"Trying is the first step toward failure."
My favorite Homer quote, probably favorite Simpsons quote too.
Add yours, please! Not just Homer stuff.
From my favourite episode, 'Lisa on Ice' (really I could quote that whole episode)
Marge: I don't care who started it. I don't ever want to see you two fighting like that ever again. We love you both: you're not in competition with each other! Repeat: you are not in competition with each other!
Homer: Hey! Apu just called. This Friday, Lisa's team is playing Bart's team. You're in direct competition. And don't go easy on each other just because you're brother and sister. I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
And
Homer: I don't want anyone to give her a hard time just because she's different: no jokes, no taunting... Look, that kid's got bosoms! Who's got a wet towel? Come here, you butterball!
Üter: Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate!