Reasons why this movie sucked


This is my least favorite of the Indiana Jones movies for a lot of reasons. (I don't include "Dial of Destiny" in this group because it's a shitty KK fanfic, not a real Indiana Jones film).

1.) The story is told in a way that is so different from "Raiders" and "Last Crusade" and in a way that isn't fun and adventurous or compelling. In fact, it feels off, disjointed, and messy.

2.) I hate Willie with a passion. She is a spoiled, loud, annoying, heinous bitch, and the only reason she had "script armor" in this movie was because Indy has to have a girlfriend and boinking material. Otherwise, Indy realistically would have dumped her ass the first time she threw a tantrum or screamed, rather than put up with her bratty behavior throughout the film. Doesn't matter if she was pretty and blond, she was not worth the hassle. If she had been killed by any of the crazy shit she and Indy had encountered in the movie, I would have cheered. By the way, who the F names their daughter, "Willie?" Not only is that a man's name, it sounds like the British slang for "dick."

3.) I found Short Round annoying, he added nothing to the movie, and he's another reason why this film doesn't fit with the other Indiana Jones stories, because in the good ones, he never had a little Asian sidekick.

4.) The "yuck" factor in this film was over-the-top. I really could have done without the exaggeratedly gross dinner scene, the bug room, and the heart-ripping being graphically shown. That's another thing that makes this film nastier than the other Indy films; it's rated R for a reason, while the others are just a hard PG (PG-13 by today's standards).

5.) The "liferaft-as-an-upside-down-parachute" scene was stupid. Even without the Mythbusters' help, your average person could have easily seen how fake, stupid, and illogical it was for Indy to be able to jump out of a plane with the bitch bimbo, inflate the raft in midair, and not have it flip over and dump them out. It would have made more sense for him to tie a bunch of cords to it, tie the cords to him and Screamerella, and treat the liferaft as a parachute instead of how they did it in the movie.

6.) The minecart scene was so dumb. The whole thing looks fake and so cartoony it's laughable.

I have more, but those are just the biggest complaints I have.

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Personally, I enjoyed this movie a lot. I can live with someone saying it's not as good as the other 2 in the original trilogy, but come on Kingdom of the Crystal skull? Way worse than this.
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Personally, I'm glad this doesn't involve Nazis or Communists or any other tropes but introduces mythology from ancient India. I thought this was kind of interesting.

Wasn't Marion also, Sassy, ill tempered and attractive? Wasn't Marion such a tomboy that she could outdrink men twice her size? Willie is cool because she's kinda like the "everyman". She's how most people would feel sleeping in the jungle overnight and then eating disgusting animals for dinner and sticking her hand in an insect swarm with dangerous insects. Her cowardice is amusing and serves as counterpoint to Indy.

short Round is comedy relief in a dark movie and is an attempt to Humanize Indy by giving him a bit of fatherly qualities.

-Love the opening scene "anything goes"
-Love the ending when all the children return to the village

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Marion, at least, was likeable and fun, despite sometimes being annoyingly tomboyish. It's part of her charm. Plus, she too understands archeology, is brave (sometimes to a fault), but isn't perfect.

Willie had no charm at all. And last time I checked, most everyday women do not scream at the drop of a hat or act like big spoiled brats. The only reason she did any of that "city girl roughs it" kinda crap is because the script demanded it. Realistically, she would have forced Indy to drop her off in the nearest modern city they could find after her first rescue, and he'd go off with Short Round on the rest of his adventures without her. Honestly, it would have improved the film a tiny bit.

At least with Crystal Skull I can handle watching it, even if it's ridiculous. The wedding is worth seeing at the end, [though I can easily see that scene alone on YouTube now.] Plus, Crystal Skull didn't have the same rated R crap in it as "Temple of Doom." I never had to cover my eyes to keep the nightmare fuel away.

I noticed they dumped Short Round after this movie, which speaks volumes about how the majority of the audience responded to him as a whole. They didn't seem to like him either, which is probably one reason they didn't bring him back for "Last Crusade."

The opening sequence also rubbed me the wrong way. Normally Indiana is on an adventure, trying to get a relic at the start, and it's stolen from him by powerful men who can best him, whereas this one started with an excessively cheesy musical number, which totally breaks the brand to a T. It also makes it look cheap. Indiana Jones should not have anything in common with crappy musicals!

Forgot all about the ending. It was that memorable.

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Marion, for all of her faults, had the grace to appear in a truly great movie.

