I think I'm on Ted's side because I think he was a pretty good father after Joanna left the house. HE took care of Billy and always read comic books to him. Joanna did the right thing at the end? Not to let Billy suffer the "tragedy" twice. However, I've heard some people blaming Ted for his behavior before, they think Ted only looked after Billy for 18 months and that's not worthy for him to gain the custody. What do you think?
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Even taking in consideration the merits of each parent separately -which undoubtedly they both had in the end-, the point we must attend is what Billy needs most. Therefore, no matter how guilty Ted could have been at first, or how much Joanna deserved a second chance then, we can all see clearly Billy needed Ted. By realizing that, Joanna redeemed herself absolutely.
As for the question, it depends on what moment of the movie was going by. That´s why the conflict is so well developed. You can´t by always on Ted´s side or Joanna´s, except in the end, because it was clear how much they loved Billy. It was really sad they hadn´t came back together.
I always wanted Ted to get custody, but i thought both of them were so good to each other when they came to the court cases. And
SPOILERS
What she did at the end was wonderful and even though i'm very happy that Ted got to live with Billy and i think Billy would have been happier with him as well. I still feel very sad for Joanna and they way she gave up her son to Ted so he could stay at home was wonderful.
I would hope that most people were on Ted's side. Walking away from your husband and little boy knowing that you were Billy's primary caregiver and that Ted wasn't the world's best dad makes Streep's character the bad person. It is the definition of selfishness.
shareI would hope that most people were on Ted's side. Walking away from your husband and little boy knowing that you were Billy's primary caregiver and that Ted wasn't the world's best dad makes Streep's character the bad person. It is the definition of selfishness.
Well, I liked both of them, but I think I'm on Joanna's side.
"And for the record, I consider that flying pig to be a coincidence."
I'm on Ted's side.
shareMe too. She was a good mother and a longsuffering wife to a workaholic who ignored her needs. She reached a point where she just snapped and couldn't take it anymore. The YEARS she put in with her son doing everything do not get cancelled out because her ex took care of the kid for a year and half or whatever it was. He only ever developed a bond with the kid out of necessity because his wife ditched him.
I thought the ending was a bit unrealistic and unhelpful as well. It doesn't make sense for a mother who just won a custody battle to bow out. I don't even think it seemed selfless...just stupid honestly. If her character was meant to be redeeming herself there then what she should have done was offer him more days than what he was getting. Split it more evenly. It doesn't actually do the kid, or anyone else in the story for that matter, any favors to be left by his mother a second time and be raised by a single father.
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I'm on Ted's side.
True, he was a work-a-holic.
He was trying to provide a good life for his wife and son.
He may not have spent enough time with them.
He may have assumed that Joanna should be happy and fulfilled with a loyal husband out working hard for her and her son.
She could have found other ways to feel useful if being a wife and mother was not enough.
She could have become involved in charity, become involved in the son's school,developed hobbies.
She DESERTED her son for her own selfish reasons.
She deserved to lose him.
He was better off with Ted, and she herself realized it at last.
http://www.theobamafile.com/
That's what counseling is for.
shareTypical ball-busting b!tch response. You're probably one of those ex-wives that would report their ex for being late with his child support.
Let's not give women any agency, strength or responsibility. She is a full-grown, liberated woman. She was not being physically abused by Ted. He was loyal. He was working his ass off to bring home the bacon. That's not some privilege. That's a responsibility. She was sitting on her ass all day, milking the benefits of all the money he brought home. If she needed to feel better about herself, she could have approached Ted. He did stop to listen when she first threatened to leave. He wasn't some oppressive, possessive, block-headed psycho husband.
I was on Ted's side, but I think judge made bad decision, I think the best solution for Billy would be (nowadays) differential/separated custody (dunno exact english term), 2-4 weeks at one parent, 2-4 weeks at another parent, dunno if this was possible in 1979, but I think it's the best solution for children, when both parents love them, want to be with them and can't live together. These 2 weekends per month must be joke for loving parent (especially when he and his child spent together last 18 months always, except work and zero time with another parent). I heard about some family which made this into perfection, children are staying at their home and parents are moving every 2-4 weeks, it's the best for children under these conditions and these parents must really love their children when they'll sacrifice their own comfort for good/relax of their child on not unnecessary stressing with moving every few weeks (but which is still better than seeing mother/father only 2 weekened per month).
Peter Markoff
If you don't like my english, write it to me in my own language.
I don't think they should have gone to court to begin with. They could have figured something out. They least qualified person to decide who the child should have stayed with was the judge. All he had to go on was 2 very strong testimonials. That being said, I'm definitely siding with Joanna.
I <3 Virginia Woolf.
i wasnt on teds side or joanna's i really cant choose its like choosing between your children or parents
I'm In Deep Sh*t; Deep Sh*t, Arkansas.- Louise
A woman that will walk off and abandon their children, does not deserve to have custody of them.
shareI had some sympathy for Joanna but I thought it was very bad judgement to use a letter to say goodbye to Billy and even then talk about her need to find something interesting instead of focusing on the child. Also, how could she know that Ted was going to be able to care for Billy so it seemed very irresponsible for her to be out of touch with them for months.
share*some spoilers below*
I'm on Ted's side.
