I understand what you are saying. It's very rare you see gay men portrayed as masculine and not very effeminate. And when they are portrayed as manly and tough it's usually in some bizarre creep role. Like the big, tough truck-driving hick that is a rapist or bully. I see where you are coming from. The best exception to all of this is Brokeback Mountain.
My hubby and I have a gay couple that we've been friends with for years and they are almost identical to Mitch and Cam as far as their mannerisms. They even jokingly refer to themselves as such. But when I watch Modern Family, I am not looking at their mannerisms or flamboyancy, I just loved how they presented them as 2 very kind and caring men. They were wonderful parents, successful in their careers and marriage. The kind of people most of us want to be like, regardless of sexual orientation.
My best friend in high school was a guy named John. He was very, very effeminate. So much so that anyone that new him assumed he was gay. Hell, even I did until we became friends. But he was straight, and nailed every pretty girl that came in his direction, lol. He was awesome. The last I heard he was married with 4 kids and very happy. People shouldn't make assumptions but sadly, they still do.
Anyway, I have typed a novel, lol. Take care OnanTheBarbarian 😊💗
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OnanTheBarbarian (10953)
9 months ago
Well, you make a great point about your straight married friend. Some of the most effeminate guys I've known have been heterosexual.
And I also won't deny that there are many effeminate gay guys who fit the stereotype.
But the point about the heterosexual stereotype about us, is you only notice the limpwristed swishy guys as gay. And they may very well be. But you interact with gay males all day who are just as masculine as your average straight guy, but you just never assume they're gay because they act "normal". It's sort of a catch-22 I guess.
No one knows I'm gay until I tell them. I wish I was more flamboyant but I'm not. 🤣
I admit I do not watch Modern Family regularly. But I have seen it. And those two are written in the script to conform to the stereotype.
It's sorta like the two guys on Will & Grace. The one sidekick Jack is an obvious queen. But even Will is written as somewhat effeminate.
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StinkyPoopyPants (2855)
9 months ago
"But the point about the heterosexual stereotype about us, is you only notice the limpwristed swishy guys as gay. And they may very well be. But you interact with gay males all day who are just as masculine as your average straight guy, but you just never assume they're gay because they act "normal". It's sort of a catch-22 I guess."
You are 100% correct. It's because when being gay became mainstream for television, movies, etc, they were always portrayed as limp-wristed, flamboyant characters. You can even see them portrayed that way centuries ago. So, the public has been pretty much trained to pair being gay with being flamboyant and effeminate.
Our gay friends are Virgil and Ron. Ron is very effeminate, Virgil is like you, very masculine and you would never suspect he is gay unless he told you.
I have never watched Will and Grace but it's on my list. I love Erick McCormack!
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OnanTheBarbarian (10953)
9 months ago
What's funny is that gay guys in groups act very over-the-top and camp. I do it myself when I'm around other gay males. It's almost become cultural.
I admit there is something different about our overall behavior. But I'm subtle. I mean I love interior design for example. And Cher!
But that stuff is really ancillary.
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pjpurple@verizon.net (5552)
9 months ago
You just can't tell. Look at all the women who drooled over Rock Hudson. I grew up loving his movies with Doris Day. I thought they made a great couple, so much on screen chemistry.
The one stereotype I love about gay men which is often true is that they are such great dressers with a flair for fashion. My ex dressed okay but nothing special. The homophobic boyfriend I had (after my divorce) dressed like a homeless man. I sometimes see him around town and before I realize that it's him, I think it's a hobo.
One time we were talking about dressing for work. I was a substitute teacher and I couldn't believe how some of the women dressed. I mean, pedal pushers and sandals or flip flops? That's what you wear to the beach or on a picnic.
He said that he didn't like any advice on how he dressed. I had to BITE MY TONGUE! I read an article that said women shouldn't criticize a guy's wardrobe unless they are their wife or mother.
All I could think was, "If anyone needed Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, it's YOU!"
He wore the same black sweatpants (with a hole in them) and plaid, flannel shirts most of the time.
I've often wished that before I die I could date just ONE guy who I wasn't embarrassed to be seen with in public.
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OnanTheBarbarian (10953)
9 months ago
Well, some stereotypes are true. We gay guys do tend to dress better. But many of them should check themselves for going overboard. Flamboyancy can get tacky. And piss elegance is cringe.
I go for subdued minimalism myself.
But yeah, a lot straight guys don't know how to dress themselves. I guess that's why they need women! 🤣
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pjpurple@verizon.net (5552)
9 months ago
Yes, I read something about stereotypes once. It said that stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason, they are often true. I live in small town America, very working class. And a new (and unfortunate) stereotype is emerging here. It's the tendency towards wearing pajama pants and bedroom slippers in public.
Being comfortable is good. But really, how hard is it to get dressed BEFORE you leave the house?
My dad was one of those guys who couldn't dress himself. My mom bought all his clothes. But if you saw the way he mixed and "mismatched" them, yikes! If they were going out together like to a wedding or some other event, my mom always picked out his outfit. Never wanted to be seen in public with him the way he usually dressed.
Of course some guys with wives are able to dress well. Mom used to yell at my dad and say, "Your brothers always dress nice!"
I don't care for flamboyancy either. Even some straight guys overdo that. I've seen quite a few guys who wear more jewelry than I do! I tend to wear only a few rings and a watch. I don't find the "wide open shirt with half a dozen chains" look to be appealing.
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OnanTheBarbarian (10953)
9 months ago
Oh now I'm gonna act like a bit of a flamer. 🤣 But I absolutely hate these idiots who wear pajamas and slippers in the grocery store! Unbelievably tacky.
I have six sisters. I know, pray for me! 🤣
But none of them will walk out of the house unless they've put on their make-up and perfectly done their hair. That's why I am so glad I'm not a woman! (Well, besides a few other factors 🤣). But if I wanna go out I just put on my jeans and a tee and a pair of boots and I'm gone! It must be so frustrating for women to have to get all dolled up to walk out of the house. But that's how my mom raised her girls.
Yeah, life is much easier for guys, gay or straight. I admit.
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