The Church of Beaver Cleaver

https://www.paganlibrary.com/humor/church_of_beaver_cleaver.php

THE VISION OF THE SQUARED CIRCLE

On the evening of January 9th, 1981, The two Elders of the CHURCH OF BEAVER CLEAVER, Rev. Elvon Prezton and Rev. Solomon Bombay, at that time two misguided and lazy mugs, were watching Wrestling on cable T.V. and drinking coffee. Just as the American Dream, DUSTY RHOADES was discussing in vivid and glowing terms his next opponent with nationally syndicated wrestling commentator GORDON SOLLIE, the set went blank and started to emit a bright cobalt blue beam of light. The two Elders were held transfixed in the ray and astrally transported into the circuits of the Quasar television where they met with the Prophet LARRY MONDELLO inside a bogus silicon chip.

In the elapsed earth time of 2 minutes, the Prophet showed the Elders every episode of LEAVE IT TO BEAVER including some rare outtakes and imparted both Esoteric and the Exoteric philosophy of WARD. The prophet Larry also revealed the HIDDEN SECRET which is known on earth only by the Elders and can be only hinted at presently because of certain worldwide preparations to be made before the time is right for unveiling.

The Elders found themselves in front of the television with an extremely unpleasent case of sunburn. Although only two minutes had passsed by the clock, they had actually been with the Prophet for 6 years. The Elders finoshed watching Wrestling and began to disassemble the television in search of the chip. Needless to say the chipo was never found and they couldn't put the set back together, so they bought a new one at a Motel furnishing sale. Late that night the Elders drew up the charter of the CHURCH OF BEAVER CLEAVER.
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DO YOU BELIEVE IN PROSPERITY???
WHAT HAPPENED TO
THE AMERICAN SPIRIT??
DO YOU REMEMBER MORALS??
The CHURCH OF BEAVER CLEAVER answers question to todays problems with it's declaration of the creed;

"I BELIEVE IN THE BEAVE"
BEAVER AND UFO'S!!
-ELECTROMAGNETIC BRAIN SCANS-
WHO REALLY SHOT J.F.K.???
WHAT DID WARD REALLY DO IN W.W. II ??