MovieChat Forums > Bachelor Party (1984) Discussion > 100 things 'Bachelor Party' has taught u...

100 things 'Bachelor Party' has taught us

posted 16 years ago by roguetrip99
36 replies | jump to latest

1. She pees standing up
2. Having a great view of the moon might not be exactly what you had in mind
3. It's fairly easy to sneak a donkey into a hotel room
4. Cat chow makes great dip
5. Restaurants hire people who can't even pronounce "parmesan"
6. The groooom is in the bedroooom
7. Hundreds of drunken, drugged-out partygoers are absolutely sure they didn't have sex with Tom Hanks
8. If moviegoers get punched in the face and see a school bus crash through the screen, they'll think it's part of the movie as long as they're wearing 3D glasses
9. Don't mess with Stan's wife
10. Nick the Dick is serving a footlong...and then some
11. Assassins actually use crossbows sometimes
12. Kids can breastfeed for 17 or 18 years
13. It's actually possible for a straight man to resist a woman like Tracy
14. Debbie's dad is having a great time and wants to change his name to Spike
15. It's possible to burn down a tennis court
16. Egg beaters can be used as sex toys
17. It seems like only yesterday Debbie's airhead friend taught her how to give a blowjob
18. Household appliances are an even swap for a girl
19. Debbie's cousin is a feminazi
20. Doctors can't dance with male strippers...or can they?

[–] Kelski1974 16 years ago

Indians can be pimps and look like Gandi

[–] zmystico 15 years ago

22. Tim does engine work on BMW's
23. The entire undercarriage and interior of a car will drop if you take out one screw
24. The house takes 10% on school bus casinos
25. Condoms make awesome balloons
26. Cole did have too many appliances
27. Debbie and a Porsche handle exactly the same
28. Adrian Zmed fell in love with a "Little Demon"
29. Angels above love his "Little Demon"
30. Its perfectly acceptable to allow strange women to bring their boyfriends to YOU Bachelor Party.
31. In 1984 it was still cool to do "The Alligator"

Wayne Enterprises buys and sells companies like Stark Industries

[–] MrsMonroe74 15 years ago

31.) After making out with a transexual take a shower wearing your glasses & underwear.
32.) Brad & the donkey were the only 1's getting high at the party.
33.) Rick & all his friends had dead end jobs but could afford to throw him an extravagant bachelor party.

______________________________
I like you. do you like me?-borat

[–] chaplin_7 15 years ago

34) If something unfortunate happens to a donkey, life isn't worth living.
35) Tom Hanks' characters go for both the Meg Ryans and the Tawny Kiteans of this world.
36) Peckerhead is an endearing nickname.

man, I can't wait to go to an informal (or formal) event and do the alligator, hahaha

and I love the whole "Tim who does engine work" thing. I said that to my sister the other day at a random moment. It's one of my favorite scenes from the movie.

[–] LadyLovie 15 years ago

37. it's possible to fall from a 10th story building & live.
38. it's possible to fall from a 10th story building & not be injured.
39. you can still claim a possession after trying to give it away.

[–] MrsMonroe74 15 years ago

40. pain is such a rush
41. 2 on a quaalude is bad luck.
42. most married ppl are miserable
43. straight men admire other men size if well endowed.

______________________________
I like you. do you like me?-borat

[–] LadyLovie 15 years ago

44. you CANN0T commit suicide with an electric shaver.

[–] 15 years ago

[deleted]

[–] saint930 15 years ago

45. Some guys would rather be dead than get married.
46. Good girls like bad boys if she gets a thrill when he lights his cigarette.
47. Debbie's relatives and friends have some pretty racy underwear that's easily accessible.
48. Paprika is the luckiest spice in the world!
49. Strife in the Middle East doesn't rank high on Debbie's List of Concerns.
50. Chasing hookers in a hotel room beats the sh!t out of sushi.
51. If you meet the tranny mechanic of your dreams at a party, someone will ask you to name your first six kids after him.
52. Normally, doctors don't like their smut that clean.
53. After a few months of marriage, you're betting games on Monday Night Football with Howard Cosell.
54. Sometimes, you have to wait until the song is over before you can get the cashier to ring you up.

[–] gregory-m-rogers 15 years ago

55. Even nuns can look good with a nice rack!
56. Always check to make sure your junk is covered before getting naked in the changing room.

[–] ZombieJesus92 15 years ago

57. Donkey’s can’t handle blow.
58. A dozen Japanese men will all do one woman at the same time.

[–] SydneyIz 15 years ago

59A. (related to 58) Cougar gang-banging has been popular alot longer than people think. Ilene is probably still feeling the effects of that encounter.

60. Donkeys are closet dope fiends. In certain parts of the world, there are actually certain pharmaceutical labels that warns people "to keep this product away from your ass."

61. Some people really don't know the difference between a wiener and a "WIENER"

62. Some mechanics are secretly cross-dressing, and surprisingly passable (to some people) as statuesque women. Even to the point, where other guys are already trying settle down with them and have kids.

[–] mlmerit 15 years ago

63. The coolest thing you can do to your Porshe is mount some driving lights on the front fenders..

64.Some people like their potato salad "Chuncky Style"...

65.While hitching a ride on someone's lugage at the airport, always make sure you tell them which way you need to go.

