MovieChat Forums > The Loft (2015) Discussion > Why would guys like this get married?

Why would guys like this get married?


A bit off topic, but If you're a rich playboy who can be with a different woman whenever he wants, why bother getting married and need to sneak around? People who cheat on their spouses have always fascinated me. There are a lot of people who get married who know they don't want to, but do anyway. I think they're pressured into it because they think that if they're with someone for a certain amount of time it's the next step. It's probably why there are so many divorces.

reply

I know right? I suppose like you said they are pressured into it most likely by either their family or girlfriends. You are right though, if you know for sure you don't want to be tied down then just don't get married.

reply

...and here are two people who neither understand men nor marriage.

reply

...and here's a man who's afraid to explain himself, because he knows his argument would be inadequate.

reply

There's really not much to explain. If you have to even ask, then he's right, you don't know men at all.

It's a power thrill. These men are wealthy, married, and have full control of their lives. It's easy to be tempted to go even further. Like why do the obscenely wealthy try to gain even more wealth? To see if they can! It's the same thing with powerful men cheating on their wives.

Try not to be so naive ladies.

reply

Uhm, no. Asking questions is not naïve at all. You're an idiot. So your answer is that men who don't want to marry marry because of the thrill of feeling powerful? What's the logic there? Marriage depowers a man (and women). An institution that requires you to check in with anyone but yourself before making decisions for your life is inherently a power-drain. Your answer is not logical.


I met Cinderella once... She's actually kind of a bitch.

reply

Actually they seem to understand both just fine. Are you one of those idiots who would get married, knowing that you don't want to be tied down, and cheat on your spouse? If you don't want to get married, don't do it. In my opinion, marriage is not important because it doesn't mean much of anything. A person can be committed to another without needing the piece of paper (my cousin has been with his girlfriend for going on twenty years, no marriage), while there are many, many people who get married only to cheat... so tell me what is the point of it? People will cheat if they want to cheat, so if you know you don't want to be with just one person for the rest of your life, do not get married. You are only hurting your significant other.

reply

Funkey_Munkey A person can be committed but if you want to fear a piece of paper it proves you are NOT committed in the first place! What are you scared of if you have the same commitment without paper? Oh yeah COMMITMENT!

reply

All of you people seem to think that cheating on someone necessarily means you don't love that person. People cheat for tons of different reasons. They married someone they loved and then years later (or I suppose in Phillip's case, like, a day later) they just cheat because of X reason. Maybe they got drunk and they let their passions get the better of them, or they were seduced and have very low willpower, or something to that effect.

Now I'm not CONDONING cheating, and I'm not defending it either. Just explaining that love and infidelity are not mutually exclusive.

reply

hellnback1234 No if you cheat, you LOVE the best of both worlds! Because if your spouse did it and made the same excuse you would be pissed! REAL love is sacrificing not giving in to temptation and not using "love" as an excuse! You deserved to get destroyed. all your hopes and dreams wiped out!

reply

Hah! Women...

reply

Cyn has a point. Don't be a hypocrite.


I met Cinderella once... She's actually kind of a bitch.

reply

I can't understand it either. I looked over the cast list- these characters all have smoking hot wives. I suffer from Aspergers Syndrome and as such am still single at age 29. I haven't had a girlfriend in six years, haven't had a date with someone I didn't meet online in seven. I just can't understand why someone with a gorgeous wife would not only look to cheat but bring four friends in on it to coordinate it.

reply

I just can't understand why someone with a gorgeous wife would not only look to cheat


They probably think they've peaked. At the end of the line.


but bring four friends in on it to coordinate it


Dragging others down with you, validates your behaviour, loosely.

reply

just can't understand why someone with a gorgeous wife would not only look to cheat but bring four friends in on it to coordinate it.


all the attempted explanations fail. The truth is it's in the biology of men to cheat. very rarely can a man be monogamous.

Joseph Chastainme
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Marks-the-series/806493646056177

reply

theunopeneddoor-697-442391 Your comment is an epic fail! You been in the bedroom of EVERY man on the face of the earth?? Then how the hell do you know that most men cheat? You DONT! Its an excuse to hide behind to keep you doing that! You think women are just devoted to ONE man??? Woman can have side dudes too! And I can tell you are the type that want to live in a dream world - have the pussy buffet but God forbid if SHE cheats! Then you would toss yourself off a roof!

reply

[deleted]

People get married for selfish reasons, thinking that a spouse is going to somehow fulfill some need they have. Marriage is about selflessness and giving, and thus growing in your character. When two people go in with that in mind (or at least learn it on the way), marriage is amazing.

