MovieChat Forums > Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967) Discussion > If it were MY Daughter......

If it were MY Daughter......

posted 19 years ago by yttimsmc11
77 replies | jump to latest

I wouldn't have had a problem at all with the race thing...(if two people love each other, that's all that matters, and to hell with everyone else.) My problem would have been in how long they've known each other. 10 Days!!! Hardly long enough to know if you want to make a lifelong commitment like marriage.

In the 10 days they'd known each other all they did was have fun. They were in Hawaii, for crying out loud. No responsiblities, no hard times, no ups and downs.

If my daughter came home with ANY man (white, black or purple) after only knowing him 10 days, talking marriage, I'd have to put my foot down and be against it. I'd urge them to give it more time to get to know each other in their everyday lives. What's the big rush anyway?

......but it was Sidney Poitier after all, so that's understandable.

[–] THEBADFOUR1987 19 years ago

Well said, and I repeat, well said.

[–] 19 years ago

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[–] evangelicangel 19 years ago

It's not as common now. More then ever you see black and white marriages. In some places, more then the same race marriage. The movie today would've just been look at as another movie, it doesn't really phase many people anymore.

[–] 19 years ago

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[–] vpilutis 19 years ago

It depends on the couple, I fell in love with my wife in less than a week. Yes we're still together 32 years March 8.

Update my dear wife left this world on Dec 21 2012

[–] mikkellster 18 years ago

Did u marry in 10 days of knowing each other?

"On 9/11, we successfully used the Arab people as our scapegoats." G. W. Bush

[–] albondiga1967 18 years ago

My parents met, fell in love and married in a matter of two weeks! This was in 1965, and my Dad was white, my mom Mexican. My Dad caught hell at work, (he was in the Army at the time), and was passed over for a promotion because he married a Mexican woman.

El Paso, Texas...ever heard of it?

[–] vpilutis 11 years ago

No we met Nov 1, 1973, got engaged Dec 20. 1973.
See some stars here
http://www.vbphoto.biz/

[–] Forlorn_Rage 9 years ago

No we met Nov 1, 1973, got engaged Dec 20. 1973.

That's the issue with this movie. As soon as they fell in love, they immediately felt that they had to marry. If they were serious about each other, why couldn't they have at least an engagement of decent interval. Why did she *have* to go to Geneva with him as if their lives depended on it when a few weeks before she didn't even want marriage, period?

[–] Death_to_Pan_and_Scan 18 years ago

by electrictroy (Mon Aug 29 2005 05:00:58 ) UPDATED Mon Aug 29 2005 05:03:45
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This was written by Hollywood-types who go through 5 or 6 marriages!

They don't know the meaning of stable marriage. All they know is how to *fail* at marriage. So it's no surprise they don't understand the concept "date a long while & get to know a person's faults, before you marry".

.

It would have been better written if, the girl was at away at college, met a black boyfriend whom she dated for 2-3 years (hiding the fact from mom&dad), and then suddenly broke the news. I can believe a marriage based upon 2-3 years experience.

But 10 days? Yeah right.
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Nah, it was written by a Hollywood type who thinks that a thief dying in a car accident would actually tell a group of people where to find a buried stash of stolen money thereby setting off a madcap race to the prize (check the writer's credits and you'll spot the title immediately if you haven't guessed already, hint: it's by the same director as this film and was shown in CINERAMA).

While I agree that people in the entertainment business seem to have short marriages, there's no imdb data to suggest the writer falls into this category (no marriage listed) and I'm too lazy to research him. As lazy as you were with the red pen and duct tape which you just used to try to 'repair' what you saw as flaws in the script.

I disagree that 'it would have been better written...' as I really wouldn't buy this character (who seems to believe her parents won't disapprove) keeping a relationship from her parents for 2-3 years. 10 days maybe, but 2-3 years? Yeah right. The 'some boy at college' instead of successful and respected doctor (whom has also proven his ability to sustain a relationship -- until the unfortunate death of his former spouse and child) also removes his unquestioned ability to be able to provide for their daughter, a crucial element which removed that conventional parental roadblock and concentrates on their feelings about the inter-racial relationship. Your ideas or 'solutions' don't simply deal with the 10 days whirlwind romance not being what a viewer might consider a long enough courtship to make a marriage work, it significantly changes many of the aspects of the film and would've probably produced a much less interesting and entertaining film. The casting choice of the older and widely respected Sidney Poitier (who'd be unbelievable as some college kid) also makes this relationship an easier sell to the 1967 audiences who might be less accepting of some random black man marrying a white girl. The 10 days thing also adds to the father's misgivings. Remember, he's been given a very limited time to make his decision about his approval or disapproval of this union. The ticking clock may seem a bit of an artificial element to introduce to move the film forward quickly, but ultimately I believe the film works very well and achieves what it seems it intended to do.

Thanks for playing, we have some lovely parting gifts for you...

However, as someone who hopes to someday write or co-write (and hopefully direct) a good script (and I realize I am currently far off from doing so), I thank you for the opportunity to story edit/critically analyze the problems in someone else's work and spot potential problems. I think this was a comparatively easy one and think fixing the flaws in my own scripts will be a bit more difficult, especially since the perspective changes in a different context.

