You guys think Bender was really scared of Vernon?

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Yeah he was. But Vernon was not really paying attention. I know he has a lot of students, but a problem child like bender should've got his attention enough to recognize the abuse at home. Guys like Vernon are supposed to be students like benders best advocate.

He was afraid of him because for all his tough talk, Bender was still just a kid, and not only that but a kid who was being abused at home.

I always thought he was shocked to see Vernon offering a free swing. It wasn't something he expected to see. As for the reason why he didn't take the swing, it's likely because he wouldn't just get a suspension after that. He likely would've gotten into serious legal trouble and no one would believe him that Vernon was the instigator. And sure, if he was as truly badass as he pretended, he would have thrown the punch and not cared about getting arrested.

No

I felt the opposite. In the entire movie, Vernon is scared of Bender and not the opposite. Bender has real troubles at home every day, so compared to his home, this situation felt not that scary. He gets this every day, but he is alarmed that a teacher clearly threatens him: Bender clearly understands that Vernon wants him to hit him, so Vernon will have a clear proof of Benders bad character and a reason that Bender will be thrown out of school. Remaing calm and silent (the first time ever in the movie), its cleary Bender, who stays above in this situation, while unintentionally Vernon reveals his weaknesses to him. Vernon does not get what he wants (a publically accepted proof of Bender as a danger to society), while Bender gets a proof that his image of Vernon is true: a bullying adult, who will cross all limits justifying it with his position in the social hiearchy.