The two best lines


"What a strange person."

"There are some who call me....Tim."

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"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."

"Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies."

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Pretty much everything Herbert says. XD

"One day, lad, all this will be yours."
"What, the curtains?"

"But mother..."
"No, I'm father, son."

"Listen, Alice--"
"Herbert!"

"Who are you?"
"I'm your son!"

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Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

It's just a flesh wound.

I love every quote from this movie. To me, it is the best quoteable movie of all time. My next 2 are Ghostbusters and The Last Boy Scout.

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Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.
GUARD #1:
Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
No, no. Until I come and get him.

GUARD #1:
Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.
FATHER:
No, no. No. You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.
GUARD #1:
And you'll come and get him.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
Right.
GUARD #1:
We don't need to do anything apart from just stop him entering the room.
FATHER:
No, no. Leaving the room.
GUARD #1:
Leaving the room. Yes.
[sniff]
FATHER:
All right?
GUARD #1:
Right.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
Right.
GUARD #1:
Oh, if-- if-- if, uhh-- if-- if-- w-- ehh-- i-- if-- if we--
FATHER:
Yes? What is it?
GUARD #1:
Oh, i-- if-- i-- oh--
FATHER:
Look, it's quite simple.
GUARD #1:
Uh...
FATHER:
You just stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave the room. All right?
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
Right.
GUARD #1:
Oh, I remember. Uhh, can he leave the room with us?
FATHER:
N-- no, no. No. You just keep him in here and make sure he--
GUARD #1:
Oh, yes. We'll keep him in here, obviously, but if he had to leave and we were with him--
FATHER:
No, no, no, no. Just keep him in here--
GUARD #1:
Until you or anyone else--
FATHER:
No, not anyone else. Just me.
GUARD #1:
Just you.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
Get back.
GUARD #1:
Get back.
FATHER:
All right?
GUARD #1:
Right. We'll stay here until you get back.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave.
GUARD #1:
What?
FATHER:
Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1:
The Prince?
FATHER:
Yes. Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1:
Oh, yes, of course.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
GUARD #1:
Ah. I thought you meant him. You know, it seemed a bit daft me havin' to guard him when he's a guard.
FATHER:
Is that clear?
GUARD #2:
Hic!
GUARD #1:
Oh, quite clear. No problems.
FATHER:
Right. Where are you going?
GUARD #1:
We're coming with you.

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"One... Two... Five!"
"Three sir."
"Three!"


- - -

"...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped."

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"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government."

"This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes."

And I love the song of Brave Sir Robin's minstrels (who clearly adore him, a little):

Bravely good Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot,
He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin,
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave brave brave brave Sir Robin.

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
And to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin.

His head smashed in and his heart gouged out,
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged,
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off,
And his penis split and his...

SIR ROBIN: Er, that's... that's enough music for a while, lads...

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" Brave Sir Robin ran away..... bravely run away awayyyy"

"HE who is valiant, pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the castle of .... A-a-a-aaaaaargh"

These 2 lines cracked me up by the way they were said in the movie

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I'm getting/I got better

Now goo a-way before I taunt you a second time

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..King Arthur fight the black knight..

King- Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
Black knight- 'Tis but a scratch.

King- A scratch? Your arm's off.
Black knight- No, it isn't.

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"Look at the bones!"

"You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just cause some watery tart threw a sword at you."

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"ƒuck 'em. ƒuck 'em all." -- Robert Evans

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"Didn't mean to?! You put your sword right through 'is 'ead!"

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My favorite 2 lines are both from the same scene:

'then, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forrest, wiiiiiiiiiiiiith.........a HERRING!'

(we shall do no such thing)

'oh please!'

Palin's delivery for both lines is hysterical!

an almost George Lucasian (!) fit of ass hattery

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"Look let me go back in there and face the peril."
"No, it's too perilous!"

"Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three."

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