I can see why she might have disliked the role, in real life Dunne was a highly respected professional woman, and it must have rankled to play someone who has devoted her entire life to dealing with her husband's thoughtlessness and selfishness, and who doesn't have a way out.
Vinnie isn't stupid but she's indirect, manipulative, and dishonest, at least with her husband, because that's the only way she can get what she wants. I've seen this in real life, some relatives had an extremely unequal marriage and the wife dealt with her bad-tempered husband the same way, she never said exactly what she meant or asked for what she wanted, because if she did the husband would bark "No" or "Shut up". and that would be that. To a blunt, plain-speaking person like myself it seems like a hellish way to live, which is why I've never liked this movie much.
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