MovieChat Forums > I Love Lucy (1951) Discussion > Improved Dialogue Suggestions

Improved Dialogue Suggestions

posted 9 months ago by Garyandfilm (515)
3 replies | jump to latest

This topic has been covered several times before, but I thought it would be fun to start a thread on this.

Mine: in the Madame X ep, it's revealed that Fred has a birthday soon.

LUCY: "Oh, Fred I didn't know you had a birthday coming up."

Really? The foursome have been friends for 13 years and Lucy doesn't at least know the MONTH of Fred's birthday??

My improvement:

LUCY: "Oh, Fred I forgot you had a birthday coming up!"

Not a super big deal, but this line sounds more believable to me.

Any others?

[–] AndrewHNPX2 (120) 9 months ago

In Lucy's Mother-In-Law when Ethel tells her horror stories about when Fred's mother (who must be pushing 100 at least) comes to visit.

It should have been something like "Oh I remember when we were first married and Fred's mother would come to visit".

[–] Garyandfilm (515) 9 months ago

I sometimes think the joke is that Fred's mother is still LIVING! But coming over at 90-plus years to "inspect" for dirt and dust?? I agree the line should've read your way, otherwise the improbability of Fred's mother in the present-tense is distracting.

From "Equal Rights": in the throwaway dialogue while the four are preparing to leave for the restaurant, Fred mentions (twice) that a plumber is coming by "this afternoon." Huh? It's nighttime. Should've been "tomorrow afternoon."

[–] pjpurple@verizon.net (5551) 9 months ago

Yes, Ethel's mother-in-law is the first one I thought to mention. Since Lucy and Ethel were so close for so many years, surely Lucy would know when Fred's mom came for a visit.

The way Ethel tells it, it's as if Lucy never knows when Fred's mom comes to visit.

A better line would have been, "Mothers-in-law can be so nosy. You remember how Fred's mom does an inspection every time that she visits us."