👷👳
Bob the Builder and Hadji walk into a bar...

reply

People get married for a lot of reasons. They fall in love, or their parents pressure them, or they think society expects it, or they want to join a wealthier family, or to prove they're straight, or to have children, or to gain higher respect and status in society. Some expect to stay faithful and stray later, but some know from the beginning they won't be.

reply

People like the constant (the woman at home) but also want the variety of others. Unfortunately, this is unacceptable within society.

They go through with the marriage, because they want to feel needed. Another woman every night Is superficial, no matter how you spin it - There's no emotion there.

reply

Why would guys like this get married? Because it seemed like a good idea at the time

- "is this the secret headquarters of the gestapo?"
- "It was"

reply

we have our winner here :clap:

How come signatures aren't cursive anymore

reply

There's a social status issue that comes with being married. It can be professionally beneficial as it conveys a capacity for stability and responsibility.

A married man appears to be a contributing member of society and building a family conveys a stronger sense of trustworthiness.
Basically, there are benefits to being married that transcend the relationship, itself.

reply

There's a social status issue that comes with being married. It can be professionally beneficial as it conveys a capacity for stability and responsibility.

A married man appears to be a contributing member of society and building a family conveys a stronger sense of trustworthiness.
Basically, there are benefits to being married that transcend the relationship, itself.


I think this is the most accurate answer.

I don't know the characters' full story but I take it they're somewhat wealthy and on some level, powerful. Their wives, like most things in their lives, serve a function. They're physically attractive, will make a good mother, and are social. However, guys like this probably want to get their kink on and the wife is not the best candidate for that.

I think we're judging these characters (or people like them) with our own conservative and practical sensibilities. I don't think the scenario that motivates the story is all that ridiculous these days even if you're not one who agrees with the behavior. And really, it's nothing new.

reply

im judging these characters because of the devastation people like them cause in society and in the lives of children.

i honestly wish they all went to prison for making false statements to the police, drug posession, rape, failure to report a rape, etc etc etc.

reply

Then they should marry someone who is okay with an open marriage and be honest with them, rather than marry someone who expects monogamy and then cheat on them.

reply

"It seemed like the Thing to do at the time"...

there is a certain degree of societal pressure to 'settle down' by a certain age... or at least pretend to...

combine that with 'Keeping up appearances' if the Family business has a public image, it can help to look familial

or 'doing the right thing' when 'Plan-B' isn't enough...


I'm sure they all had their reasons... the bigger issue would be that they all come together in their 'D-Baggery' and pool their resources for a single 'love nest Timeshare'

reply

When you go into marriage your mindset is to give 100% of the time. When both spouses have that mentality it all goes well because that 100% will drop with one or the other so the one who is stronger at that time will help the other. Over time that draws the two closer and deeper in love.
Anything outside this results in disaster.
Sadly most get married for what was described above - social acceptance, and a feeling that you have accomplished something.
I have seen so many marriages collapse because one spouse or both have warped and twisted mindsets.

reply

The same question I wanted to ask and I want to ask the women too (I am a woman and I know that women cheat too), my belief is that they get married to put on the image that they are successful business men who are happily married and with children.

reply

If you're a rich playboy who can be with a different woman whenever he wants


I realize you were asking a general question, but in the context of The Loft, only Vince (Karl Urban) fits that model. Phil marries money, and I guess is sort of a player, although really he's too obviously crazy to maintain it.

Marty is a fat, vulgar slob who actually loves his wife very much. He's no playboy. Luke is a voyeur, not a player; he's also the nerdiest one of the bunch. And Chris (James Marsden) says he's never cheated before - which seems to be true - and actually falls in love with the woman he cheats with. He's not rich, either, unless his wife has money. He's also sort of nice but weak, not an alpha type at all.

Vince is the only one of the five for whom marriage doesn't seem to make sense. Phil married for money, and the other three were born to be married.

reply

I don't have half of what they have and I would never get married if I thought for a moment I would want to be with someone else. From my experience on Earth I realize women are just as superficial as guy's, only with money and good looks, if I found a woman who actually liked me for me, I would never jeopardize it on somebody who was attractive but didn't like me for me, despite my previously said good looks and money. Realness is way more attractive than models. I learned this lesson in real time.

reply

At the beginning of the movie there seemed to be big problems in Chris' marriage. His wife (and I love Rhona Mitra) looked tired, stressed, and very unhappy. She had a bad attitude. I don't know what had gone on between them, but their marriage was in bad shape.

What bothered me with all those guys (and with the wives, too, as far as I could tell) was that no one ever even mentioned their kids. They didn't seem to matter to any of them. I think Chris was basically a good, honest guy, and I doubt if he would ever have cheated if his marriage wasn't having problems.

Boo Hoo! Let me wipe away the tears with my PLASTIC hand!--Lindsey McDonald (Angel)

reply

essex9999 You are willing to stick your dick in any hole then NO you do NOT love your spouse! You love cheating and love that your spouse is stupid enough not to catch you!

reply