3 Favorite Quotes - The Last Boy Scout (1991) Discussion

[–] leroyol 14 years ago

The Scene with the Scrabble guy was my funniest sscene lol!!!!!!! Shane did an excellent job, I don't see how people could hate on him for making the money he did...he deserved it!

"I have a lot of energy. I'm a lot stronger than most people." -Rutger Hauer

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[–] melancholykeith 14 years ago

This movie is awesome!
only 3 quotes..hmmm..
I love the dialogue between Hallenbeck and the thug in the alley who was about to kill him, espically how Joe tell the thug how his wife described him as " a big pimp lookin MF in a hat"
Also love Jimmy's line when arriving at Joe's house "I feel like I have been rode hard and put away wet" use that one all the time
or when Hallenbeck is waking up in his car at the start of the movie after the squirrel incident, saying to himself in the mirror "nobody likes you, everybody hates you, your going to lose, smile you *beep*

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[–] jgofett 14 years ago

Thug:You're pretty funny for a man about to take a bullet.
Bruce:After *beep* your wife I'll take two...

Bruce: I'm not your *beep* son.

Wayans: *beep* were getting our asses kicked by the inventor of scrabble.

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[–] 14 years ago

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[–] 14 years ago

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[–] SuperSonicX 14 years ago

I have way more than three:

"You spilled my warm cup of piss."
"FAST FORWARD EATS THE TAPE!"
*After someone calls Joe a "real bastard"* "..And then some."
"Okay, what would Joe do at a time like this? He'd kill everybody and smoke some cigarettes."
*After the police lieutenant notions to Joe that he needs a shave* "Too risky, I might start thinkin' about you and slash my wrists."
"If you go any faster, we're gonna travel back through time."
"The sky is blue, water is wet, women have secrets. Who gives a fnck?"
"Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You're gonna lose. Smile, you fnck."
"Eat sh*t, you fncking redneck!"

"Don't believe everything you hear on the radio." - Charles Foster Kane

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[–] philoj 12 years ago

And don't forget this one, said so somberly:

"I wish the sky wasn't blue, I wish water wasn't wet, and I wish I didn't still love my wife"

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[–] WU_KILLABEE 14 years ago

YOU THINK YOUR SO *beep* COOL DONT YOU???

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[–] sascha-17 14 years ago

Thug: Wrong time, wrong place - nuthin' personal...
Joe: Yeah, that's what you think ... last night I fncked your wife.
Thug: Oh, you did, huh? Well, how d'you know she was *my* wife?
Joe: She said her husband was a big pimp-looking motherfncker with a hat
Thug: Oooh, you *real* cool for a guy 'bout to take a bullet.
Joe: After fnckin' your wife I'll take two.

Thug: Now, where do you want it? In the chest ... or in the head?
Joe: Yeah, that's what your wife said ...
Thug: Hey, will you stop with the wife-sh!t, man?!
Joe: Ask me how fat she is ..
Thug (hesitates, then grins curiously): How fat is she?
Joe: She's so fat I had to roll her in flour to find the wet spot
Thug: (starts laughing)
Joe: You wanna fnck her, just slap her thigh and ride the wave in
Thug: (laughs hysterically)
Joe: Well, I'm not sayin' she's fat, but her highschool-picture was an aerial-photograph..
Thug (still laughing, until Joe rams a broken bottle into his throat)
... utters: You bastard..!
Joe: ... and then some

Ahh.. the good old days when action-movies were highly quotable and had action-scenes you could actually *enjoy*.

*sigh*

Oh, and I almost forgot:

Joe: She's *13* years old, jerk-off. You look at her funny I'm gonna stick an umbrella up your ass and open it!

Joe: $650?
Jimmy: Yeah
Joe: The pants?
Jimmy: Yup
Joe: You wear 'em?
Jimmy: YES!
Joe: They don't have, like, a TV in 'em or somethin'?
Jimmy: Nope
*pause*
Joe: I'm *very* old ...

Joe: Sure.. it just happened. It was an accident, right? You tripped, slipped on the floor and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife..?

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[–] Dustbowler 14 years ago

"I was lonely!"
"Get a dog."

"It's my high school numbers, it's a football thing."
"So when do you graduate?"

"Ain't life a bitch?"

Who says violence is not the answer?

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[–] crash20015 14 years ago

Lieutenant Benjamin Bessalo: There's a new invention out. It's called the razor.
Joe Hallenbeck: Too risky, I might start thinkin' about you and slash my wrists.

Milo: I trust you're alone.
Jimmy Dix: No, I got the *beep* Vienna Boys Choir with me. What, is everybody stupid around here?

Joe Hallenbeck: It doesn't look like a bomb, it looks like an apple with lines comin' out of it. They're gonna say "Don't open the briefcase, it's full of fresh fruit!"

