THIS IS WHY I HATE ROBERT ALTMAN

Why oh why do I keep falling for the same trick?

I'm going along - living my life - and I see something like ‘AFI 100’ or ‘Best Movies on topic XYZ’ - and one of Robert Altman's movies is in the pile.

And I think – “But I hate Robert Altman!” He's a terrible director with ONE shot in his bag of tricks (PUSH IN - PUSH IN - NOW PULL BACK!) No talent for changing an actor's range or help tell the story. Just Push in with the freakin' camera and then pull back.

Then I think - But how bad could it be? I've never watched MASH - perhaps I should.

So I did.

And this - is why I hate Robert Altman.

His movies are not narrative stories – and this one is no different. It's a loosely weaved bunch of slapstick skits where misogynistic guys sexually harass every female in sight, tell dick jokes and treat a young Korean boy as a slave. If they had only dropped the N word – the rainbow of racism and sexism would be complete.

I can think of 1000 ways to show the degradation of war and what it does to the human spirit – how humor is a tool for survival. By the end I wished a these a-holes would take a hint from the theme song!!!

And the movie’s all time most WTF moment - why did Hot Lips suddenly become a cheerleader at the end?