I'm sure this has been asked before but I thought, hey, what the hell.
I love it when "Michael Jackson" says "I didn't touch her! She's a girl!!!" That cracks me up. And when Cody says, "It's a boy. He's going to be an *beep* Smoke all you want; you're gonna get hit by a bus. That's not fooling anyone." To the people at the funeral. That's pretty hilarious!!!
OH MY GOD! THE ALIENS KILLED THE DINOSOUR!!! - Brenda, Scary Movie 4
I love the flashback with Toms wife, when the driver who hit her, says to Tom; "Hey Tom, I need a ride home later!"
shareI love so many but one that always gets me is 'oh you mean the one where they do it on the boat and then in the car and then in the bathtub? And he's like, "Hey, baby, I love you? and she's like "Where are we?!?"'
Brunettes have no room in show business
i thought that was the funniest too
shareI like all the Cody remarks at the funeral, including this one:
Cody on Staircase, Man and woman exiting side room.
Cody (to man): "You're going to get lucky tonight."
(Man smirks.)
Cody (to woman): "He doesn't know that you're a guy."
Also Cindy crying on George's shoulder after the viewing.
Cindy: "Ohhh, It's so hard!"
George: "That's because you're a beautiful woman and pressed up against me."
Brenda: "Hey Cindy, your TV is leaking"
Brenda: "Another little white girl fell down a well"
This is a faithful saying...Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.
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Tons of funny lines but one line that always cracks me up is at the end when Rza calls Master P "Percival" and says something about some maple syrup lol.
shareThe funeral scene where the ring kid senses the people on the sofa.
"(To a pregnant woman)It's a boy, and he's going to be an *beep* (To a guy, smoking a cigarette.) Smoke all you want. You're going to get hit by a bus. (To a hairless man with a wig) That's not fooling anyone."
Pretty much everything by the Architect (RIP George Carlin).
"We loved our daughter very much, but she was evil. Made the horses crazy. Killed our puppies. Hid the remote. Really sick *beep* My wife took her to the old family farm and drowned her in the well. I felt a simple time-out would have been sufficient."
"My wife and I wanted a child, but she couldn't get pregnant. Neither could I."
Also, I loved Charlie Sheen's line "They mastered space flying but they couldn't get through a wooden door?"
George: I have dream.
Tom:What's your dream
George: To have a dream.
Cody:(To Cindy) your period starts in 3, 2...
And my favorite is when they are in the cellar, George accidentally turns off the light and makes a high pitched scream, Tom says: It's okay Sue, Sue:That was Uncle George.. I always crack up when I see that part.
Cody: Smoke all you want, your going to get hit by a bus.
Kate: The cow says blank, 3 letters
Becca: Dude!
Kate: "Dude"(writes it down.)
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George: You did the story on our cop cycles.
Cindy: Crop Circles!
George: Here's the 611 on that.
Brenda: That's phone repair. You mean 411.
George: Right!
Brenda: Cindy, the tv's leaking.
George: How many are in this thing?
Mahalic: I don't know man, hundred, two hundred whitey hating, chrome packing, ready to bust a cap in any white boy's ass who ain't bringing that sh*t.
(At the audition or whatever you want to call it.)
George: Do you ever wonder when it's time to stop living up here and start living down here?
Mahalic: Oh, but what if we stopped living down here and move over their?
I also like when the Sheriff was leaving Tom's and getting into her car, her hat kept getting bigger and bigger. Like he were high on pot.
I also loved when Cindy forgot him at the beginning, she backed up and crashed into him and he goes flying. That was always so funny.
And also when George was babysitting Cody, he looked down at the table and yelled 'Yahtzee', and smacked his head on the shelf above his head, which knocked him out.