ehh

“Andre” follows “Free Willy” and a host of other child-and-their-pet movies, only this one claims to be based on a true story. And as much as that story is adorable, that’s about how true the movie actually is.


The Andre in this film is a baby seal who crawls into the boat of a Maine Harbor Master, named Whitney (Keith Carradine), and winds up being embraced by the man’s family and eventually a celebrity in his own right. Tina Majorino plays the family’s youngest daughter, Toni, and she is the one who develops the closest bond with the animal that she promises to care for.


The built-in sweetness of this endeavor arrives early. It’s hard not to be taken by Whitney, a sort of eccentric inventor, developing a way that will allow Andre to take milk. The bond between Andre and Toni should also please little kids- Andre soon becomes adept at blowing out candles of a birthday cake, performing tricks with a basketball and doing The Peppermint Twist (the film takes place in the 60’s). He can also be funny and expressive, such as blowing raspberries at anyone or anything he doesn’t like.


This is a movie that really starts to feel adrift by its halfway mark though. The subplots and conflicts become numerous but fairly tame to the point where we just feel like we’re watching Lassie at Sea. There’s a needlessly cruel local lobster fisherman (Keith Szarabajka) so upset that Andre is making his job harder that he hurls a pitchfork at it at one point. There are also times where Andre is nearly shot or freezes to death or is threatened with being taken away by wildlife commissioners, where dad is nearly blown up if not for Andre, and there is a painfully manipulative big finale where Andre has to save little Toni, who goes out to sea in only a dinghy but gets caught in a storm. Then there’s the older sister, a brat who selfishly only thinks about boys and begins a relationship, of course, with the son of the pitchfork wielder.

I say all this is tame because “Andre” has such a light touch of working everything out that the film really only feels like mild comfort food. There are things I would have liked to know, like is it even safe, for the family or for him, to keep this type of animal as a pet? You won’t find any big answers here. This movie just coasts on cuteness, episodic conflict, and dramatic license. It’s not bad, but contains very little of actual interest.