P.S. My parents got married after dating only 6 weeks and are still together -- almost four decades later.

[–] 18 years ago

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[–] ColonelDEH 17 years ago

You, sir, are an *beep*

[–] 17 years ago

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[–] electrictroy 15 years ago

>>>As lazy as you were with the red pen and duct tape which you just used to try to 'repair' what you saw as flaws in the script.
>>>Thanks for playing, we have some lovely parting gifts for you...
>>>

You take criticism really poorly. The bottom line, if you are going to be a script writer, is to please the audience. i.e. People like me. Fail at that and all the snarky remarks in the world won't matter. We just won't watch the frak you create.

And I don't find the idea of a girl keeping a boyfriend secret unbelievable, since I knew a girl who did exactly that. They dated all through college, and the parents had no clue until they announced their engagement during the 4th year.

-----
Because God created it, the human body
can be uncovered and preserve His splendor. -Pope John Paul

[–] baran_erik 10 years ago

"We" just won't watch? Who voted you the spokesman for the rest of us?

[–] koffeenkreame41-1 10 years ago

I agree, OP, very well said.

"I am the ultimate badass, you do not wanna `*beep*` wit me!"- Hudson in Aliens.

[–] as20 19 years ago

It was 67, maybe they more more naive back then.

[–] inoldhollywood 19 years ago

I was around in 67, trust me, it was even more critical that a couple knew each other longer than that. Most I remember used to date for a couple of years where I was raised in Los Angeles. 10 days? That WAS far fetched!

[–] as20 19 years ago

Well even for today, a couple that spent some days in Hawaï and decides they're made for each other, that's very very naive in a corny way. So i can't imagine what it would have been for a mixte couple in the 60's who berely knew what was ahead of them and didn't know if the both of them could take the pressure.
Very unlikely.

[–] rameshksm 19 years ago

Talk of missing the point entirely. This is a classic case of missing the forest for the trees. The point on debate is not whether 10 days is enough for two people to fall in love and decide to marry. It is whether or not inter-racial marriages are easily acceptable.

[–] luv0817 19 years ago

Oh, I don't know. My grandparents only met once and then dated through letters for a few months before they got married and they've been married for 60 years. Plus, it adds to the romance. If something is real, then it's real. It doesn't matter if it's been 10 days or 10 years. I guess that's just my romantic heart talking though.

[–] akmanetxny 19 years ago

The third time my parents ever saw each other was on their wedding day. (And the first time they met, they don't even really remember, because it was at an open-bar wedding!) They just celebrated their 33rd wedding anniversary!

[–] 19 years ago

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[–] artistathome 12 years ago

I have been married 41years. My husband and i dated every night for 2 weeks and he asked me to get married! We told my parents who were in shock cuz he was ten years older. We had abig wedding 5 months later.

41 years. Sometimes all you need is the spark. But to stay married takes patience. So yes, yu can know if u are in love in merely days!!

[–] IcySpoon 9 years ago

Now that's a story I'd like to hear!

"Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it." Norman Maclean

[–] hammer_lol 19 years ago

to be honest i wouldnt have a problem with a child of mine being in a interracial relationship but you got to think of the times we are not as use to the way we live now were our norms and values have changed it wasn't as accepted then so people wouldn't be use to it

[–] skyhawk0 19 years ago

Good points, but the ten days bit is there only to explain why her parents don’t know all about him. It’s a little leap for the sake of the story and some suspension of belief is needed around that.

Or if you want to look at it another way, that that isn’t the focus speaks as well to the point of the film.

People who have experienced love don’t begrudge it to anyone else.

[–] manthak480 19 years ago

I'm sure ten days would have been a problem with her parents-- but not as big of a problem as his race.

[–] ijonesiii 19 years ago

I think your point is valid. The whole time thing bothered me too. Not only that they had only known each other for ten days, but that they were giving their family ONE day to accept and embrace their relationship unconditionally.

[–] lunaria42 19 years ago

I think he only wanted her father's permission becuase she still lived with her parents and she was very young. Dr. Prentice was 37 and had lived on his own for a long time now. He does not need his parents permission to live his life.

[–] Omegamagezero-1 19 years ago

The difference in age and life experience was pretty substantial too. It just muddied up the plot to have all these other concerns about their marriage. They should have been more evenly matched.

[–] roghache 18 years ago

Of course, you're absolutely right. I think these parents are absolute idiots to be fretting about race in light of the whirlwind 10 day courtship. And on holiday in Hawaii, mind you, with no responsibilities, no reality. Others have commented about marriages that have lasted with such a short dating period. Good for them, but it wouldn't be something I'd recommend. I'd be hysterical if it was my child...like you said, whether the fiance was black, white, or purple! The 10 day courtship made this movie lose all credibility for me. These so called liberal, educated, affluent parents are insane beyond belief if the time element isn't their major concern.

Also, the age difference plus the fact they're going to be living in Switzerland and have to jet off that very night. All pretty sudden.

I agree with another who wrote that the film would have been more realistic & meaningful if the couple were, say, seniors in college or a young career couple and had been dating (unbeknownst to the parents) for a year or so. The racial question might have come across as more relevant. Also, having only a dinner party for the parents to get adjusted to the idea didn't make it dramatic for me, just contrived & foolish. Absolutely, what's the rush?