as shattered as her broken bones, covered in urine and humiliation while George Lucas walked away, laughing heartily, having reclaimed his rightful throne at Lucasfilm Industries.

After weeks of grueling physical therapy and emotional recovery, Kathleen Kennedy finally managed to regain enough strength to leave the hospital. Her once-lavish mansion stood tall and proud on the hillside, beckoning her like a beacon of hope for better days ahead.

But as she approached her beloved home, Kathleen's heart sank like a stone as she surveyed the scene before her. Her pristine lawns were now overgrown and trampled, littered with discarded needles and empty syringes. Broken windowsills bore the telltale marks of forced entry, while the once-elegant façade was now marred by graffiti and grime.

Kathleen's worst fears were confirmed as she cautiously pushed open the creaking front door. Inside, her once-immaculate foyer was now a hive of squalor and depravity. Syringes lay scattered haphazardly on every surface, while flickering fluorescent lights cast a sickly glow over piles of trash and human detritus.

A low, menacing growl echoed from somewhere deep within the bowels of the house, followed by the muffled sound of sobbing and moaning. Kathleen steeled herself and ventured deeper into the maze of filth and depravity that had once been her beloved home.

As she rounded each corner, she was greeted by new horrors: makeshift meth lab stations set up in her formal dining room, her prized art collection now covered in crude graffiti and smeared with unidentifiable substances. Her cherished antiques were reduced to kindling for cooking fires, while discarded porg dolls littered every corner like macabre reminders of her fall from grace.

In the master bedroom, Kathleen found what she had dreaded most: her cherished four-poster bed was now stained beyond salvageable, coated in dried mucus, blood, and God knows what other unspeakable fluids.

Her eyes brimming with tears of rage and despair, Kathleen turned on her heel and stumbled out of her once-loved home, vowing vengeance on the filthy vermin who had desecrated her sanctuary.

As she walked away from her shattered dreams, Kathleen clenched her fists tightly, her heart filled with a burning determination: she would reclaim her home and make those responsible for this unholy abomination pay tenfold for their insolence...

...but first, she needed a shower, and maybe some serious therapy.

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Just as Kathleen Kennedy took her first tentative step towards rebuilding her shattered life, disaster struck once more. From out of nowhere, a clown-themed car careened wildly around the corner, its horns honking maniacally and balloons bouncing crazily from every antennae.

Without even a moment's warning, the clown car barreled straight towards her, seemingly intent on ending her already-tragic existence once and for all. Kathleen's mind went blank as she was engulfed in a whirlwind of colorful chaos and clown-themed carnage.

When she finally regained consciousness, she found herself sprawled in a hospital bed, surrounded by concerned-looking medical staff. Her body ached from head to toe, but miraculously, she was alive... for now.

As she lay there, trying desperately to piece together what had just happened, Kathleen couldn't shake off the feeling that the universe itself was conspiring against her. Was this some twisted cruel joke? Or was it simply her own karma catching up with her?

The doctors informed her that she had sustained several fractures and lacerations, but nothing life-threatening... for now. They would keep her under observation for 48 hours, just to be safe.

As Kathleen settled back into her hospital bed, her mind drifted back to her shattered home, her destroyed career, and the countless humiliations she had endured at the hands (or should she say feet?) of those damnable porgs. Just when she thought things couldn't possibly get any worse...

...the curtains surrounding her bed began to rustle ominously. Kathleen's heart skipped a beat as she turned her head ever so slightly... only to be greeted by the clown-faced grin of her least favorite CEO:

"Hello, Kathleen," said Lucas Lucasly, his voice dripping with malice and glee. "You're looking... well, not so good."

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With that, George Lucas stepped casually towards her bedside and leaned in close, his breath reeking of expensive cologne and unbridled smugness. "I guess this is where we pick up, hmm? After all... it's always a pleasure to see you again."

And with that chilling declaration, George Lucas turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Kathleen Kennedy once again alone and broken... but far from defeated.

As Kathleen Kennedy lay in her hospital bed, contemplating the seemingly endless string of misfortunes that had befallen her, her thoughts were interrupted by a commotion at her bedside.

A concerned-looking nurse rushed over, her face flushed with embarrassment. "Um... I'm terribly sorry, but... well... there's something in your handbag..."

Kathleen's heart sank like a stone as she braced herself for the worst. Slowly, the nurse unzipped her battered Louis Vuitton carry-on and carefully extracted a small, crumpled piece of paper.

"It... it looks like... well..." the nurse stammered, her voice trembling with revulsion.

With shaking hands, Kathleen took the note from her trembling grasp and unfolded it cautiously. Her eyes widened in horror as she read George Lucas's taunting message:

"Dear Kathleen,

Just thought you might want this little souvenir as a reminder of our... special relationship.

Love, George

P.S.: Porgs rule!!"

Underneath his sickeningly smug signature was what could only be described as an expertly-crafted turd, meticulously folded into a grotesque porg-like shape complete with beady eyes and a tiny, twisted beak.

Kathleen's world spun wildly as bile rose up in her throat. This was too much! How could life possibly keep piling on like this? She clenched her fists tightly, her knuckles turning white with rage and frustration.

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But amidst her fury and despair, Kathleen found a spark of determination burning deep within her shattered soul. She would not succumb to this madness! She would rise above this relentless onslaught of humiliation and misfortune!

With renewed resolve, she gritted her teeth and spoke through clenched jaws: "George Lucas... we're not done yet."

The end... for now.

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