Leciga, I definitely agree. Personally, this part stuck out to me:
When a man does something "women are supposed to do", like taking care of the children, even for a day, they're praised like they were doing something extraordnary, like it wasn't their responsability. But when a woman takes care of their children for years it goes unnoticed, because that's what "women are supposed to do"
So often I hear men say that they are "babysitting" their own child for a night because the mother will be gone for a couple hours. I've also seen fathers leave their children in dirty diapers until the mothers come home because they felt that it was a woman's job to do it. That being said, of course not all men are like that, but the attitude is still very much ingrained that mothers are expected to be domestic and selfless and sacrificial while men have the option of choosing to be so. In Ted's case, the option was stripped when Joanna left and he was forced to become a better parent and be less selfish; he has to do something that so many single-mothers do and get taken for granted.
In that respect, I do sympathize with Joanna. According to both Ted and Joanna, she stayed as long as she did for Billy. Her own sense of autonomy was completely erased in order to be nothing else except a mother and a wife, but she stayed because she loved her child so much. But she reached a point where her own sense of self worth was completely destroyed because she kept sacrificing her own dreams and desires. But once she became happy and became financially secure to take care of Billy in a healthy way, she came back for him because she truly loved him. If she didn't love him, she would have just forgotten him and stayed in CA and kept doing her own thing.
But I can also see why viewers are more likely to sympathize with Ted. After all, the story is told mainly in his perspective and we get much more screentime to see his relationship with Billy develop. We are in a position to see him undergo this transformation into a great father, see his worries and fears, his happiness and love. Joanna, on the other hand, tells her side only through words and snippets, so we don't get to see her side as clearly.
But when it comes down to it, I can't say I'm on anyone's "side." Ted made a great home for Billy and finally learned how to be selfless. Joanna was finally able to take care of herself and realize that being a mother does not mean throwing away your own dreams. When it comes to situations like these, no one comes out a clear winner.
reply
share