There's also the scene by the pool with Hallenback after he kills the guy and Milo approaches. He almost introduces himself before Joe cuts him off and he's like "Lemme guess, you're the bad guy right?" "And I'm supposed to be shaking in fear, something like that?"

LOL... the delivery, facial expression and overall execution of that line was absolutely perfect.

But yeah, my 3 favorite quotes. I'm actually watching the movie now on the IFC station here in Canada. One of my favorite movies of all time!.

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[–] koffeenkreame41-1 14 years ago

Joe: She's 13, and if you even look at her funny, I'll shove an umbrella up your ass and open it.

Jimmy: Great, we're gettin' beat up by the inventer of scrabble.

Joe Hallenbeck: It doesn't look like a bomb, it looks like an apple with lines comin' out of it. They're gonna say "Don't open the briefcase, it's full of fresh fruit!"

Lt. Bessalo: There's a new invention out. It's called the razor.
Joe: Too risky, I might start thinkin' about you and slash my wrists.

This movie has soooo many great lines. Great movie, very underrated.

"I am the ultimate badass, you do not wanna `*beep*` wit' me!" Hudson in Aliens.

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[–] waz_fukashima 13 years ago

continues....

Joe Hallenbeck: I forgot to tell you. Bom means Fork you in Polish.
Jimmy Dix: Hey, that's not funny, man. I almost bought it there!
Joe Hallenbeck: Tragic loss to the art world, let me tell ya.

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[–] gwnightscream 13 years ago

Here's my 3:

*beep* you Sarah, you're a lying Bi**h and if
the cops weren't here I'd spit in your face."

"Touch me again I'll kill ya."

"I forgot to tell ya, bom means *beep* you in polish!"

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[–] Hey_Sweden 13 years ago

"She's so fat I had to slap her thigh and ride the wave in."

"She's 13 years old. You so much as look at her funny and I'll shove an umbrella up your ass and open it."

"Make her one on your nose scale. Improve your looks."

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[–] jbi390 13 years ago

There is a subplot in this movie about Joe having been a member of the Secret Service years ago during the Carter Administration. He was fired for punching Senator Banard while Banard was beating a woman in his hotel bathroom. Joe's boss wants to know if Joe has been making recent anonymous threatening phone calls to the senator. Joe's boss tells another detective why he thinks Joe has been making the calls. A little later Jimmy witnesses the other detective praising Joe for his chivalry in the situation. Joe never admits to anything leaving you wondering. Later in the movie, Joe says he needs to call the senator and Jimmy wonders how he got the number. Joe says "so I made a couple of calls to him". Jimmy just smiles.

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[–] koffeenkreame41-1 13 years ago

LOL, I loved that part too.

"I am the ultimate badass, you do not wanna `*beep*` wit' me!" Hudson in Aliens.

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[–] dylanletters-1 13 years ago

"Last night I popped your wife." "How did you know it was my wife?" She told me her husband was a big pimp with a hat." You're cool for a guy about to take a bullet." "I popped you wife, I'll take two.

"Furry Tom thinks this is the first puppet you guys have seen in a long time."

"I would cut off 3 of my fingers if God will let me take her."

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[–] 13 years ago

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[–] orodesol 12 years ago

I wanna know what's going on
Watch CNN

No that wasn't no liquor talkin'..

Sure sure, it just happened. It was an accident. Coulda happened to anyone. You were running, you slipped and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife. Woops, i'm sorry Mrs H, i guess this just isn't my week.

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[–] orodesol 12 years ago

I mean almost every line could be on this thread

Bom means FU in polish

Gimme the keys or i shoot the kid.
Daddy!
Shh..

Here happy birthday, buy yourself a new pair of pants

(after keying Marcone's car)
I always wanted to do that
Shoulda shi t on it..

You were kicked off the fu ckin team!
How'd you like to get kicked off the fu cking planet?

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[–] Wheeljack79 12 years ago

"Give it up Jimmy... we're dealing with geniuses"

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[–] iffy619 12 years ago

I laughed way too hard when he said that

"Whoo-ah"

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[–] koffeenkreame41-1 12 years ago

Agreed, iffy, great line, here's another one:

Sure sure, it just happened. It was an accident. Coulda happened to anyone. You were running, you slipped and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife. Woops, I'm sorry Mrs H., I guess this just isn't my week.

Joe: Lemme guess, you're the bad guy.
Milo: Yep.
Joe: I'm supposed to be trembling with fear?
Milo: Something like that.
Joe: Okay.

LOL!! Check your PM, iffy.

"I am the ultimate badass, you do not wanna `*beep*` wit me!"- Hudson in Aliens.

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[–] the_editor76 12 years ago

"If I get out of this alive, I'm going to dance a jig, dance a jig I swear to god"

And then the Jig.

Everytime something good happens, I think of Bruce Willis doing his jig.

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[–] coolguyjames_nz 11 years ago

God damn, did everyone forget:

"I'm sorry, i'm still busy trying to figure out what one of you looks the most like my dick"

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