66. At one time or another everyone drinks a can of STP on a hot day.

67. Valet parking loves to park a bus but they do expect a larger tip.

68. The phrase "Lay that pipe" has nothing to do with the plumbing in your bathroom.

69. No ex-girlfriend looked like that in real life, and if she did what the hell was wrong with Rick?

70. For every girlfriend who looked like Rick's ex Tracy there is a guy somewhere, sometime telling his best friend, "I'm sick of her crap" so keep your eyes open for a Tracy hanging out at a hotel.

71. Don't worry about grandkids cause, this pup is fertal!

72. That's a waste of some good fat.

73. We all now know the truth about a jam sandwich.

74. Make sure there is a bottom and a top to your dressing room door.

75. Doctors aren't in the least worried about your being embarassed while getting a rectal exam.

76. Getting the hookers into a circle can solve a lot of problems at a party.

77. Always know where the plugs are when two hookers arrive at your house to "put on a show".

78. We don't have a dog. For those of you who didn't get number 72.

79. We tried some doubles this morning, but it didn't work out, isn't a comment about a wife swap.

80. Debbie's Mom will never be the same. Not after "Nick the Dick" gets a hold of her...

[–] B_Movie_Blues 15 years ago

81. If you have a long list of personal faults, with proper application on your part, you can be a brand new person by lunch.

82. Donkeys enter 5 star hotels only in cognito.

83. Indian pimps fear crossbow arrows.

84. Shirley Temple often reminds men in bad marriages of their wives.

85. Olivier might have appeared in O'Neill's stag films.

86. White grand pianos in hotel suites are best used for dancing on top of.

87. Japanese businessmen named Bob prefer sex over sushi.

88. It's always kino to have some vino.

89. Acetylene torches are great for cooking as well as welding.

90. Janitor closets are acceptable theaters for movies that are in their final days.

[–] gregopego12 14 years ago

Good thread.

I had "things learned from Conan. . ."
It went well, but got deleted.

"There always remained the discipline of steel."

[–] cdz6969 14 years ago

91: Nick The Dick is more impressive than the World Trade Center.

This is for Allah... and it's going way out there sucka...

[–] jorgito2001 14 years ago

92. You can make a car horn sound like "La Cucaracha"

93. Cheese clogs you up with snot.

94. Drugs are to the RIGHT...Hookers to the LEFT.

95. Brad's wrists are now "smooth & kissable"

96. The Ghandi pimp has girls that sit on your face.

97. Rick's real name is Bond....James Bond.

--
Descent 2: 5/10
Black Waters: 6/10
Insanitarium: 7/10
Meadowoods: 5/10

[–] gulf_coast_highwayman 14 years ago

98. Boy George has a yeast infection

99. A buck's a buck!

100. Cole should check out his car, man. It's great.

PHEC!

[–] Mission77 14 years ago

Ok, no more adding to the list guys, they made it.

[–] eddieinportland 14 years ago

Sorry I have to do it.

101. If the girls are not back, then Mick cuts off your balls.

[–] jorgito2001 14 years ago

Oh, come on...there's PLENTY of these type of threads on other movies and they go WAAAAY past 100!

Keep 'em comin' guys!

--
Shes Out of My League: 5.5/10
Despicable Me: 8/10
Toy Story 3: 8/10
Paraiso Travel: 8/10

[–] gulf_coast_highwayman 14 years ago

Well, if you insist...

102. Sex is Rudy's one thing. He's good at it.

103. Nymphos Without Pants looks like it was a great porno.

PHEC!

[–] jorgito2001 14 years ago

I always thought Nymphos Without Pants was just Jay's DESCRIPTION of the movie they were going to watch, not the actual title, but eh, we'll take it..why not??

A few more...

104. The porn flick doesn't waste much time, does it?

105. Rudy hopes Cole DIES down there, the basturd!

--
The Mad: 6/10
Shes Out of My League: 5.5/10
Despicable Me: 8/10
Toy Story 3: 8/10

[–] gregory-m-rogers 14 years ago

106. Rick doesnt like his porn this clean

107. Washing you Balls with you underwear on is better way of getting the man off your junk

108. He has a foot long and THANSUM...

109. Rick is a great tennis player

--------------------
They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.

[–] queenb80 14 years ago

1. The perfect cure for pre-wedding jitters is a hammer.
2. Very soon Tawny Kitaen will become "mrs. great guy".
3. Men don't drink tea and play Scrabble at Bachelor Parties.
4. Rick has this boss curly black hair.
5. Brad's ex wife looks like Shirley Temple.
6. Use soap!
7. Presidents have stayed at this suite.
8. Gary loves his mom.
9. Margo and Darlene are twins of pleasure?
10. Adrian Zmed gets all hot and sweaty when he is singing.
11. The camera loves Debbie's dad!
12. When you get married "Nakedness is GONE".
13. Rick is not like all the other boys, because he is from Decteur Illinois.
14. "Wacked out of his brains on drugs" is a medical diagnosis.

I'm sure there are alot of ways I've gone that you haven't.- Stripes

[–] solex10 13 years ago

110. Jealous uptight ex-boyfriends of the rich girl heiress bride who's marrying a working-class man can dangle from a hotel window clad in nothing but bedsheets tied around their crotch.