Ideas for scaring the last fans away?


Apparently, purple haired incompetent rebel leaders and old hobos drinking green milk wasn’t enough to scare all Star Wars fans away!

Pitch your ideas for Episode IX to ensure that the movie will be the last in the franchise!

Examples:

- Imply heavily that Leia’s and Han’s marriage didn’t work because Han was gay

- Imply heavily that Luke sought exile because he was gay

- The Chinese girl who cries all the time finds a holotape which proves that Admiral Ackbar was a bad military leader

- A musical number a la Jedi Rocks. Perhaps force ghost Anakin and Kylo singing “Just the Two of Us”

- Kill of the remaining male chauvinist pigs in the resistance (i.e. all the men including Chewie) or at least make some of them gay, especially Poe

- There should absolutely be no women in The First Order. Make everyone more Harvey Weinstein-like. The First Order men should all be white, fat, screaming, aggressive, and constantly sweating.

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Well, I keep hearing Lando might be in it so they, of course, will totally change the character of who he was (subvert our expectations) and makes him some loser and then they can kill him off in some stupid way.

They can have brave, loyal, devoted R2 turn on the good guys and betray them and kill him (mechanically destroy him since he isn't alive)

Kill off C3-PO.

Have Chewbacca leave the rebellion and then kill him off in some stupid way.

They can bring back force ghost Luke (since Rian killed him off in some dumb way.....you could have had Luke for 3 movies but why do that.....let's just have him in one (plus a 10 second tease in another and then change every single thing that was good about the character into bad and then kill him off before the last film.) and ruin the Luke character even more by having him be some more bitter "anti-Luke" ghost. They can ruin him even more.

Maybe ruin Jedi by un-turning Vader. Make him bad again. Bring back the prequel Vader actor and have him be a "bad" force ghost coaching Kylo to do evil.

Have Rey be able to just Force destroy Star Destroyers and crush 10 Tie Fighters simultaneously with the Force while she is sitting in the Falcon. Let's just have her be the most powerful Jedi ever.....without ever getting any training, without her having to struggle and fail and to face any trials......she is just good at everything on the very first try and never has to practice and never fails at anything.

Technically they've already driven me away. Never having Han, Luke and Leia in even one scene together? Killing them all off before the 3rd film? Ruining every heroic trait Luke had....ruining him? Ruining Han then killing him in just one film. Not having the 3 films roughly arched out and letting one director have free reign to destroy everything the previous director set up and to let each director just make it up as they go, weaponizing light speed and messing with canon...etc. I'm done seeing any SW films.

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Kill off C3-PO

🙄

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Have Rey be able to just Force destroy Star Destroyers and crush 10 Tie Fighters simultaneously with the Force while she is sitting in the Falcon.


Close.

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- Captain Marvel makes an appearance in the 11th hour, saving our heroes!

- Big reveal! Palpatine build R2D2!

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Close. Palpatine is R2D2. Why do you think he attacked Yoda the first time they met?

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[deleted]

- Make every existing straight white male evil or weak

...oh wait they did that already

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