While I thought it unforgivable that he neglected his son emotionally (Not even knowing what GRADE he was in...WTH??) and emotionally neglected Joanna as well.
But I also thought it reprehensible that Joanna walked away from her son with barely a word, spouting something about "finding herself". Lady, when you have a kid...its FOREVER and you come second your child always should be first in your life, at least until he is grown. I could have understood it somewhat if she had left Billy for a couple weeks, even a month or so and called and told him SOMETHING, anything.
But she runs with barely a word, and leaves Billy with whom SHE considers an irresponsible father!
She didn't deserve to get custody back at all.
"I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus."
"Didn't he discover America?"
"Penfold, shush."
I'll start by saying I'm a man.
I'm mostly on Joanna's side. She didn't really have a life of her own, she was always taking care of someone else (her husband, her son, etc) and she wasn't happy. Should someone live miserable and unhappy and lonely for the rest of their lives just to please their families and protect the "happy family"? I think not. In our society (although things are rapidly changing), people think women are the ones who are supposed to make sacrifices in order to keep the family together. Women are supposed to take care of the children, women are supposed to take care of their husbands, women are supposed to make anything in order to make their husbands feel happy. But what do men do? They work and provide money to the family and they think that that is enough.
When a man does something "women are supposed to do", like taking care of the children, even for a day, they're praised like they were doing something extraordnary, like it wasn't their responsability. But when a woman takes care of their children for years it goes unnoticed, because that's what "women are supposed to do"
I think anyone deserves the chance to be happy. Of course, it was wrong that she left Billy, but let's remember she had no place to go, almost no money and her future was pretty much uncertain. In this circunstances, the best thing she could do was leaving Billy with his father, who could provide him with a home and food. And let's remember that as soon as she got a stable job and became able to provide Billy with the things every boy needs, she decided to take him back, demonstrating she really loved him. If she didn't, then she would have left him with his dad and never come back. She would have started from zero, enjoying all of her money and spending it on herself, without worries nor responsabilities.
I hate it when a woman is bashed because she wants to live her life and be happy. They deserve that too.
I think that, in Joanna's shoes, I would have done the exact same thing.
What bothered me the most was the abandonment of the kid. The fact that she just left out of the blue without even trying to explain to the kid why or just making it clear to him that it's not his fault. Kids don't know why parents leave or get separated, they think it's because of them. They don't know that grownups have problems that have nothing to do with them. While this kid is feeling abandoned not knowing why his mother left, she's off gallavanting around with her new boyfriend and career and can't even visit once? Obviously the boyfriend and job didn't happen overnight, but it sure did seem like more than enough time went by for her to be able to visit. Instead of visiting she sends that horrible letter to him about how there's more to life than being a mother and it's just not enough for her? It's no wonder he knocked over that picture of her, I would've thrown it out the window.
I do agree with a lot of your points. She deserved to find happiness if she was so miserable and had such low self esteem. It was the way she did it that I felt was absolutely horrible and unfair to the kid.
I think Joanna was horrible for leaving her son.
shareleciga:
I'm a man also...I don't think that a woman should be pigeonholed, either.
But with all the blather nowadays about "a woman's right to choose", why are/should you be able to undo the consequences of your choices? Once you have a child, your menu of "choices" narrows massively. You're bored? Take a friggin' class. You're an emotional wreck? Go into therapy. BUT DON'T ABANDON YOUR CHILD AND THEN INITIATE A LONG EXPENSIVE EMOTIONALLY SCARRING LEGAL PROCEEDING TO GET HIM BACK!!!!!
Incidentally, I'm on Ted's side....
When a man does something "women are supposed to do", like taking care of the children, even for a day, they're praised like they were doing something extraordnary, like it wasn't their responsability. But when a woman takes care of their children for years it goes unnoticed, because that's what "women are supposed to do"
She did it with a man providing financial support. He had to do it ALONE. And the only choice HE had was to do it, or give the child to the state. And believe me, the child NOTICES!!!! Not that they are always appreciative. Usually that comes later.
I hate it when a woman is bashed because she wants to live her life and be happy. They deserve that too.
Absolutely, except when your happiness results in abandoning a child YOU chose to give birth to. Doesn't Billy deserve a chance to have a safe & happy childhood? Yet she leaves him with a man whom she claims is "unresponsive to his son's needs". That is PURE SELFISHNESS!
I think that, in Joanna's shoes, I would have done the exact same thing.
Thank you, deadbeat dad of the year!
Leciga, I definitely agree. Personally, this part stuck out to me:
When a man does something "women are supposed to do", like taking care of the children, even for a day, they're praised like they were doing something extraordnary, like it wasn't their responsability. But when a woman takes care of their children for years it goes unnoticed, because that's what "women are supposed to do"
After women's lib, Joanna had every right and ability to seek out a life of her own apart from being a wife and mother. Joanna chose to do that.
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