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It introduces mythology about India so well that Indians refused to have the movie filmed on their soil.

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Hehehe, ironic, isn't it? Last time I checked, it was the Aztecs who did heart-ripping, not Indians.

However, people have pointed out that this was a secret, niche cult, not your typical Hindu religious practices of any kind. In fact, I suspect the only reason any parts of the ritual were used at all was to contribute to the horror and "yuck" factor, using actions that horrify a lot of westerners, rather than doing any research on secret or fringe religious practices in India that would do something similar. India does have a history of violence of torture, but it's not talked about as much as medieval Europe or central Mexico during the precolonial era.

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If they wanted to highlight India's darker traditions, they should have shown thugs strangle people, or set up the special effects for a Sati burning. The unfortunate explanation is that they needed to entertain kids with yucky gastronomy and also provide chuckles for relatively easily pleased people.

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This is not a movie for kids. It's rated R for a reason.

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That rating is hardly enforced outside of its theatrical release.

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I wouldn't show it to kids. Too gory and gross.

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You're right. Spielberg is mentioned in the same breath as Cronenberg, De Palma, Wes Craven and so on.

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Yeah this one blew.

Raiders and Crusade are the only ones to watch.

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I agree. I don't like this one and it is the worse of the original 80s movies and Crystal Skull gets too much hate. While it isn't as good as Raiders or Last Crusade it is enjoyable to me. Also I liked Dial of Destiny but agree it has some problems with it. Such as the fact the plotpoint of Indy being wanted by authorities is never resolved.

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Look at you, giddy like a schoolboy.

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I'm not Indiana Jones' dad. He's dead.

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Who said you were Indiana Jones' dad.

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You used the phrase "giddy like a schoolboy," which was a phrase used in "The Last Crusade" to refer to Indiana and his dad when they got happy and excited about finding an artifact after so much searching.

And no, I'm not a boy, I haven't been in school in years, and I was not giddy when I rote the OP. I was annoyed at having to hear idiots on this site praise this pile of shit and wanted to make it clear that not everyone likes this movie, and why.

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So?


I never watched ToD more than once.

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You suck, snowflake.

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I somewhat disagree. It's not like there was a long history of Indiana Jones films, so the fact that this one was a departure from the general outlines of the first one, didn't bother me. I was actually a bit disappointed when Last Crusade went back to the same stuff again. - Of course, it had great Indy background and Sean Connery, so... Great anyway.

I liked the opening in the nightclub as a brilliant, appropriately exotic, setting with great period music. I would have hated to see the film open in some predictable fashion with Indy trekking through another jungle. Remember, there was only one film before. Different is good.

I have no problem with Willie as a fish out of water character who is mostly another challenge for Indy to save from jeopardy while having to put up with her. She gave Indy a chance to show his awareness of the culture in the village they came to by having Willie as a witless outsider for contrast.

Short Round never bothered me. If anything he's another feature of the old serials this series is based upon.

I'm never much impressed by gore and nastiness. The bugs were an obvious attempt to outdo the snakes of the pit in Raiders. The dinner scene is just a bit too cute as an attempt to play up the weird and exotic tastes of these creepy foreigners... I quite liked the surprisingly graphic sacrificial scene. It made these characters a bit more than just a copy of the Thugee of Gunga Din, which this film owes a lot to.

The impossible physics of the liferaft escape are part and parcel of serial action. One presumes that a combination of soft snow and the angle of the slope they land on is supposed to gentle the decelleration...

Honest. It's been a few years since I watched but I did see it when it came out and the minecar sequence looked OK to me... The only effect in the original three films that looked bad in the theater was the German plane crashing in the tunnel in Last Crusade.


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Fully agree with all your points.

One exception: I enjoyed Dial of Destiny!

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Sorry you didn't fancy it. This movie changed my life when I first saw it. I absolutely love this film! The gross scenes were funnier than anything. Eating snakes, bugs, and monkey brains from their heads wtf. Great shit to watch after getting blazed for a laugh. Regarding the life raft parachute scene remember that Indy was chosen and blessed Sheeba to save the Indian village. Divine intervention made the landing possible and not logic. Agree Willie was annoying AF, but she was easy on the eyes at least. The minecart scene was worth it just to hear Indy make that ridiculous scream at the end while attempting to put a break on the cart with his boot.

With Doom it was nice to get a break from all the Nazi stuff. I did enjoy all the movies though even Dial of Destiny

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