Dumb jokes for a rainy Friday night

I gave up my seat on the bus to an elderly person.

And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.

Worrying works!








Case in point: 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt quacks.

Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon?

Now it’s a sour puss

i bought a puppy from my locksmith

as soon as i brought it home it made a bolt for the door

Where do astronauts eat?

The Lunching Pad, of course!

A mother, father and a son are at the zoo. The son sees two monkeys having sex and he asks his parents what they're doing. Obviously the don't want to tell him what the monkeys are doing so the mom says, "they're baking a cake". They walk around the zoo some more and come across two lions having sex. The son says to his parents, "hey look, those lions are baking a cake." The parents smile and say, "yes they are". The next morning the family wakes up and the son runs up to his parents and says, "hey mom and dad. I know what you guys were doing last night, and I licked the icing off the couch."

What do kids play when they have nothing else to do?

Bored games.