Ideas for scaring the last fans away?

[deleted]

They must just make a movie like TLJ and this franchise is over….

Shmi comes back from the dead via cloning technology to tell Rey that the Force raped her producing Anakin, the height of all male destructive force. It did so by being incredible nice to her in public and giving her opportunities no other slave would get - displaying its lording over her with aplomb to trick other people into thinking it was a wise and gentle force. She has no record of the bad stuff though and Rey has to take her at her word...until...

...A set of holocubes showing Padme's suffering years of abuse from Anakin surfaces ala 13 Reasons Why style. It is genuine abuse that we witness but it's all on a grotesque level like Padme not being able to eat anything as Anakin would use his telekinetic abilities to keep it from her mouth or him sensing the future to tell her the end of a movie or book she's enjoying. Real nasty stuff that Skywalker is.

Aunt Beru shows up and explains how she had to fake her own death to get away from Owen Lars. He only ever bought BLUE MILK! She hates BLUE MILK and wanted her and Luke to get green milk, so he could grow up to be a big strong boy. It turns out that scene which really hit home when you first saw it was nothing more than a bag of coal and some womp rat bone. Owen was down at Tosche Station at the time trying to get Luke a placement on the Empire's engineering program and comes home to find everyone gone (Presumed dead). He takes his own life after that.

It turns out that Palpatine was a trans-man trying to bring the peaceful nice feminine side of the Force to the Jedi but failed because the Jedi were all supporters of Jabba the Trump. Rose talks to the camera at the end and tells the audiences that they are all very naughty boys.

Directed by James Gunn.

Rap music, slang, self aware references to Star Trek, hot button political allegories like global warming, coke product placement,

Non-force user band together in protest against the Jedi and the Sith and all the violence it creates. They call themselves "Antifo" and become the new threat to galactic peace.

One thing is for sure, they need to include at least four or five LGBTQ+ characters in the third one

They should go all in on the "Lando is pansexual" thing and have the first explicit sex scene in Star Wars history by showing him in an orgy with Maz Katana, Poe Dameron, Finn, and a thing from the same species as Jabba the Hut.

Also, Poe and Finn should canonically be made into a gay couple. And this one's not a joke. The shock of seeing Oscar Isaac and John Boyega kiss on screen is the only thing that would make me buy a ticket for this movie.

Rey is actually the child of Princess Leia and Jabba The Hutt

Just before Episode 9 completes filming old tweets of JJ Abrams surface which him a un-family-friendly light. In panic Disney fires him from the movie and Rian Johnson, Phil Lord and Christopher Miller are hired to re-shoot large sections of the film to remove his taint. The result will be epic!!!