MovieChat Forums > You've Got Mail (1998) Discussion > I just can't get past how he treated her...

I just can't get past how he treated her...


...on their 'blind' date. He was such an asshole, way more than he had to be. It would be one thing to just not show up, but to go in and torment her crossed the line for me.

Made me not care about them getting together anymore. No matter how much of a 'nice guy' he was to her in their emails, doing that to her on their date revealed his true character.

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It was pretty cold. OTOH, he was just eviscerated on tv and she was on screen and called him out. He must have been ticked, but, he did not stay that way and soon they had the cute banter going full tilt, which was not really believable, but was eminently watchable.

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To be fair, here are a couple of points in Joe's defense. It was Joe who early on, said that if you have the pleasure of saying the exact thing you want to say at the exact moment you want to say it when you feel provoked, remorse inevitably ensues. And that exact point came full circle when he struggled to find the words to say in his email apology to her the next day. His remorse was obvious, and his words were honest, heartfelt, and clearly chosen to be certain he was not lying to her or making excuses.

Later on, there was also visible regret, when he saw her crying in the children's department of his own store. He was all but crying himself. He came face to face with the hurt he had caused her and felt guilty. I think in the end, before they met in the park, he was truly begging her forgiveness, not necessarily for putting her out of business, but for being the jackass that he was. I think in the end he truly did redeem himself with her.

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It worked perfectly for me. I don't know where you are coming from.

She was the hostile one. He just acted as if he was just randomly running into her, she was the snippy one. I understand his move perfectly.

He already didn't want to go through with the date once he realized it was her. But, he decides to "feel her out" and see if there is any hope of getting past their business rivalry and get along on a personal level. He didn't want to reveal he was the online guy she knew and just interact with her on a personal level. He found that she couldn't get over their personal rivalry and she was nasty to him at the coffee shop. He realized them dating wasn't going to work.

He leaves, intending to never interact with her again due to her hatred of him only to later have a change of heart as he finally responds back to her online. When he left the coffee shop he planned on severing their online relationship and not communicating with her anymore.

I can understand his "feeling out" strategy at the coffee shop perfectly.

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You forgetting that she slandered him and his company by saying the people that work there cannot read?

She gave as good as she got.

That said it was wrong for him to go in and bother her. Should have just not showed.

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That was the ONLY scene which truly mirrored the target of the remake. The point is that it was the tipping point of the antithetical romance, which is the focus of the entire movie. People aren't perfect, and even good people can make mistakes. The worth of a person isn't whether they make mistakes, because it's guaranteed they will. It's what they do to make up for their mistakes.

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